Yesterday was pretty bad. I was sleepy beyond any belief. It was so bad I drove home early from work and crashed on the Gravity Couch for a couple of hours. I refer to my couch in such a matter because I'm convinced the gravity is heavier on its cushions. Why else would people who sit on it eventually be pulled into a prone position? To prove my point, Big Fat Kitty came by to see if he could bug me for some pets. He crashed next to me. Then Jon came by to see if he could bug me for some pets. He crashed next to me, as well.

We got up eventually, and went to dinner at Roadhouse. Well, Kitty stayed home but I bet he would have liked the restaurant. We ended up at the theater to finally watch The Incredibles. In short, Pixar is 6 for 6.

Pixar has always been a creative studio; they really took a right turn here in terms of animation and story with the Incredibles, although they still managed to keep that melancholy but upbeat edge to their themes (fear of replacement in Toy Story, fear of loss in Finding Nemo, the tyranny of bullies in A Bug's Life, fear of the strange in Monsters, Inc). Here the theme *is* incredible for this day and age: societies' habit of beating down the extraordinary and the celebration of mediocrity (if everyone's special, then no one is).

The story concerns super heroes who have been put out of business because of lawsuits; it concerns 2 superheroes especially: Mr. Incredible and Elasti-girl. They have married and are living a quiet suburban life with their three children, also gifted with superhero powers but having to live normally. Mr. Incredible is slowly being crushed by a thankless job at an insurance company and he longs to be the hero he once was. Then an opportunity presents itself but it turns into a trap and the rest of the family has to discover (or re-discover) their abilities to go rescue dad. I really don't want to say more.

I'd rank this as up there with the Toy Story movies; as far as this year goes, I still like Spider Man II better but it blows everything else that I've seen this year out of the water.

Jon made the mistake of playing Galaga with me at the theater while we were waiting for the movie to start. I kicked ass at Galaga when I was in college. I still do pretty good.

Week 12

One more week and I'll officially start my second trimester. Woo-hoo! According to the books, I'll swell up like Violet Beauregard chewing on defective gum. I can no longer wear any of my normal pants without cutting off the circulation to my lower extremities.

This past week all I felt was sleepiness spiced with occasional dizzines and nausea. Nothing new, in other words. Oh, only one psychotic crying jag episode. Jon's been pretty understanding in that area.

Traffic school, fortunately, was a hoot. The man who taught it was entertaining so the three hours I spent in class on Saturday flew by fast. While I completely disagree with getting the ticket, I found the class interesting and informative.

The main thrust of the class was statistics. Like I said, kudos to the officer who taught the class who made statistics palatable. I didn't know this: the #1 cause of accidents is failure to yield. And the instructor emphasized: the leading factor that exacebrates this problem is speed. In other words, my accident is a perfect example of this statistic: I did not see this guy and pulled out in front of him. He was hauling ass on a road with a 35mph speed limit. Had he been going the speed limit, he most likely would have stomped on his breaks, screeched to a halt, and righteously honked and given me the finger. But we both would have driven away. Instead he was going about 60 and he slammed into me still going pretty damn fast. We were both lucky we *walked* away.

I'm also reminded of the time some yahoo pulled out in front of me. I was going slow enough to where when I hit this woman I was going about 5 miles an hour. Neither of us sustained damage to our car. The vast majority of the people there were there because of speeding tickets.

Another eye opener was exactly why traffic law enforcement occurs. I bitched about the greedy court system (and I'm still not happy with what they do), but they're greedy the same way a businessman is greedy: not because they want more money than they know what to do with but because they are trying to remain solvent. Alabama is going to be #1 this year for fatal accidents (on average for the population). The federal gas tax ($.36 per gallon) is doled out to the states by the government but only if the state meets certain requirements. One of those is a low fatality rate. Many counties in Alabama are not getting this revenue. The ones who are have pretty strict traffic enforcement in their area. Apparently there is a high correlation between enforcement (or lack thereof) and accidents.

Oh, hey: did you know it's illegal to be in reverse on a main road? In other words you can't back out of your driveway nor can you back up into it.

So anyway, the class was interesting, and it vindicated my approach to driving. I haven't driven after drinking since I was in my 20's (and I did that very infrequently), and I do not go over the posted speed limit too much ( 3-5 mph over generally, I try to pay attention more in residential areas). Jon bitches that I drive like an old woman and now I'm proud of it. Still pissed about the ticket though.

Well, that wasn't fun. It wasn't that bad, either. I received a court-appointed attorney, who essentially said I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell. The bright side is I'm taking a traffic school so the charge will be dismissed. Jon wasn't happy with me wussing out. I'm not completely happy either. At least this way it's not on my record nor my insurance.

