Swimming

Swimming, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Big old Battlestar Galactica spoilers for the mid-season ending episode - Scifi is going to frak with us and not show us the second half of the last season until next year, so I'm going to list here the things I want, not what I predict, because what the hell might as well shoot for the moon because Earth is an irridated wasteland! Listed from least important to me to most important:

7: I hope that the Fightin' Agathons keep on. I've always liked Athena and Helo, and nothing should separate them (nor should they lose their daughter again).

6: Because Baltar finally did something I could love him for - he saved Laura - really, think about it! I wish him peace as he and his followers go off and do their thing.

5: If Starbuck can't figure out how to treat someone nice, I hope she and Leoben live crappily every after. If she can, I hope she and Sam can figure it out. Then creepy Leoben can go hang with bitchy Tory, who deserves someone like him.

4: Lee is going to be president of whatever's leftover, we know that. He should be a male stripper - open a joint called 'the Inconvenient Towel'. Anyway, he and the only remaining Three should hook up since they are going to spend a lot of time together as the respective leaders of their people. They deserve each other.

3: Poor Saul Tigh. But hey, he has a hottie six who loves him. Not only that, it's Caprica Six! And she's pregnant! With what clearly is the final and 5th Cylon (think about it). They need to settle down together and raise their kid. They deserve each other and I mean that in a good way.

2: Bill is doomed - he can't live without Laura and she's going out soon anyway. I wish them both a good time with what little time they have left. And he and Saul better make up. Saul may be a Cylon, but he proved he's the man he always was when he offered himself to the airlock.

1: Oddly enough, this is what I want to see the most: I want to see Boomer, the original 8, make her way back to Tyrol. Sure, he married the woman who killed Boomer and had a child with her, but Boomer has been shagging a Cavil (ew) so it evens out. I don't know why, but most of all I'd really like to see Boomer back with Chief again because that would close a very painful circle.

Actually, since we're talking about Ron frakkin Moore here, I'll be happy if one or two of the characters I have mentioned make it out alive. Just one or two, Ron. Please!

Brenden at the Pool

IMG_1810, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Ugh. I'll write about my surgery, eventually. No, I'm not happy but it's not like any of my choices to begin with were going to make me happy.

So what have I done this last week, other than whine about my breasts? I finally played and finished BioShock. Twice. Fracking good game. It's a first-person shooter, most of which I don't like, but this one is the 'spiritual sequel' to System Shock 2, which was/is the best game ever. Instead of outer space, BioShock takes place in an underwater city, circa 1960. The designers were clearly inspired by 'Atlas Shrugged' and a better name for this game would have been When Galt's Gulch Goes Horribly Wrong. But no one would have bought it.

And hey! We've started potty-training Brenden. He's doing pretty good, so far. He has accidents, of course, but he's starting to get real good about using the facilities on command. I hope he soon starts asking us to use them. So far we ask him (about every 15 minutes).

more cat pictures

Just to let you know, I'm fine but not feeling up to writing much. I'm mortified by how big my chest is.

Edible Greens

Edible Greens, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

This is the Greatest!!! Theological!!! Argument!!! EVER!!!!

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.

An amazingly amusing bit of solipsism before my surgery


more FAIL

Here's an annoying philosophical pause - one of the not very fun aspects of undergoing surgery for cancer is spending too much time under the influence of painkillers and contemplating the meaning of death.

I have always had a problem with faith in general - once I got past the age of 12 I have had a tough time just believing in things. I'm categorized as a 'soft' atheist - I have no freaking clue as to whether a god or gods exist but that's besides the point; I don't believe in God the all-father who will give me eternal life so long as I (insert religious belief here).

I think it's the eternal life thing - living forever on a different plane of existence - that gets to me - it just doesn't make sense. I think I prefer the idea of recycling - I mean reincarnation. I'd love to come back again and try something new.

And so anyway there I was stoned out of my gourd thinking about coming back and trying again, and I was wondering, since the universe is so vast and time is so very long, maybe reincarnation isn't as far-fetched as it sounds. What I mean is that a combination of factors would come together again so that somewhere something was born that would have my conciousness.

I'm not making myself very clear. I'm not talking about my soul or my memories, just something somewhere that would be aware like I'm aware now. Argh. It's hard to explain exactly what I mean.

Then I got to thinking even further (remember, I spent December pretty well smashed 27/4) about how just long forever is, and I was wondering if the universe keeps exploding and expanding, and exploding, and expanding, and wondering if it's the same every time. Does every time the universe explodes does the planet earth get formed and evolve human beings, and around the time they label 1964 some girl named Sandy gets born? Do things change every time (meaning some times I wouldn't be born at all as my ancestors make different choices) or do we constantly make the same choices (disco is inevitable - forever and ever, amen)?

Then I got to thinking even wierder - maybe it's the same every time around but every time it's different and I have someone else's conciousness, or point of view. Meaning at one time or another, I have been / will be everyone.

That totally gave me the heebie jeebies. I've been / will be Hitler? Not to mention every single Jew that got gassed. That got me to thinking about all the murder, mayhem, slavery, rapes, and robbery throughout the ages. And all the pain. And Ryan Seacrest! Holy crap. I guess I ought to be nicer to myself.

more cat pictures

More ado about nothing

My surgery is set for this coming Wednesday. Even though it's an outpatient thingy, I'm going to be in the hospital all day. Whee! I underestimated how much time I'd be out of work. I thought it would be a couple of days but my doc said it would be at least a week, maybe 10 days.

Ed and I agreed it was a great season of Lost. We think it was because it was a shortened season so the writers kept the fluff to a minimum and just told the story they needed to. And I'm glad Ben is alive. I still hate him, but he's the most fun character on the show. And I'm happy for Penny and Desmond, although they seriously need to find a deserted island somewhere to hide out.... ok maybe not an island.

Letter to Brenden Month 36 Hooray, in 4 days you are three! We still haven't potty trained you, although you have shown pretty good bladder control (I won't go into details) lately. Please quit taking off your loaded diaper. You keep surprising me with your vocabulary, for instance yesterday, you grabbed the spatula from sink and yelled "SPATCHA!"

You are loving video games a bit too much so we decided one of the things we were going to buy you is a video game console a bit more advanced than your age (but not a Wii). If you can play Call of Duty 4 you can handle the VTech console. You also have pretty much wrecked your dad's classic game controller - the one with Donkey Kong, Galaga, Pac-Man, etc. Fortunately all I have to do to get you away fron the controls is ask you if you want to go outside. The water was 80 degrees this weekend so we swam, swam, then swam some more. Despite my decisions to the contrary this month you will be taking swimming lessons. Enjoy, bud!

Big Stick for Dad

Big stick for dad, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

My dad keeps passing his checkups with flying colors. Yay, dad!

I forgot to mention: I took Brenden to the park last Sunday morning. He discovered an interesting swing - it is a big tractor tire suspended from three chains so it hangs sideways like it would be lying flat on the ground. The thee chains meet up at a swivel so not only can it swing side-to-side, it can spin.

He got me to spin him, faster and faster. Finally he asked me to stop, and I pulled him off the swing and tried to get him on his feet. He was a little unsteady. He asked to go home and he insisted I carry him (it's a half-mile walk). Every time I put him down he'd walk a little, then beg me to carry him. If I refused, he'd cry. Finally I put him on my shoulders and we got home.

I gave him some water while he sat on the couch. Suddenly he stood up and hurled his breakfast all over the couch. It wasn't a little puke, it was a standard Linda Blair joke projectile mass of goo. I was worried he was sick, but he was fine after that. Lesson learned: spinning a toddler around and around for a long period of time is not a good idea.

I also forgot to mention: I watched The Simpson's Movie (in Blu-Ray, but that hardly mattered). Cute, funny, worth a watch especially if you are or were ever a fan of the show. And weren't we all at one point in time? I don't think I've watched the show since before I moved to Alabama. It's been on the air since 1989! Sheesh.

