Every day Mini-Jon kicks are stronger. He was pretty active when I woke up this morning and Jon got a good feel of his movements. Now I'm amusing myself by trying to actually see my belly poke up when he moves but so far I haven't seen anything.

I had my first pregnancy-induced moment of clumsiness yesterday. I slipped on a comforter and came down flat on my ass. Fortunately there was a futon between me and the floor otherwise that would have hurt a bunch. I was just scared.

I'm sleeping well and adjusting to sleeping on my side. Sometimes my hips ache but it's nothing serious. Yet. I had an omigod moment this morning when I realized it's almost the end of February and March/April/May are the last 3 full months of my pregnancy. Yikes!

Unfortunately my ramblings are probably going to be more and more centered on my pregnancy. It seems to be an obsession shared by all pregnant women - and considering my body is a perambulating baby machine right now, I can see why.

I do have one non pregnancy related thing to share: The death of a hero. I linked to a blog because the news link was to the New York Times, which requires registration. Bleah!

Courtesy of my brother, who needs to update his blog:

An Asian was trying to exchange yen for dollars at a US bank ...

He says to the clerk, "Yestoday I get two hunat dollah fo yen, today I get one hunat eighty, why it change?"

Clerk shrugs and says, "Fluctuations."

Asian guy fires back, "Fluc you white guys too!"

Huge, theatrical sigh. While as a states rights advocate I can't blame the court for not wanting to hear the case, it really is annoying that this is a law here in Alabamastan. We have a problem here with state funds, and some busybody lawmaker is worried that someone is going to buy an artificial vagina.

So if you live here and are absolutely jonesing for a fake johnson, you will be reduced to buying it mail order. So much for some small businesses and the jobs and revenue they generate.

Jon finally got to feel the baby move Monday night. Pretty nifty. Mini-Jon was doing the Can-Can in my belly after we ate dinner. I guess he likes stir-fry.

We watched American Idol Monday and Tuesday. My favorite Monday was Bo Bice while Jon preferred Scott Savol. I agree Scott has an amazing voice, but he is in need of an extreme makeover stat. We agreed Tuesday on Carrie Underwood. Even if she loses, someone will make a lot of money signing her to a contract in Nashville.

The ob/gyn appointment went well; I really like the woman doc. She had depression when she was pregnant, too; she was telling me stories of her troubles and it made me feel better talking with someone who has been there and done that. If I can't get my own doc when I go into labor, she is my 2nd choice by far. With my luck I'll get the grumpy bastard who thought I just wanted drugs.

If I really had the money I'd buy one of those fetal heart monitors and listen to the kid's heartbeat all day.

Looks like today is random thought day. I'd like to close with a pirate joke I lifted from a friend:

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender notices that the pirate has a steering wheel attached to his private parts. The bartender asks the pirate "Sir, are you aware that there's a steering wheel attached to your private parts?" And the pirate replies, "Arrrrr! Aye, and it's driving me nuts!"

jon,sandy, aidan

jon,sandy, aidan
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

No, this isn't a photo from the future. 2 weekends ago our pilot Rick brought his family out and the baby is his son, Aidan. Jon got a kick out of playing with him.

The kid's head is big, isn't it?

Week 24:

I am starting to waddle and the kid is moving around a lot. The baby books say I'll need to start keeping track of his movements soon because the lack of movement can be a sign of 'fetal distress'.

Is it my imagination, or is everything out there about pregnancy and childbirth designed to make an expectant mom feel guilty? I pass a billboard on highway 31 between Hartselle and Decatur that says "Children were born to be breastfed". I told Jon about this nice message and he read me the riot act, telling me not to try to live up to other people's expectations. I love my husband for moments like this.

I have another ob/gyn monthly appointment where I'll get to meet the last of the doctors in the group. This doc is the only woman doc on staff. I still hope I get my original doc when the moment of truth arrives. I'm just most comfortable with him and Jon likes him too. Jon wasn't impressed with the other doc he met and neither was I.

I'll also be scheduling the 26 week 4D ultrasound. I know we already had one, but I can't get enough of looking at the little fella.