Feh! Feh, I say!

Here's my whole criminal record:

1)Failure to yield while turning left - my fault; I got into a wreck. The other guy shouldn't have been speeding, but I shouldn't have pulled in front of him. This was a fair gig.

2)Driving w/an expired license. Again, a fair gig, but the thing that amuses me is I knew it was expired (by 3 days), and I had gone in that very morning to renew it. Whoops, they aren't open on Mondays. So guess which schmuck gets caught in a roadblock that very night?

3)Driving w/an expired registration. Again, I was guilty. It was someone else's car. So let this be a lesson to you! Check the tag before you drive someone else's vehicle.

That's it, ladies and germs. Yes, that's right; I have never received a speeding ticket. I did get a warning once.

Not much to say or do. One way or another that court thing will be out of the way tomorrow (at least, it better) so I have spent much of today thinking about what I'm going to say. I'll report on it once it's over and done with.

I was able to sleep 9 hours last night. I feel pretty good today; not as much sleepiness as usual. Can you tell I have nothing to write about? Jon is on a self-help kick and listening to a lot of books on the subject. I should listen too, except they put me to sleep. A butt nekkid british redhead would put me to sleep the way I feel now. Even if he offered me a footrub or volunteered to loofah my stretch marks in the shower. $.50 to whomever remembers what movie that's from.

Despite all the rest I got last night I had a flesh-eating zombie dream last night. Inside a mall, no less. I don't remember any details except, well, flesh-eating zombies in a mall. Why can't I have dreams about pirates? Seems that would be more fun. Arr.

Yay Condi Rice. I want her to go to Saudi Arabia, and I want her first words upon getting off the plane to be “I’ll drive.”

Lileks amuses me. Make sure you check out his new Interior Desecrations on his site.

Week 11

A note: This is the end of week 11, not the beginning. I have 2 more weeks to go before I enter the 2nd trimester. Then, according to all the books, I'll start growing in leaps and bounds. Hoo boy.

Nothing new to report in the symptom department. This weekend was tough because I worked both Saturday and Sunday at my real job to make up the day I'm going to lose Thursday when I go to court. I also did part of a Ground school on Saturday so rest time was difficult to come by.

I did have one scare last week which I will refrain from describing due to the readers who have more delicate dispositions. Let's just say I overreacted to an incident which I felt for sure was a sign of miscarriage. Sheesh. Did I mention the next 7 months are going to be loooooooong?

As the Prop Turns: The woman I feared was paying too much attention to my husband seems to be getting involved with another skydiver. This other skydiver is a friend and a nice guy; he married and divorced a raging evil banshee not so long ago so I hope he's over that. Both of them could use a break in the dating department. Of course this turn of events is a relief to me; it also makes me feel even more embarrassed by all the irrational shit I put her through.

In other dz news, we had a party Saturday night. Drunk people are obnoxious. Funny how I didn't notice this before. Jon seemed more worried about people doing stupid things than being able to relax and enjoy himself. I don't think it will be as much fun to run our drop zone as we get busier and we see more strangers. As it was the worst incident was an out of towner fell and cut her hand pretty good on a beer bottle. She received 5 stitches. A bunch of them went to the local skating rink and got kicked out 5 minutes later. What is it about skydiving that makes people act like they are 6 years old?

Big Fat Kitty loves MacDonald's french fries. This might be one of the reasons why he's Big Fat Kitty.

My worst symptom is most definitely sleepiness. Caffeine doesn't help; which is a good thing because I know I should cut down. I keep snoozing at inappropriate times. I have a 35 minute commute to work; I hope I don't nod off while I'm driving.

An amusing story: two weeks ago about $500 in cash came up missing from the DZ's till. We searched everywhere for it, but couldn't figure out when it disappeared. Our manifest person, Stacey, was beside herself because she remembers putting it in the strongbox, but no one could recall if it actually made it home or went missing while we were out at the DZ. It was especially upsetting because if it were stolen, that would have meant that one of the people who was out at the DZ on Sunday night took it but none of them struck us as someone who would have done that. It's upsetting to think a friend would do that.

So Jon was packing a parachute on the living room floor Wednesday, and spotted the cash on the ground, hiding behind our entertainment console. Using deductive logic that would have made any CSI team proud, he realized what had happened:

The money made it home in the strong box. He usually sets the box down in the computer room floor next to his desk. He must have opened it to get something out and left it open. The cash was held together by a rubber band; Big Fat Kitty just looooooves rubber bands so he must have filched the cash out of the box to play with it. He finally managed to bat it under the console and left it there.

Heh! We have a cat burglar in the house! Ha! Hahahahaha! Heh. Eh. I thought it was funny.