If you get the cable channel G4 ( Spike for Nerds) it is showing The King of Kong Sunday afternoon. Really, it's worth watching!

Nothing much about nothing

Pictureok 056, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I hope everyone had a good Memorial Day weekend. Brenden and I swam, and then we swam some more. Then we swam even more, and Sunday night Jon brought a bunch of skydivers home and Brenden swam with his dad a bunch.

We took a break on Monday because it was cloudy. We swam just a little bit then Brenden told me it was too cold. I spent most of the day watching the CSI marathon on Spike (that show is a guilty pleasure), and took time out to watch a documentary recommended to me by my brother: The King of Kong.

I concur with Ed's assessment of the doc. I will add that when it begins and I first met these people I felt an incredulous desire to see if Christopher Guest is in the credits anywhere. After a while I really started to empathize with Steve Wiebe, who took solace in Donkey Kong after getting laid off from his job (I lmao'ed when his son is yelling at him when he's trying to finish a game - been there, done that).

It would be easy to smirk and say 'what losers' but I think of all the time and quarters I wasted over the years on video games (I was pretty damn good at Galaga in the height of the 80's - there was a machine at the laundromat I used). I have to recommend a viewing of this documentary to everyone (despite it being about trying to beat the high score on an ancient video game).

Oh, and another amusing Brenden story (and a big old "FYT" to Kathy Lee Gifford): I'm trying to get him to tell me when he has a poop and he started to this weekend: he walked up to me twice and handed me his fully-loaded diaper which he took off. He proudly announced "Poo-poo!" both times and I had to scramble to find the wipes before he decided to sit down any where.

What I'm watching:

Pictureok 090, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Bee Movie and Ratatouille: Yes, I've seen the Pixar movie before, but we caught it on one of the Hi-def channels right after the Bee stuff. It helped me understand why I thought the Bee stuff blew. Ratatouille's story is character-driven. I mean the characters drive the story! Remy the rat has a mad passion for good food and wants nothing more to be a chef. The movie not only says this, it shows it. What happens during the story is driven by Remy's (and to a lesser extent the other characters) desires and actions.

Whereas the B movie just rambles. Jerry Seinfeld's bee character doesn't want to just pick a bee job and work it until he dies. But from that point he just rambles around, makes friend with a florist, and eventually sues humans for stealing honey from hardworking bees. It's just stupid.

Oh, yes: the animation was no where near Pixar's greatness. Crap, it didn't even come close to Toy Story, which was released over 10 years ago! Upon a second viewing, I've come to think Ratatouille is a darn good movie.

Beowulf: Speaking of bad animation... That poem we were all forced to read in high school is made into a bad movie by the same people who made The Polar Express. It's completely CGI and the characters seem lifeless. Again, Pixar kicks ass compared to blah blah blah... Either make cartoon characters CARTOONS or use the techniques that Sin City and 300 used for the animation.

The Kingdom This one is about a terrorist attack in Saudi Arabia that kills many Americans, including plenty of women and children. A group of FBI agents manage to trick their way in to investigate. This movie is actually a pretty good thriller, with Jamie Fox, Jennifer Garner, and Chris Cooper. It allows the terrorists to be bad guys, but not in the stock movie character sense. What I mean is I don't think you could replace them with Eurotrash Nazis and have the same movie. It's worth a watch but brutally violent.

The Pixar Story I caught this documentary while channel surfing. This movie illustrates how the little guy perservered in the face of great odds. I did not know that Pixar was originally a subdivision of Lucasfilm! Basically George Lucas told them "A full-length comuter animated movie is a nifty idea, but we don't have the money for that". Suuuuuure, George, I believe you. But anyway Steve Jobs kept Pixar afloat until the company made a deal with Disney and Toy Story was born. And I hope Lucas spent a few weeks kicking himself in the butt when he saw that movie's box office receipts.

It almost didn't get born because Disney kept trying to interfere. Hooray for John Lassiter for sticking to his guns! Pixar's worst film is A Bug's Life and I adore that movie! After 8 films, I think there is plenty of proof that Pixar is good, not just lucky.

Lost and Battlestar Galactica OMFG! HS!HS!HS!HS! And I have to wait 2 weeks for both shows. That just blows.

For the record my order of preference:

Toy Story
Toy Story 2
The Incredibles
Cars
Monsters, Inc
Ratatouille
Finding Nemo
A Bug's Life

Name that Pile of Poo

Chet, originally uploaded by Comments Are Great, You Know.

Just because I so totally have nothing at all to talk about:

Top 5 Bill Paxton Movies

Aliens: Along with his small role as older brother Chet in the forgettable Wierd Science his role as Hudson vaulted Paxton into semi-fame (he became one of those "hey, it's that guy!" actors). Hudson is an obnoxious Colonial Marine who goes into shock and semi-hysteria after his squad gets thier collective butt handed to them by rampaging alien hordes. Hudson has a thousand quotable lines, from the immortal "Game over, man - game over!" to "Hey, maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked, pal!"

Apollo 13: After years of grinding semi-obscurity, Paxton finally had another big part in an ensemble movie. Instead of the usual obnoxious guy with all the great quotes, he play astronaut Fred Haise as a decent everyman in a really sucky situation. I'm not a huge Ron Howard fan, but when he hits a home run, it's always totally out of the park. This movie is required watching, as is Parenthood.

One False Move: Independent thriller about FBI agents tracking murderers to a small town in Arkansas. Paxton plays the rather excitable sheriff of this area but loses his enthusiasm fast when he realizes he has a connection to one of the killers. This movie made some people finally notice Mr. Paxton has some acting ability (including Ron Howard).

Near Dark: I hate vampires but this movie is an exception. I think it's because the bloodsuckers in question aren't effete and angsty. They just like killing and blood drinking. Especially Severen (Paxton's character). He and his family are inducting a new member, who freaks when he's shot in the belly with a shotgun. Severen exclaims "It's a kick, ain't it?" then proceeds to tear apart the bartender who shot him. Vampires suck (heh), but I love this little band's enthusiasm.

True Lies: Bill Paxton at his obnoxious best. He's a sleazy used-car salesman here who is putting the moves on Arnold Swarzenegger's neglected wife (Jamie Lee Curtis). Fun cheesy movie if not WAY overproduced. Still, Bill gets most of the good lines, including the classic "[Y]ou get their pilot lit, they could suck-start a leaf-blower!"

Frailty: Hey I said 5 but I'll make it 6. Bill Paxton directed as well as starred in this movie and is it twisted. He's a widower trying to raise his two sons when God tells him he has to kill demons living among everybody. He brings his two young sons in on his crusade. There's enough here to offend the most die-hard atheist *and* fundamentalist Christian. I got a big kick out of it.

Maintaining Tradition is Important

Sleep time, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday Bill Paxton,
Happy Birthday tooooo youuuuuuuuuu!

Brenden and Anthony

Brenden and Anthony, originally uploaded by nheiges.

Nancy, Mark, and Anthony came for a weekend visit. We had fun at a Decatur park and in the pool and hot tub - the pool is clean, clear, and open even though it's cold. Nancy came over to catch up on Battlestar Galactica season 4 and we made it through 4 out of 6 episodes. I'm so glad I can geek over the show with someone I know! Besides my brother Ed.

I stole this photo from Nancy's Flickr site. It's totally adorable; she took it just before they left on Sunday. And since Sunday was Mother's day, Jon gave me a terrific gift: a Brenden-free day! I dropped him at the drop zone (heh) and went home and did nothing but play computer games and snack on cheese and olives.

The olives were a Mom's day gift from Jon; the cheese was a birthday gift from my brother Ed and sister-in-law Jen. They sent us some cheese for Christmas which was TEH YUMMEH and I loved getting more.