The weekend went fine; I had a bad sinus headache Sunday so I took sudafed (which is 'allowed') and it knocked me out. I woke up around 1 and Jon was fighting with Big Fat Kitty for mattress space. So I picked the cat up and put him outside the bedroom and shut the door on him. I don't think he was happy about it because when I got up this morning he meowed my ears off. I think he was offended.

Oh! New review or two. I have to agree with my editor: the Ray review was kind of disjointed. I think I rushed it. On the other hand, it should be painfully obvious I'm more comfortable voicing an opinion on genre movies.

I think Mini-Jon had hiccups this morning. I also think he's still laying sideways because I felt the movements simultaneously on both sides of my belly. Naturally he stopped before I could get to Jon and let him see if he could feel it.

Just because I'm bored -


The Way I Cook:

Here's my recipe for General Cho's Chicken. I will give step-by-step instructions of how I cook:

6-7 boneless, skinless chicken thighs cubed. If you can't find boneless skinless chicken thighs at your grocery store it sucks to be you. Use chicken breasts, but lower the cooking time. Or you can debone and skin the thighs yourself. Again, it sucks to be you.

7-8 tablespoons cornstarch, made into a batter with one egg white and a little water. Too thin: add more cornstarch. Too thick: add a little water.

2-3 tablespoons soy sauce

1 tablespoon peanut oil

Put all these ingredients into a bowl. Let it sit for a while as you heat up a bunch of oil for frying. I like to use an iron dutch oven, because when you put things in it for frying, the temperature doesn't fluctuate. Put heat on medium high.

Cook the chicken in small batches for about 7-8 minutes. You might need to separate the pieces once you drop the pieces in or they might stick together. Drain on paper towels and transfer to even more paper towels on a baking sheet in a 200 degree oven.

Start cooking rice. This is how I cook it on an electric range: 1 cup long grain rice to 1 1/2 cup of water and a pinch of salt. Set pan to high and when it starts boiling, put lid on and set heat to lowest setting. Do not molest the rice for 20 minutes. Take off of heat and leave the pan alone for another 5- 10 minutes. Never at any point during cooking should you mess with the lid. Don't do it, I say. After 30 minutes total you are free to take the lid off and eat the rice.

While the rice is cooking:

2-3 cloves garlic
1 knob of fresh ginger, about the same mass as the garlic.

Dice these finely and set aside.

2 bunches green onions

Clean, separate green from white, cut green into pieces 2-3 inches long. Save the white parts for something else.

1 1/2 cups chicken stock
3 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons corn starch
1 tablespoon Huy Fong chili sauce
1 tablespoon sugar (or splenda, other artificial sugar sucks for cooking)
1 tablespoon rice wine vinegar
1 tablespoon sesame seed oil

Combine and stir well. Sometimes I add a tablespoon of szechuan sauce if I can find it.

Heat 2 tablespoons of peanut oil in a wok or big skillet on medium high. Dump chicken in then sprinkle with ginger and garlic. Your ginger and garlic will not burn as easy if something is in the pan first. Add the green onion and stir to heat. Eventually add the stock mixture and stir until thickened. Spoon on rice (if you start this process right after you take the rice off the heat [but are still leaving the lid alone] you will time everything just right).

As you might notice, MY General Cho's Chicken resembles in no manner the General Cho's chicken you find in Chinese restaurants. Too bad; this recipe was modified to my and my husband's tastebuds.

Valentine's Day seems to be the most despised non-holiday out there. Personally, it doesn't bother me, even when I didn't have anyone.

The trick, I think, is to not go hog-wild. For instance, I got my squeeze 2 cards(one from our cats), some candy (dark chocolate, which he adores), and a little stuffed tiger that growls and vibrates when you pull its string.

My honey got me a card and some pretty flowers. All told I think I spent $20 total. See? Nothing insane, just a few hokey (and very appreciated) "I'm thinking of you" things.

Instead of going out to dinner, I made General Cho's chicken, which is Jon's favorite. We watched "Spider-Man II", a nice romantic film for the evening. No, I'm not kidding. Jon had a rough day yesterday (business related) so he made himself some tasty frozen alcoholic beverages and got hammered. We tried to watch "24" after the movie, but Jon fell asleep so we'll watch it tonight I suspect.

I woke up Jon this morning by putting the stuffed tiger on his face and pulling the string. Jon was more amused than I thought he'd be.