The only useful thing I did was vacuum the worms out of my pool. They committed suicide during the night before's terrific thunderstorms.

What I'm Watching:

Yellow Flowers, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Alvin and the Chipmunks Kiddie film. A waste of Jason Lee, of all things.

I Am Legend I finally got to watch a movie where Will Smith acts, and doesn't play Will Smith (not that there's anything wrong with that - I enjoyed Hitch way more than I should have). The plot has a few holes, but it's saved by Smith's performance as his character seems to be the only survivor of a plague that killed most and turned a bunch into bloodthirsty mutants who managed to wipe out those who were immune to it. I'm not going to say more but I was gushing tears at several points and it's all Mr. Smith's fault.

Touching the Void Amazing mountain-climbing story, narrated by the 3 people who actually participated in the event (and dramatized by actors). Two guys climb a mountain in Peru (the third is at their base camp) and on their way down one of them breaks his leg (and not a simple snap, either; he described it like he drove his lower leg bones through his knee and jammed into his femur -OW!). His friend painstakingly lowers him down 300 feet at a time, but at one point, it gets dark and storming and the hurt guy ends up dangling over a precipice and his friend ends up having to cut the rope between them.

Surprisingly suspenseful, considering it is narrated by the guys it happened to. The hurt guy's journey out from the crevasse he landed in back to the base camp is just insane. YOU scoot on your butt backwards over a glacier! I don't know why I'm watching so much mountain-climbing stuff; I certainly have no desire to do so (and this story didn't make me want to do it any faster).

Letter to Brenden Month 35

Pictureok 084, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

You have quit with the hitting, at least other kids.

Sometimes you're funny: you will knock on my arm or leg, like knocking on a door, to get my attention. You constantly want my attention. Sometimes I just get so tired of you being in my face. I'm sorry about that.

Last weekend you were great at the pool store, good in the grocery store, and then things rapidly deteriorated from there. I took you into the hot tub Saturday. When we got out, I set you down and wrestled the cover on, only to discover that you ran around to the other side of the pool. I asked you to come back, and you refused. You played that game where if I walked towards you, you would move to keep the pool between you and me.

I finally noticed a big bug in the water and I pointed it out to you. You came around to look so I grabbed you around the waist, took you inside, and spanked you. Hard. In between your screaming and sobbing I tried to tell you why I spanked you.

What a load of good that did; you played the same game with me on Sunday.

I'm just about totally revolted by my lack of mother skills.

Slacker

Pictureok 152, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Been busy and nothing to write about.

Jon's mom visited for a week and it was nice to come home to a clean house and a cooked dinner. Not wonder husbands like wives. I need a wife.

About the most exciting thing I've done all week is open the pool, and any polar bears in the vicinity are welcome. I hope it warms up soon enough.

Of course I'm watching BSG and there's even new episodes of Lost (yay!).

Oh! I almost forgot. I'm scheduled to get my new set of hooters June 4th. I can't wait!

Everything you want, in the worst possible way.

Galactica Cast 2, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

There's only a vague spoiler below:

Jacob of TWoP wrote those words about Battlestar Galactica - "everything you want in the worst possible way". I've reflected often on this curse, because it comes true OFTEN for us the audience, as well as the characters.

(My favorite silly instance of this curse was when we got to see Lee in a towel in Why We Fight. All the fangirls were begging "More Apollo in a towel, please!!!!" So what does Ron Moore do? We get Lee in a towel during his "distressed at Kara so I'm going to eat everything in site" phase. Aagh! My eyes!)

I mentioned to Nancy this show makes me cry at least once a month and it has set a record by making me cry for the first 3 episodes. The last ep I saw ("The Ties that Bind") made me cry for a character who I was looking forward to watching die. This character's death left me feeling horrible! Everything I want, in the worst possible way.

This character did some stupid, stupid things and got everything dreamed of (in the worst possible way). What a screechy, annoying asshole and right now I am so haunted by this character's end. That was no way to live and that was no way to die.

I'm so scared for everyone on this show I almost don't want to watch.

The Best Way to Travel

cessnamark, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I don't have much time to write as I'm still busy playing catch-up. We're back from a week in Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping over the plane. Really, we had 40 knot headwinds flying to McAlester but it beat driving. We had to stop in Stuttgart, Arkansas to refuel and most of Arkansas is under water.

We had a fine, relaxing time at dad's house. I did absolutely nothing and I think my total TV + computer time all week was less than 2 hours. I read some and ran around after Brenden mostly - his favorite activities involved kicking ant hills, throwing rocks into the pond, and getting rides on the 4-wheelers. He also made oatmeal cookies with Ilu and had ninja fights with his grandpa using balloon swords.

I have a crapload of pictures to post and when I do I'll go into more detail on exactly what we did.

The flight back was much better because we had a 20 to 30 knot tailwind. Our flight there was over 5 hours (including the stop) but the flight back was 2 hours, 47 minutes.

Oh yeah, a big cheer (\o/ \o/ \o/ \o/) for Fox! They renewed The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

Short bits

Pig, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Tornadoes took out the Dixie Railway Museum last Friday so our Day out with Thomas on sunday was cancelled. I'm glad Brenden doesn't really understand things well yet because that would have been a headache to explain to him.

These women should never ever have to buy their own beers (or fruity mixed drinks, if that's what they prefer) again: Sgt. leigh Ann Hester and Spec. Monica Linn Brown.

This blog constantly causes me to snort hot coffee out my nose: Bad News Hughes. Too bad he's not writing it any more.

And I wanted to post a link that is some convincing proof that John McCain is a cylon but it's a season 3/4 spoiler so I won't.

We are going to Oklahoma soon for vacation. Yay!

Rant time:

I just wrote a $65,000 check to put on our mortgage. No, it wasn't painful at all. You know why? Because we're saving about $100K in interest.

Jon and I were listening to the Dave Ramsay show the other day and he was talking to a sadly ignorant woman who didn't want to be out of debt. Her husband did (and obviously had talked her into talking to Dave). Dave was patiently explaining to her why sacrificing now would pay off in the future, but her whole argument was that in order to buy things they would have to go right back into debt.

I don't know if she was merely ignorant or just stupid (I hope the former for her husband's sake) because I used to think like she did until I learned to run the numbers. I am going to work HARD with Brenden so he understands terms like 'saving' and 'delaying gratification'. If I had kept every dollar I have paid on interest I would be able to pay cash for real estate on St. John.

Bummer.

Charlton Heston: A Tribute from Mystic Ed, originally uploaded by gaywizard123.

I am glad his suffering has ended - being 84 with Alzheimer's has to suck. I've been a fan of Charlton Heston since I was 10 or 11. I'm amused /annoyed at all the press write-ups that mention him and his affiliation with the NRA but don't mention his work during the Civil Rights movement. Wikipedia touches on some of it. I don't agree with all of his politics but he shouldn't have been smeared and vilified the way he was. He was an old school LIBERAL who grew disenchanted with the direction the country was heading and had the courage to speak up about it. Rest in Peace, sir.
Before I forget,I have one Charlton Heston memory that just skidded through my thoughts: He was on the Mike Douglas show a billion years ago and Mike had him read aloud from a car manual. The idea was that Heston could make anything sound dramatic. It did and it was hilarious.

Back to my regularly scheduled blatherings: I like this quote: Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

What I'll be Watching:

Dollhouse Woo-hoo! A new science fiction series from Joss Whendon! Plus Tim Minear is aboard and Eliza Dushku stars. (\o/). I'm also pleased to see that Olivia Williams is signed up for a part. She played Bruce Willis' wife in The Sixth Sense. I have always wanted to see her in more but everything else I've seen her in she hasn't really done much. Anyway it's about sekrit agents who get their minds wiped between assignments -basically they are programmed like robots for their jobs. Dushku plays an agent who starts to develop her own personality. Hey, it's Joss Whedon. I'm there.

What I'm Watching:

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life I love Amazon Unboxed but they should really have the titles you can download closed-captioned. Brenden tends to be turned up all the way to 11 just before bedtime and most of the Monty Python fun is when someone goes off on a diatribe. I've seen it before and it's still funny. I was amazed at how young everyone looks.

Speaking of the Meaning of Life:

I'm sorry I'm such a goober - remember I said my love for something can be embarrasingly unconditional. I've been obsessing over this show for the last week or so and thank the GODS Battlestar Galactica Season 4 started Friday so I can start worrying about Kara and Lee again (and Bill, and Laura, and Six, and Athena, and Helo, and Saul, and Anders, and yes, even Gaius). It's a long way to September when we get new episodes of Life.

I'm totally dorking about all the Deadwood alumni that showed up - Robin Wiegert (Calamity Jane) is a cast member; William Sanderson (best known as Larry who had 2 brothers - Darryl and Darryl), Garrett Dillahunt (constantly plays creeps well - was also a creep in 4400 and Sarah Connor Chronicles) and Titus Welliver (is that a great name, or what?) have all guest-starred and all 3 characters would be welcome back. If the casting director manages to snag Timothy Olyphant or Ian McShane for season 2 I might spontaneously combust.

Letter to Brenden Month 34:

jonandb2, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

You were tested by the Hartselle School system, and you actually did well on vocabulary, but you qualify for tutoring on enunciation. I'm relieved to hear that it's not only me who doesn't know what the hell you are saying.

Your behavior the past month has been troublesome - you tend to hit. It's not out of anger or frustration as much as wanting attention. I wish I knew some kids your age, bud. We're thinking about putting you in a day care setting one or two days a week so you can play with other 2 to 3 year olds. The 5 year olds you spend time with of course don't want much to do with you because you aren't as developed as they are. Still, jumping on them when they aren't looking is a no-no. At least they aren't smaller than you, but it's troublesome.

The other thing that is really annoying me is you've been playing me - the night before last you woke up crying and you wouldn't stop. I couldn't tell if you were hurt or having nightmares or what. Jon went and slept on the couch and you slept with me. There were no more tears. Then the next day Devin said you had a good day and were cheerful, etc. but as soon as you came in, you started crying in that fakey way you have when you want something and you wanted to be held. Jon called shenanigans earlier, but I didn't smell the bullshit until then. I knew it was going to be a long night. You cried and cried and cried, but I made you stay in your own room. You finally went to sleep. Crap, I hate it when you play me like that!

On the bright side we've gone out to eat a couple of times and your behavior has been moderately acceptable. I'm so glad it's warming up so we all spend time outside together after work.

Just for Nancy:

Ralph Fiennes, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Hot Nazis are wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong wrong.

Tank Hard

brenden, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

That "tippity tappity tippity tappity" noise you heard yesterday was me doing a happy dance. We sold our private airplane (\o/) to the business. The money is going on the mortgage. I also am happy (\o/ \o/ \o/) because Battlestar Galactica starts season 4 this Friday.

What I'm Watching plus a bonus rant:

Live Free or Die Hard: It's interesting to note how much Bruce Willis has changed over the years - how much he's matured as an actor and aged as a man. This movie is okay but it's further proof that the 80's are over. Action movies are in a low-point on the cycle - a cycle that James Cameron ushered in with his 2 Terminator movies and Aliens, then John McTiernan imitated with Predator, the original Die Hard and Hunt for Red October (which in all fairness is more of a political thriller and his least James Cameron-like movie). McTiernan's career seemed to have imploded with The 13th Warrior (which is a GREAT MOVIE BTW - it's got VIKINGS!) and the remake of ROllerball (which sucked the proverbial ass).

Then Renny Harlin, who is a pale imitation of John McTiernan who is a pale imitation of James Cameron, did Die Hard II and Cliffhanger. He suffered from hubris and made the godawful pirate movie Cutthroat Island and was last seen directing dogs like Manhunters and The Covenant.

Then we won't go into Micheal Bay, who seems to be in a category all by himself in terms of directing hubris but he still wishes he were James Cameron (Bad Boys, The Rock, Armageddon etc etc etc). He's got enough smarts at least to try to reinvent himself and Transformers was a pretty good kid's movie that also appealed to people who grew up with those toys.

One thing that James Cameron understands that his imitators didn't really get was he knows that action movies tend to exclude women. They either exist to prove that the hero is heterosexual or to be rescued by the hero (in many movies they are both at the same time). In Cameron's movies the woman tends to be the hero. (True Lies is the exception but Jamie Lee Curtis had more to to than your average woman in an Arnold Swarzenegger movie). Cameron understands that in a date situation 80% of the time it's the woman that chooses the movie so he made it a point to try to have something that appealed to them. People can slam Titanic and hate it all they want - that movie appealed to girls and women, especially young girls and they represent an ungodly amount of purchasing power.

So anyways most straight-forward action movies these days are either direct-to-video or they have a strong appeal to women. The Bourne franchise is the only one I can think of that has been kicking box office butt and it has strong women characters and a tortured hero you just want to hug. The other action movies that have succeeded in the late 90's to present day have strong fantasy elements (The Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, Spider-Man) that succeed with women because the actors appeal to younger women and / or there's an aspect of the story that appeals to them (love beyond the perfunctory heterosexual creds, tortured cute heros you want to hug - actually I don't get the appeal of the gay pirate thing as much but still - there are pirates which are almost as cool as Vikings).

So to get back to what we were discussing, the last Die Hard movie (directed by Len Wiseman who perpetrated the Underworld movies on us) tanked hard but it wasn't really that bad of a movie. It wasn't great, but I bet in the late 80's - mid 90's it would have been box office gold. As I watched it, it just felt kind of flat. Been there, done that, blah. Plus there was just nothing there to appeal to me as a woman. Nothing!

I also watched the first episode of the Showtime show Dexter, about a serial killer who stalks and kills serial killers. Cool premise, but I am beginning to completely hate voice-overs. There's nothing that Dexter said in V.O. that I couldn't have inferred by what was happening on the screen.

It's an iguana!, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

What I'm Watching:

I finally saw the other half of the Grindhouse double feature - Quentin Tarantino's Deathproof. I had started watching it before, but after 15 minutes of yak yak yak yak yak I shut it off. Upon my brother's urging I made another attempt at watching it and only TiVo'd through about 15 more minutes (if you fast-forward through something on the first setting, you can speed-read the closed-captioning and still follow the story).

I understand why Tarantino wanted us to spend so much time with the characters because one of the fatal flaws of any stalker / slasher movie is the victims are usually not very sympathetic. In this case I think Tarantino went overboard in making sure we got to know the victims before Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell, how cool is that) starts terrorizing them. When the movie gets down to business, however, all I can say is HOLY SHIT.

Then comes the second act / set of victims: the movie has some of the best damn car chase / stuntwork since the 70's movies Tarantino was trying to emulate. Zoe Bell, a Kiwi stuntwoman (Uma Thurman's stunt double in the Kill Bill movies) who basically plays herself is a hoot. All the victims during the second half are really cool and fun, actually.

Tarantino also didn't kill in children so ultimately I think I like Deathproof more than Planet Terror and I intend to try to watch it again without any fast-forwarding when I work up the intestinal fortitude to do so.

The House on Haunted Hill: Not good - I was bored and it was Sunday. The movie was based on the old William Castle movie of the same name, and the only notable goodness here was Geoffry Rush's GREAT impersonation of Vincent Price, Jeffrey Combs (but not enough - what is a horror movie with Jeffrey Combs without some of his classic ascerbic comments?), and I was amused to discover that the original screenwriter was my childhood-favorite writer Robb White. It turns out he collaborated with William Castle on a lot of dreck. I was saddened to discover the only book of White's that is still in print is Deathwatch. He also amusingly wrote a book called Our Virgin Island - it turns out he and his wife lived in the British Virgin Islands back in the 30's and 40's. But that's neither here nor there in regards to the movie. The only other notably positive thing I can say about the movie is the black guy lives.