We have figured out our weight training set conundrum. Currently it resides in the room earmarked for Mini-Jon. We will be moving it (or rather, he'll be moving it) to the dining room. Or table and chairs will probably be relegated to the room upstairs (the only room upstairs) which holds all of our leftover furniture.

My dad and his wife, Ileana, just bought us a BUTT-LOAD of furniture for the baby's room (thank you so much!) so we will need to make room as soon as possible.

Big Fat Kitty

BFK
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Ain't he cute? I figure we can put a little saddle and harness on him and mini-jon can ride him around the neighborhood. Okay maybe not.

Week 23

I had a great weekend, even though my chili didn't even place (whaa!). Oh, well. This way people know that the contest isn't fixed and it gives me impetus to refine my recipe for next year.

Sunday was rainy so I spent it at the drop zone reading The DaVinci Code, which was surprisingly enjoyable. Dan Brown's take on the Holy Grail reminded me of some of Tim Powers books, where he did extensive research and weaves facts and historical accounts into his stories. Brown isn't that good of a writer, but he did crack a fun yarn.

Powers, on the other hand, wrote a trio of books that I simply adore: The Anubis Gates, a time-travel story; On Stranger Tides (my favorite) with Pirates, Voodoo, and zombies; and The Stress of Her Regard about vampires (intensely original vampires, I might add) and 29th century Romantic poets.

The few people at the drop zone were pretty astounded because I finished a 400+ page book in a little under 6 hours. It's not like I was reading a treatise on thorax surgery! Reading for pleasure is such a lost skill. I don't read very much any more for pleasure, although I *do* forsee many Dr. Seuss books in the future...

I have 2 new reviews up, and I should have a 3rd up either today or tommorrow.

I feel good today. I am thinking some not-so-good thoughts, and I think it's because the weekend is coming up. Most of the bad crap seems to happen on the weekends.

Oh, well - I'm going to be defending my title as chili champion for the DZ's annual chili cookoff. I'm trying a completely different recipe based off of one I saw on "Good Eats". You know, I watch a lot of cooking shows, but that's the only show where I actually try recipes I've seen. TiVo rules; have I mentioned that before?

Happy Birthday to my favorite redheaded actor - his 34th. I'm hoping I might actually see him in something *new* this year - maybe BBC America will pick up "Escape from Colditz" soon. Or maybe Chromophobia will get an american release (not that it will ever be shown in north central Bumblefuck, Alabama) and I can drool over him *and* Ralph Fiennes. Not holding my breath.

Kitty

kitty
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Here's a pic of Big Fat Kitty. Fur Therapy is a big part of our lives, and he excels at it. I ought to know; every time I vacuum the house I throw away enough fur for 3 more cats.

More American Idol last night - they're still doing the weeding process. It is as I suspected; some of the chosen few were chosen for padding only to be cut in the judges minds before they could get going. For serious Drama Queenage you can't beat that show.

I feel really great today. I slept like a brick and actually had the energy to join Jon for a workout. I haven't been exercising lately - I quit when I started having athsma problems. It's so easy to be lazy. Anyway, I used light weights and felt good about it afterwards. The baby responded by doing some push-ups of his own.

Have I mentioned that I'm feeling him move? I can't remember if I did. At first I couldn't tell if it was the baby or intestinal rumbledge, but now it's obvious. He has given me a few really good hits in the last couple of days.

I read a story recently about a 26 week old baby who was removed from her mother because of preeclampsia and is just now going home from the hospital. I just hit the 23 week mark and every week that goes by I feel better about the kid's chances. I'd rather be closer to 36 weeks of course.

I don't think it's the Zoloft that's making me feel better, although I could be wrong. It usually takes a while before Zoloft takes effect. I am experiencing one side effect although as a pregnant woman I don't mind so much. Let's just say it's a common gastrointestinal side effect and leave it at that.

If it was Tuesday, it must have been reality TV night at the Maynard house. Looks like I'm stuck watching this season's "American Idol". Oh, well - it is fairly fascinating to hear all those ranges and styles of voices.

The real entertainment (if you want to call it that) came from a rerun of "Fear Factor" on the Game Show Network. Usually the stunts are fairly interesting and some of them look like fun - like getting into a car, making it jump over a train while spinning, and landing the furthest in a huge pile of cardboard boxes. Really! They did that last night!