South Park: Is showing new episodes, hooray! The Britney Spears episode was disturbing and I was glad to note that I'm not the only person in the universe that feels bad for her. The 'Major Boobage' episode, Parker and Stone's tribute to Heavy Metal is hilarious. My favorite is still the World of Warcraft episode from a few seasons back.

I tried to do a write-up of a TV show meme I found but I lost interest. I realized something while trying to come up with 5 TV characters that I would (ahem) 'do': In all of my favorite T.V. shows I tend to like the women better (I'm not wired that way so it was a losing topic). I've mentioned before how much I love X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Battlestar Galactica. I love Scully, Buffy (and Willow and Anya), and Starbuck far more than I love any of the guys. I have 2 new T.V. shows I'm loving:The Sarah Connor Chronicles and Life. Of course Sarah is my fave, and on Life, I'm appreciating Dani far more than nutbag Charlie.

The only exception to currently running shows would be Lost, but in the case of this show, none of the characters really stand out as favorites. Kate, Jack, and Sawyer are all tools. I do love Sayid, Hurley, and Desmond, however. Oh, hey: to come full circle, Zoe Bell was on Lost for a few episodes but all she did was wrap a heavy chain around herself and leap overboard from a stranded freighter. What a waste, sheesh!

How to Annoy Me

bigshoes, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

How to Annoy Me

I am usually a pretty calm person. But we had an incident at dinner last night that caused me to curse like a sailor and experience flashbacks to my childhood.

We had gone to Lowe's to buy some more supplies for my front yard project and got back home pretty late. We stopped by a Chinese restaraunt and got some take-out. While getting B's food in front of him I noticed Jon had taken NOTHING BUT MEAT from the Kung Pao chicken, meaning that what was left over was almost COMPLETELY VEGETABLES!

This incident is what caused my flashback. My sister would habitually pour herself a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the marshmallows, then PUT THE CEREAL BACK IN THE BOX!

Don't you understand? The ratio of cereal to marshmallows was too high!

In Jon's defense, I had already gotten my plateful and had no plans to get more. He doesn't like vegetables unless they are cut small (that's one of his peeves), so I shouldn't really have cared. But don't you see, if he had simply taken a serving of Kung Pao chicken then shoved the veggies aside on the plate that would have been fine. But by simply taking chicken and leaving the rest the ratio of vegetables to meat was TOO HIGH!

Hot Dog by the Pond

Hot dog by the pond, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I love this photo. By the way, Brenden gets very shirty with me if I try to cut up his hot dogs. He eats the dog and then he'll eat the bun if he feels like it.

Hope every one had a chocalatey Easter. I hid a dozen plastic eggs filled with Sweetart jelly beans and Dove chocolate eggs while B slept. When he got up I decided not to prompt him but to see what he would do if he found them. The first two that he stumbled upon didn't have much impact other than delight him from the candy aspect. After he found the third one you could see something click in his face as he started deliberately searching everywhere. I wish it had been warmer outside because a sugar-fueled Brenden is a dangerous weapon when unleashed indoors.

We didn't go to the Easter egg hunt that we had gone to last year because I was extremely sore from yardwork I did on Saturday. Mostly it involved pulling up the horrid plastic edging, and digging trenches in preparation for laying brick edging to replace it. My hands were cramping so bad Saturday night I could barely open or close Brenden's sippy cups. What did I watch? Nothing of consequence. I watched some pre-season baseball and I must say I am happy to see Tom Glavine back in a Brave's uniform. So are a lot of Mets fans, I'll bet.

Lo Pan is not Pleased

Lo Pan is not pleased, originally uploaded by Mosd.

Yesterday was Don't be a Douchebag blog-a-thon day. The requirement was to write about something in the world of film that fills you with complete and total unbridled ****ing retarded JOY. Since I've blogged about good movies, bad movies, favorite actors, favorite characters, favorite character actors, imaginary boyfriends, flesh-eating zombies, and James Bond I think the fact that I'm totally retarded when it comes to movies is fairly obvious.

I am both equally proud and embarrassed by my taste in things.

Hey! My brother is blogging again (about damn time) so here's his new blog: The Check is in the Mail. He's a complete retard when it comes to movies too, so maybe he'll be blogging about them soon.

Fixed the link to bro's blog. Doh!

Pirate face: ARRR!

Pirate face: ARRR!, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

What I'm Watching:

Resident Evil: Extinction Better than the second one but I'm not saying much. If you like Milla Jovovich you'll like this movie because there's a lot of her. Yes that's a pun but it's not what you think. Actually it is entertaining but I just can't think of much to say about it.

Grindhouse Presents:Planet Terror Robert Rodriguez has the perfect eye for shlock and I always love his movies that tend towards horror (From Dusk Till Dawn and The Faculty). Unfortunately I can't unreservedly recommend this movie because of the death of a child (note to filmmakers: just pretend kids don't exist in horror milieus). Other than that awful misstep all I can say is ZOMG is this movie insane. It's kind of a flesh-eating zombie movie although those affected by the disease aren't really zombies. Those afflicted look pustule-covered super-nasty and when hit with bullets or cars they explode redly. Actually those who weren't afflicted exploded real good too. I can't properly describe the plot (not that it's important) but it's as outrageous as the special effects. I was impressed by the cast: Rose McGowan, Bruce Willis, Naveen Andrews (as a testicle-collecting sleazebag chemical engineer REALLY!), Jeff Fahey and Micheal Biehn (as brothers! Brilliant!), and Tom Savini (who sadly does more acting than makeup effects nowadays).

One bonus: before the proper movie starts we see a preview for a sadly non-existent film called Machete with Danny Trujillo. It's a blaxploitation movie except with Mexicans. Mr. Rodriguez: I would pay good money to see it for real!

Life Okay, I'm hooked. I was wrong about the entire mystery surrounding Crews' incarceration being solved. He only discovered who had done the actual murders he was framed for. He hasn't found the actual framers although he has some ideas. I like how he literally threw the Zen shit out the window when he went in persuit of the killer (unfortunately he retrieved it at the end of the ep). He slipped out of his cheerfull oddball demeanor as he tracked the bad guy down and I finally got a feel for Charlie the ex-con. Also unfortunately the writers tend to put anvils in their script (one character says Charlie went into prison innocent but didn't leave innocent which left me thinking no shit, Sherlock). TV writers are even worse than movie writers in underestimating the intelligence of their audience. Still, I'm looking forward to a full season of anvils, exasperated partners, and redheaded goodness in the Fall.

American Idol Yeah, I have to make some comments. Is Ryan Seacrest doing metamphetamines? I expect him and Simon Cowell to trade punches sometime within the next few episodes. Actually I'd enjoy that. As for the singers I don't really care. I like Jason Castro but has anyone but me noticed he looks like a Paul Ruebens with dreadlocks? Seriously.

A Trip to the Zoo

Meerkat, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

We spent this last weekend in Nashville. Jon was going to the Baker's School of Aeronautics to take his pilot's instrument rating written exam, and he thought we all ought to go. I dug up some info on things to to in that section of town so Brenden and I could keep busy while Jon was in class.

We drove up early Saturday, and I was happy to note the trip up to Nashville is not too bad a drive. We were in the outskirts in just under 2 hours. We stopped at Shoney's and had the breakfast bar (and did that bring back memories of college) then dropped Jon off. First I found a mega- Walmart and B and I did some leisurely shopping (diapers and socks for B, cough meds for Jon, and of course a toy that B chose). We went to the Nashville Railroad museum afterwards and I was disappointed. Go to the one in Chattanooga, it's awesome. B didn't care, he loved it but was upset he couldn't climb on the train cars parked nearby. Still, he was good to me all day.

The only sore part of the trip (and I do mean physically sore - I am so out of shape since the operation) came when I was pulling away from the museum and realized the tire was flat. I changed it and that was that but it was irritating. I had to leave B strapped in his seat and he couldn't see me all the time so he cried. I felt bad about that.

By that time it was mid-day so B and I went to MacDonald's for lunch. I decided we'd check into the hotel early and B and I had a nice long nap. Since B had fallen asleep in the car he woke up in the hotel room not knowing where he was and he freaked out a little until he realized I was there with him. We watched Scooby-Doo until it was time to pick up Jon. We ate at a Chinese Buffet then went back to the hotel room. B was rambunctious while Jon was trying to study;I wish we had spent a little more on a hotel with an indoor pool but then again he wasn't that bad.

Sunday was much better. After dropping off Jon B and I went to the Nashville Zoo at Grassmere. It wouldn't open for a few hours so I hunted down a MacDonald's with a children's play area and we successfully killed time there first. B plays with anyone who will play with him so he enjoyed himself immensely.

The zoo was fun and I took many pictures, including the nifty Meerkat in the pic above. I wish I were creatively funny; this pic is just begging for a lolcat caption. But anyway it was cold so not all of the animals were out. We didn't get to see the elephants and giraffes, but we saw all kinds of wild kitties, monkeys, birds and pigs. Brenden had the most fun in the indoor exhibition of turtles, iguanas, snakes, bats, and insects. He just went nuts at those exhibits.

By the time Jon texted me to pick him up it was early afternoon and B was getting punchy. He lasted 2 minutes in the van and then fell dead asleep and he didn't wake up until we were about 10 minutes away from the house. We had a fun trip and Brenden was mostly well-behaved (for Brenden).

I so ignored the news I didn't know about the Tornadoes hitting Atlanta until later Sunday. I was glad to see Helly and Alan reporting in unscathed; I hope everyone else is ok, as well.

An amazingly long post about Television:

Hypno Bob, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I think I've mentioned this before: I was a fan of Wiseguy, one of the first series to have story arcs. I remember the producers of the show met with resistance on that format because the Network was afraid new viewers wouldn't watch if they didn't know what was going on. Wiseguy's story arcs would be 6-12 episodes followed by 2 or 3 standalones. The show fizzled out after 2 or 3 seasons but I don't think it was the format (yes, I'm looking at you, Ken Wahl!).

The X-Files blew that door off the hinges, as did Buffy the Vampire Slayer and now just about every show has an arc of some sort and all I can say is HALLELUJAH! I grew up watching T.V. in the 70's where all characters were static from episode to episode. They didn't have much backstory nor did they grow; they never had indelible marks on their psyches when their love got blowed up or shot (like the amnesia plot, and the evil twin plot, the death of a loved one plot is in the Plot-o-matic Rolodex {I guess it's been ported to software by now}).

I told you that to tell you this:

I have always had a love-hate relationship with Television: it can accomplish so much more in a series than a movie could ever dream of - for instance Terminator II used the phrase "Judgement Day" but you never had enough time when the action started to think about the ramifications of that phrase. In the new series you start seeing all the religious parallels especially as people who are pulled into the Connors' story start believing in cyborgs from the future - I know the bible didn't mention a Robot Holocaust in Revelations, but it'll do, won't it?

The hate part is that television so rarely does accomplish more and usually simply sucks eggs. Every once in a while you get lucky though. I pointed out to someone recently that when I give my love to a show it can be embarrasingly unconditional. I ran out of SCC episodes to watch last weekend and so I finally watched 2 more episodes of Life I had tucked away on my TiVo (bear with me, this is all connected).

Despite the show starring Damian Lewis, I managed to miss most of the first-run episodes for a really dumb reason. They weren't closed-captioned, and with a raging 2 year-old in the house, I might as well be hearing-impaired. I also have to admit I wasn't that impressed. Now I'm kinda sorry I didn't watch the whole first season (11 eps) - the writers have toned down Charlie's quirkiness and I've come to like both main characters. All I can say is thank goodness for TiVo and Amazon UnBoxed: I'll be able to finish out the series before season 2 starts this fall (hooray for NBC!).

Most people are comparing this show to House but I'm still sticking to my Veronica Mars theorem, even more now because I found out the mystery of who set up Charlie for the multiple murders is discovered by the end of Season 1. I loved the Veronica Mars format of one major mystery per season intersped with the "case of the week". I think it nicely balanced the need for a week-to-week connection with the characters versus standalone episodes to draw new viewers in.

Life is on one level a standard cop show. Lewis's character, Charlie Crews, is your basic Brilliant Detective, but in the few episodes I've seen, I like that he tends to ferret out clues to the mystery-of-the-week through sheer bulldoggedness as opposed to making Batman vs. the Riddler quantum-leap connections between two ephemerally related crime-scene objects (although sometimes Crews does that too). But I'm starting to like the character, who, after 12 years in the slammer, is a little off. Kind of the way a cat would be off if you locked it in a room for 4 weeks with about 100 alarm clocks that were set to randomly blare every day.

His partner, Dani Reese (hey I don't make these names up - I just report them), has a fine set of drug and alcohol related problems herself but spends most of the time playing put-upon straight-man to Charlies antics and the rest of the time keeping him anchored when he gets out of control. I'm liking her, too. She's starting to be more well-rounded than a lot of female characters who are not the center of a show (if they make the show more central to both Crews and Reese in season 2 I think it will be a major improvement).

Look, I'd be lying if I said that I don't find Damian Lewis to be amazingly attractive and that's the major reason I'm giving the show another try. I haven't given it my unconditional love yet, I have 4 more episodes to go in this season, but I want to. We'll see how it turns out. In the meantime, Lewis's hair is even more awesomly red in high-def. I'm just saying.

One more PS: have you noticed I'm watching more T.V.? It's because most of the movies I want to watch are too violent for Brenden. I need to watch SOMETHING! I will gladly take any suggestions for t.v. series to watch.

Find the raisin in the picture

raisinboy, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Hey, I got tagged, and I have a short middle name: Linn.

L is for 'Lazy': If I had a million dollars, like Peter from Office Space, my fondest wish would be to do NOTHING. Actually I'd need about 7 million bucks - some to tuck away into investments and then a couple of million to buy some beach front property on a certain Caribbean island. Then I would DRINK BEER and DRAW FLIES for the rest of my life.

I is for 'Independent': I hate relying on other people. This gets me into trouble more than I would have thought.

N is for 'Nearsighted': No longer in the myopic sense thanks to surgery, but still in the spiritual sense. I can't see 3 days in front of me unless I really try. The fact that Jon and I have managed to put away almost 20K in an emergency fund is a damned miracle.

N is for 'Nerd': I'm a software developer. My favorite TV show is Battlestar Galactica. I can quote all of Hudson's lines from Aliens. My wardrobe is 75% tee-shirts and blue jeans with the other 25% being things I never wear. I started a flame-war almost 15 years ago about a minor character on the X-Files (I wasn't deliberately being a troll, though). My nerd creds are impeccable.

I tag no one, for they have all been tagged.

What I'm watching:

The In-Laws: I watched the version with Alan Arkin and Peter Falk (1979), not the one with Michael Douglas and Albert Brooks (2003). I have fond memories of a triumvirate of comedies from the late 70's / early 80's and this movie is the second one I've watched recently. The first was "S.O.B." which didn't hold up as well and the third is "Hopscotch" which I haven't watched yet but is in the queue. I can't compare the old version to the remake, but Roger Ebert's review was enough to convince me I haven't missed anything (no sock puppet?!!? WTF?).