But the eating contests. Who comes up with these? Do the producers ask their 6-year old kids to come up with the grossest things possible?

"Okay, dad! What you need to do is to like, make a milkshake out of maggots! Yeah! and then add MORE LIVE maggots into the ground up maggots! And they have to suck this mess out of a bowl, and blow the maggot milkshake into a cup with a big straw! And the big cup has to have LIVE FLIES in it!! And they have to fill the cup up with maggot milkshake to drown the flies, then they have to drink it ALL DOWN AGAIN FLIES AND ALL!"

I kid you not I saw four grown adults do that last night. The host of the show made references to some of the eating stunts on previous shows, which prompted me to tell my husband: "I'd rather eat a million bull testicles before I ate one cockroach."

How many times do you get to say *that* in a conversation?

Allrighty then! I'm feeling better today - best I've felt in a while. Harry Dean Stanton didn't spend much time in my head last night before I fell asleep, and I slept pretty good! My subconcious I think was riffing on the 80's B-actor thing and I had a dream featuring Peter Berg, Peter Weller, and Jodie Foster. Where the hell was Christian Slater in all this?

Emilio Esteves could have shown up and started dancing, so I should consider myself lucky.

As you can see by the counter, the baby is due in 120 days. I made the observation that that's one repack cycle (a reserve parachute has to be inspected and repacked every 120 days). That is *not* that long!

During that initial appointment, the LPN was reviewing a rather lengthy questionnaire I had to fill out before hand. I was trying to explain to her my train of thought when things got bad, and I realized I was describing it as 2 people having an argument.

And that's exactly it - it's not me having an imaginary argument with Jon, (had those too but these are way different). I described it yesterday here as being hectored, but not to the LPN. I tried to explain to her that I knew my mind was using the 2 people having an argument as a convenient tool for trying to work conundrums out. Most of the time it works, but in this case the arguments would leave me yelling "will you shut the fuck up?" out loud.

So I convinced her that I knew damn well that *I* was the source of both voices, and that no one was planting thoughts in my head. But still, I tried to attach a face to the voice on the drive back to work. For some reason I flashed on Henry Rollins during his Black Flag heyday, but that's wrong. This voice is more petulant, maybe Gary Oldman's version of Sid Vicious, but that's not right either. Too incoherent. R.Lee Ermey? Too loud. In the end, I had this image of Harry Dean Stanton, in a rumpled old overcoat, just sitting there on a stool in a seedy bar, smoking cigarrettes, and implacably reciting points out of a notebook until I couldn't stand it.

Great. I'm being haunted by Harry Dean Stanton. Then I flashed on Red Dawn where he's yelling "Avenge me, boys, AVENGE ME!!!" and I nearly ran my car on a sidewalk while I was giggling.

Most amusing quote I've read on a blog in a while:

"I would expect you to kill me, mom. You don't take chances with the undead. Duh."

If my son ever says this to me, I'll be so proud! *Sniff!*. Uh, please follow the link so you can put the quote in context.

A close runner-up is from Helly's blog:

"I'm smarter, I'm more malicious, I'm more evil and more to the point, I have a far better stereo system and lots of bagpipe CDs."

My initial appointment was a relief; I talked to an LPN who works for the psychiatrist I will be seeing. This first meeting was essentially a screening to see what could be done for me.

The LPN was very sympathetic and asked a lot of useful questions. She could empathize with some of what I'm going through, too; because she has 2 children of her own. I'm glad I chose a woman doctor - nothing against men I just think I may have held back.

She had the psychiatrist (also a woman, who I will be seeing in a few weeks) review her notes, and I am now on Zoloft. Normally I would resist medicating this problem, but I need something for control NOW while we work out our problems. Jon is going to go with me to see the LPN next week.

I forgot to mention: I have the greatest cat in the world. Well, it's Jon's cat. I fell asleep on the couch Saturday morning - totally exhausted from everything. I woke up a bit and felt Big Fat Kitty lying next to me all stretched out next to my upper body. I put an arm around him and hugged him gently and he didn't protest. We fell back asleep that way. If it wasn't for his issues with toilet paper he'd be perfect and I could clone him and sell copies of him for a tidy profit.

Week 22

There's someone in my head, but it's not me.