The movie still works because Peter Falk's earnest nutbag CIA agent plays so well off of Alan Arkin's put-upon dentist. Can anyone do put-upon as well as Arkin can? I don't think so. The wierder things get the funnier his expression is. For instance, there's one scene where he's in a small jet and is listening to safety instructions in Chinese (James 'Lo Pan' Hong, always fun). The Chinese instructions are funny, but Arkin's thousand-yard WTF stare is what makes you laugh. And if anyone ever yelled "Serpentine! Serpentine!!" at you, this is where it originated.

Turtle Butts

Turtle Butts, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

What I'm Watching / Reading:

Because of my downtime from this frakkin cold, I was finally able to peruse Jane Epsenson's blog. Ms. Espenson is a T.V. writer who is most well-known for writing for Joss Whedon's shows (Buffy, Angel, Firefly). Among the current shows, she writes for Battlestar Galactica so you can understand why I was delighted to discover her blog. It covers two topics: 1) writing for television, especially how to go about doing so, and 2) what she had for lunch (mercifully one or two sentences an entry). I especially enjoy it when she talks about "clams" (over-used jokes) and "pipe" (exposition). I've become insanely aware of exposition in stories and "laying pipe" is a perfect term for that process.

Shoot Em Up: This movie is in the same category as Snakes on a Plane in the sense of there's truth in its advertising: it has a lot of people being shot up, just like Snakes on a Plane had snakes on a plane. Clive Owen plays the same kind of straight-faced badass nobody he played in the vastly superior Sin City but he gets to keep his accent somewhat. What made me die laughing about this movie is it has an anti-gun message. Seriously, at the end of the movie we get sermons about the evils of private gun ownership. I haven't seen a dead body count this high in a movie since maybe Commando, or a John Woo Hong Kong gangster epic! I felt like I was watching some serious hardcore porn when all of a sudden right in the middle of some gang-banging action (in the old-fashioned sense of gangbang) the fornicating actors all of a sudden start preaching about how important abstinence is. Worth a watch if you like Clive Owen or Paul Giamatti, or are just super-seriously bored.

Boogie Nights: Speaking of porn - I have a tough time believing that this movie is already 10 years old. This movie brought director Paul Thomas Anderson to my attention. It's an epic about the rise and fall of a porn star during the late 70's - early 80's with an amazing cast: Marky Mark, Burt Reynolds, Heather Graham, Julianne Moore, William H. Macy, and a boatload more of "hey, it's that guy!" actors (Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Don Cheadle, Luiz Guzman, Alfred Molina). I caught it on the Independent Film Channel and it's like the 3rd time I've watched it. I don't know what fascinates me about this movie - it's about a bunch of stupid porn people (and I do mean not very bright), but they are a tight-knit circle of friends/family and I end up feeling some sympathy for them. Oh, hey! Thomas Jane's in it too. His hair is almost as amusing as Ben Affleck's was in Dazed and Confused, another remarkable movie about the 70's. Highly recommended.

The Independent Film Channel showed a Paul W.S. Anderson movie just after that one: Shopping, a horrifically bad, bad movie with Jude Law and Sadie Frost (I should make a joke about how the movie ends up as messy as their marriage did, but that would be wrong). I hope the programmers were just having fun and didn't confuse Paul "Magnolia" Anderson with Paul "Resident Evil" Anderson.

Meet the Robinsons: We're watching more kid-friendly movies (not that you could tell). This computer-animated cartoon is a misfire: it was too chaotic with uninteresting and cliche characters. I think this movie is the one that convinced Disney to leave the cartoons to Pixar.

Lost Dear producers: we do not need any more episodes displaying just what how perverted, pathetic, and psychotic Ben is. We get it. Kill him. Kill him now.

Judgement Day

Terminator, originally uploaded by avalokist.

And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts
And I looked and behold, a pale horse
And it's name it said on him was Death
And Hell followed with him.

Okay now. How in the hell could I enjoy a T.V. show any more than one that features Terminators? Have the climax of the season-ender feature F.B.I agents raining down on a motel pool to the tune of Johnny Cash's "Man Comes Around". Good stuff! And will Fox, the network that killed Firefly before it got a chance, renew? I'm not holding my breath.

Smile

smile, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I believe the sinus infection has left but my allergies are raging. I quit getting shot\taking drugs for allergies when I was diagnosed with cancer for no other reason than apathy. Now that I know my tits aren't going to kill me (yet) I'm going to reboot my allergy treatment program starting tomorrow with a doctor's appointment.

Letter to Brenden Month 33:

Brenden, you are asserting your independence. When I say independence, I mean you are refusing to do anything we ask you to do. If this letter doesn't sound as light-hearted as normal, it's because this last weekend we were leaving the grocery store, and on the way to the van you decided to run from me and dart between two parked cars. I told you to stop and come back to me, and you got THAT LOOK on your face. I dropped the groceries and took off when you did, but you got about a foot past the other side of the parked cars before I grabbed your collar. You skidded on the asphalt and you started crying, I started crying, my hair greyed a little bit more and I had a myocardial infarction. What if a car had been coming? What if the driver was an asshole who likes to go 35 mph in a parking lot?

Being a parent sometimes is a never-ending series of what-if nightmares. The rest of the time you get to sit there and think about how inadequate, ill-equipped and uneducated you are. I hope I have some fun things to talk about next month, B.

The Terminator

The Terminator, originally uploaded by Dunechaser.

What I'm Watching: I have been itching to watch Terminator since The Sarah Connor Chronicles hooked me, and I watched it last night on a Blu-Ray disk. That movie, originally released in the Fall of 1984, brings back many memories. I saw it in a theater and remember loving it. I remember, in college, trying to convince a friend to watch it who wouldn't because she didn't like the idea that Sarah was valuable only because she gave birth to John Connor. I tried to explain to her that Sarah meant a lot more than that: if John had been raised by someone else he would not have led any resistance. She never did watch it. I remember I had taped it off of HBO and I pretty much wore the video out because it was my go-to movie when I wanted to watch something but didn't have anything new (until I got ahold of James Cameron's next movie: Aliens).

Terminator is still a good movie. The haircuts and the low-budget effects ($ 6.5 million - even in '84 movie terms that's low budget) date it some, but the story is still effective. And everyone is so young! Linda Hamilton, Arnold Swarzenegger, Micheal Beihn,.. hell, even Lance Henriksen, Paul Winfield, and Earl Boen! I have a hard time thinking that this movie is almost 25 years old.

The biggest difference, I think, between the Terminator franchise and the Alien franchise is the Terminator has much more story to mine. Alien took a left turn into a big mound of cow manure during the first 2 minutes of Alien3 and never got any better. Like I have said - Terminator 3 wasn't bad and the new TV show has been outstanding.

Of course I shiver a little with news of Terminator 4: it's the story of the aftermath of Judgement Day (so I have to wonder: is this new movie going to take into account / going to be taken into account by SCC? If so then poor Sarah and John are doomed to failure, yet again). The bad news is that McG (yep, that's his name. He should change it to McLovin) is directing. He did the Charlie's Angels movies (bleh). The good news is Christian Bale is playing John Connor, so there's a reason to watch. No, Arnold is not going to be in the movie, and I have no problem with his omission. Many different T-Models exist, after all.

Busy B

Busy B, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Brenden asked me to take him to see his dad on Saturday afternoon. Actually he said "Dada (unintelligable) truck (mumble) now". I asked him if he wanted to go see dada, and he said "Yeah, mama!" So I called Jon and sure enough he wasn't busy (cloudy and cold) so we went and hung around the drop zone for several hours. Brenden brought two of his battery-powered trains (Thomas and Arthur). Another couple had their almost-4 year-old daughter with them who started coveting Brenden's trains. B actually likes sharing his trains because he has more fun if he plays with someone so he let her use one and they had a loud, shrieking , fun, blast.

Sunday Brenden asked me if we could go outside (he just walked to the front door, pointed to it and said "out"). I said "It's too cold" but he found a pair of his pants and put them on himself and tried to open the front door. (Note: he has never put his pants on by himself before. He pretends to not know how). I finished dressing him and we went out and it wasn't too bad. I started raking leaves and he helped by picking leaves up and putting them in a small trash basket I use to transport rakings to the big 'lawn refuse' barrel. He got tired of helping after a while so he decided to start spreading the leaves around instead. Still, we lasted a couple of hours and I didn't have to constantly chase him because he was heading for the street. I am naively hoping I can actually do something about our mud flat front lawn this year.

Also on Sunday, B decided it was funny to pull my pants down. He knows better, now.

What I'm reading: I'm still chewing my way through Quicksilver, but I took a detour with a book Alan recommended to me World War Z which was written by the same guy who wrote the Zombie Survival Guide. Good fun flesh-eating zombie fanfic recounting a world-wide zombie infestation through the stories of the men and women who survived and fought in it.

What I'm watching: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End You know for a bunch of pirates they don't do much pirating. They betray each other a lot - I guess that's the rogue portion of the equation. This DVD was the first Blu-Ray disc I have watched and I must say the visuals were breath-taking. Too damn bad there was no PIRATING! And not enough Chow Yun-Fat. Arr!

What I will never watch, not in a million, billion years: Frank Daranbont directed 2 of the best movies based on Steven King novels, The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile. I will never, ever, ever, see the movie The Mist, however. I was debating putting it on my Netflix queue but after I read a review I knew I had better find a spoiler. I did and even the spoiler upset me so bad I almost cried! I'm going to post a relatively vague but important spoiler in the comments in case anyone is wondering what I'm talking about.

Three guys playing

Three guys playing, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I'm about to go to a doc appointment about my sinuses. I noticed that half the people listed in my phone book are doctors.

What I'm watching:

American Idol Even Jon is getting bored.

Sarah Connor Chronicles If this show maintains its excellence, then my two favorite shows will feature bad robots. How cool is that?

S.O.B A funny, but somewhat dated Blake Edwards film from the 70's. Featuring Julie Andrew's boobies. SRSLY!

Blades of Glory Very silly with some good laughs. IOW a typical Will Ferrell movie.

Dirty Jobs One of the most terrifying shows, ever. Or at least nauseating. I love it! the geoduck farming episode left me particularly ill and flabbergasted.

BLEH

bleh, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Short bits:

Yes, the Christmas tree is finally down.

Brenden has a set of foam letters he plays with when he's taking a bath. Last night Jon mixed them all up and stuck them on the wall next to the bathtub, and asked Brenden to find letters, starting with "A". "Can you find the A, Brenden? Where's the A?". As Brenden would pull a letter off the wall, Jon would sit the letter upright on the rim of the tub. B had a few misses, but he only needed real help with like 5 or 6 letters. Maybe I'm dreaming, but maybe Brenden is going to be a reader, like me! Oh, I hope. I have so many books I think he'd love.

Our DVD player bought the farm. Which means we need to buy a new one! Since we have an HD TV we should get one of them new-fangled Hi Def players. It looks like Blu-Ray is the winner in the format wars, but I'm still scared of buying the Betamax 8-track player.

I just deleted 5 paragraphs of boring politics.

Lost is back, and so far Ben has been beaten up 3 times in 2 episodes. Jon wants the losties to just kill him already, but I'd like to see more Ben abuse before he's disposed of, preferably by feeding him bit-by-bit to a polar bear.

American Idol is back as well, unfortunately. The audition weeks are always train wrecks and after the choices are narrowed down to 24 it gets really boring, but I kind of like the Hollywood week where they take the people who made the auditions and put them through the meat grinder. Unfortunately the producers narrowed down the amount of episodes dedicated to this process the last couple of seasons.

I saw half of Pathfinder and despite the general critical dislike I am enjoying it. Once I see the rest of it I'll comment more but it's always nice to see Clancy Brown doing something other than cartoon voices (not that there's anything wrong with that!).

"Mama, are you?"

smile3, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

What I'm Watching
The Farmer Astronaut Or was that the Astronaut Farmer? Anyways, plot is family man, ex-aerospace engineer, designs and builds his own rocketship and meets a lot of resistance. Awfully contrived. I mean, did the screenwriter ever hear of Burt Rutan? Do some research!

Letter to Brenden Month 33
Whoo boy you won't shut up! I love it (mostly)! You have fully engaged your imagination gears (and if you inherited my imagination you're in for a lot of fun), and I enjoy watching you play with your trains while you narrate the action "Ono, homa wook ou!" (oh no, Thomas, Look out!) then you crash your trains together. I really enjoy it when you narrate a Spongebob episode to me:

"Wook mama Bobob go!" (Look, mother; Spongebob is running!)
"Bobob patree wheee!" (Spongebob and Patrick are sliding down a rope!)
"Bobob ow ow ow! Foo foo foo" (Spongebob and Patrick have rope burns on their hands! {blows on hands})

I also am amused (sometimes) when you get up at one in the morning and say "Mama, are you? Mama, are you?" It's much nicer than your old yowling (not that you don't do that, especially when I say "It's one in the morning! Get back to bed!") Everything is also "Yes, mama" or "No mama" when I ask you questions. That;s nice.

The "Mama, Joos!" then winging your sippy-cup at my face has got to stop there, bud. At least say "please"!

Mr. Quackquack's Beer

Mr. Quackquack's Beer, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Ugh. I still haven't totally gotten off of meds but I'm getting there. I've been listless and headachey lately.

What I'm Reading
I finally read a Neal Stephenson book, and I chose Cryptonomicon, which takes place both during World War II and pre-911 present day (it was published originally in 1999). Much, but not all, of the action centers around British and American code-breakers and some commandos who carry out odd missions whose entire job seems to entail preventing the Germans from finding out that their codes have been broken. We also see some pacific-side action involving the Japanese occupation of the Phillipenes (yeesh!). Most of the present-day action involves a computer nerd who, along with his ultra-paranoid business partner, is trying to set up some computer-related businesses in the Phillipenes. I'm barely scratching the surface of the plot. Although it is a little long-winded, Stephenson has two things going for him. I loved the main characters, and I could tell because I cried when I found out one of them died, and I also cried when I found out one of them lived. The other thing is he has a sense of humor that Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett would be proud of.

So right now, to punish myself, I have started Stephenson's The Baroque Cycle, a three volume story that makes Cryptonomicon come across like a Nancy Drew mystery (in terms of length and complexity).

What I'm Watching
I finally started watching The Sarah Connor Chronicles. How could I not? I love the first movie with a mad passion (I like the second movie, and I didn't think the third one was bad). So far I'm not complaining. John Connor's kind of whiny but hell he's a 15 year-old boy so that's to be expected. The actor who took over the Sarah Connor role is good - she does a good tough mom without going over the top (like Linda Hamilton did in the second movie). Summer 'River Tam' Glau plays Cameron (ha ha!), the Terminator sent back to protect John. Glad to see she's getting more work. I enjoyed Firefly and wish it had lasted longer. As for the storyline: The nice thing about mucking about in the timestream is you can change things around plausibly. For instance - in the third movie we find out from John that Sarah died of cancer. In the series this isn't overlooked and they get around it in an acceptable manner.

Superbad
Damn what a funny movie. Kind of hard to watch. It involves three eighteen-year-old dorks trying to buy booze so that they can have sex with drunk girls. The three dorks look like they should be slamming back Mountain Dew and playing Dungeons and Dragons in their parent's basement. Damn funny but I felt like I needed to send my brain out for dry-cleaning after watching it.