The weeks seem to be flying by. This is a good thing, of course. I wish the baby's movements were strong enough so that Jon could feel them.

The weekend was not good. I have no desire to go into details; let me just say I have given up trying to handle it by myself and am going to see a psychiatrist. Besides uncontrollable crying, I'm doing things that I simply can't imagine myself ever doing - even while doing them part of me keeps saying "what the hell is wrong with you?"

It really does feel like some stranger is stomping around in my mind, sifting through everything, and once in a while coming up with something that is complete horseshit, and declaring, "Aha! Here's something to get mad about!" and then proceeds to sit down and hector me (what is the etymology of that phrase?) for hours on end and tries to force me to do things to vindicate his ire. Hoo-boy does that sound a leetle bit nuts. I have a lot more empathy with mentally unstable people now. Not only is loss of control frightening, it is shameful and humiliating. And the collateral damage (my frickin' marriage!) is unacceptable. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist at 1. If the doc is as cool as the receptionist, I think I'll be okay.

And now for something completely different: my favorite ad during the superbowl was of course the Bud Light one where a jumpmaster throws a six-pack out the door to entice a reluctant skydiver and the pilot jumps out to chase it. *Heh.* Usually when I'm trying to get someone out the door I have a hold of him in the first place and if they're reluctant I wait for an off-balance moment then *oopsie!* I push and out we go.

I don't have much to post today, so I'll put up a few links and leave it at that:

This woman is a blogger after my own heart: she has started posting critiques of disaster movies, which currently include treatises on The Towering Inferno and Earthquake. Marjoe Gortner gives me the creeps, too.

Here is my latest review: Head in the Clouds. I'm saddled with another chick movie to review next.

Oh, in celebration of Alissa Rosenbaum's 100th birthday (which was yesterday), I will make a quasi-political post:

Yay, Iraqis! We can't get that kind of voter turnout here, and no one is threatening to blow our butts off. As you work on your constitution, keep one thing in mind: despite some gritching (would letting a Christian group meet on campus after school hours really violate this idea?), separation of Church and State is a damn fine idea. If you don't believe me, ask your neighbors, the Iranians. Or even the Saudis. Or the Afghanis.

Sandy and Nancy

SandN
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Not a vacation pic, but I found it while poking around. This was during my 40th birthday celebration. Jon arranged to have Nancy, Mark, Anthony, and Alan drop by. Best birthday ever!

Leo

Leo
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I'm so happy I found this photo. This is the little fella who lived at the villa. He was very sweet and happily volunteered every night to eat any leftover meat from dinner. The cat, not the thigh.

J & S in StThomas

JSStthomas
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Holy Crap! I'm smiling!!! No, look, look close! This pic is in Charlotte Amalie, in St. Thomas. A *great* place to go if your a shopping freak. Which I'm not.

Shut Up

Shut Up
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Quiet Mon Pub. A nifty place for a cold Guinness. They also have internet connections.

Steve and Sylvia

Steve and Sylvia
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Friends of John who shared the villa for a week with us. They're the ones who are waving, not the guy with his back turned.

Cruz Bay from way off

Cruz Bay from way off
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

A hill overlooking Cruz Bay, which is the main town/harbor on St. John. Someday I will learn to take good pictures.

Caravel Rock

Caravel Rock
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I wish this photo was brighter. This rock is a great dive spot as long as the tides aren't strong. The dive master said it got it's name because it resembles a caravel. Yeah, maybe after many rum punches. Yo ho ho.

St. John Dock

St. John Dock
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

This dock has changed since this photo. It has been marred by chain link fences as security measures. What a waste - any yahoo with a dinghy can circumvent the security measures on St. John. Why do you think these islands were such pirate havens? Lots and lots of little inlets to sneak around in.

Caneel Bay

Caneel Bay
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Deck of Villa

Deck of Villa
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Here's another view of the deck from inside the villa.

From the Deck

From Deck2
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Here is a composite of the view from the deck of our villa. Other than the power lines, it was a nice view.

Inside the Villa

Inside the Villa
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

This is the interior of Moonsong villa. It's fairly small, but decent for 2 people.

Honey & I

Honey & I
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Here are Jon and I on St.John in October, 2003. Despite the look on my face I love it there.