He's never stolen money before. Usually he finds pens and hides them underneath the refrigerator. We found around 2 dozen pens underneath the one in our old house when we were getting ready to move.

Here's another short entry only to link to my latest review. Constant readers will note that I never throw away a good line.

Oh, yeah. Here's a review I nearly missed.

There's a word for this:

Defenestration
NOUN: An act of throwing someone or something out of a window.

Feh. Woke up worried because my boobs aren't as sore as they have been. In some ways I wish my symptoms were worse. I should be glad I feel this good.

One thing I noticed when I was at court last week: most, if not all, of the people who were there to pay fines/plead/whatever, were poorer people. Hartselle is predominantly white, but I saw mainly blacks and hispanics. The white people there were definitely blue-collar types. To me my $130 fine is annoying. To them it fines like that must really hurt. I'm not going to mumble comments about irresponsibility; most of them were there because something was wrong with their car, or they were driving without insurance or registration: things that cost money. Everyone bitches about how businesses exploit the poor, but how come no one bitches about how the courts exploit them? Well I'm bitching.

I'm pretty well convinced 90% of all laws are on the books to make sure that police can tag you with something if they don't like you for some reason. I wonder how many people have been arrested and prosecuted for carrying beer in their car in a dry county? I'm sure all of them looked like they couldn't afford a lawyer. They probably gave the arresting officer some lip.

I'm not against having laws; I'm against the arbitrary manner the police use in enforcing them. I got a ticket because I don't know the right people and I somehow annoyed a police officer. Hell, if you're the right person you can be caught with an open beer in your hand and they'll smile and wave you through.

I'm just pissed thinking about that police officer who did his best to intimidate me. Not in a threatening manner; he just bullshitted me to make sure I wouldn't fight the ticket. I was okeydoked and I still feel humiliated just thinking about it.

I doubt I'll beat the charge. Feh again.

Week 10

Every Monday I'll try and update on the little person in my belly.

I'm not feeling much in the way of symptoms; just sometimes I get really sleepy. I've also developed a sweet tooth, which I have to stop. Even Coke is starting to taste good again! I quit drinking soft drinks sometime during college.

I bought a stretchy pair of blue jeans today because even my fat jeans aren't fitting well. I weighed 148.8 this morning.

I taught a ground school and packed a reserve on Saturday, and afterwards I was dog-tired. I panicked when Jon talked everyone into going to a club; I begged out and he was ok with it. Just what I want: a loud club filled with cigarette smoke, surrounded by people drinking beer.

I actually have had no beer cravings, but besides the candy and coke binges, I am really craving sushi. I'll have to make some at home with cooked ingredients.

Sunday evening one of our King Air engines developed a problem. Annoying; thank goodness it was during the last load of the day so we didn't lose any business. The part that's bad will cost around 5 grand. I'm beginning to think that the best way to get a perm is to own an airplane and read the bills everytime you want a little curl in your hair. Having said that, I should have an afro by now.

Oh, ok: Here's what I really think about the presidential election.

I know that many people who voted for Kerry are truly, truly depressed about the election results. How horrible for you, to chafe under the yoke of a majority who don't think your way. How even more horrible that it's such a slim majority. The pain you are feeling is the result of democracy under a centralized federal government. If you let Washington wield all the authority, you risk handing all the power over to people who don't think like you; and that's pretty much what happened with this election.

Some liberal Democrats are mumbling things about seccession. Booyah! Some of you are getting a clue!

You don't have to move to Canada; just work on decoupling all that damn power from the Imperialists in Washington, give it back to the states, then vote with your feet.

My take on the whole election issue:

The Bruce Willis Yahoo Group is grousing because Damian Lewis is ahead by well over 1,000 votes in voting for most attractive man for November in Hello! Magazine's poll. They have decided that the Damian Lewis Yahoo Group has rigged the election with an automatic voting program. Well, screw them! They just aren't as dedicated and don't appreciate true passion for such an important vote. They also think, because they have never heard of him that no one else has. Well, hell; they're Bruce Willis fans! He was in Armageddon! No, no, bringing up Dreamcatcher isn't fair; at least Damian didn't have Ben Affleck telling him he loved him. Sure, he had a few bonding moments with Jason Lee (who had to kiss Ben in one of his movies), but it's not the same thing!

So go vote and support your favorite group of yahoos.

Jon uploaded this photo on the Skydive Alabama forum. He's so proud! 

Well, my date in court was nothing. I pleaded not guilty so they set another date when I am to plead my case (2 weeks from now). Now I'm wishing I should have asked them to put the court date sometime in February, where I should really start to show because Nancy is right: weepy pregnant women are all innocent. Bah! All that lost sleep for nothing.

Today took no time at all thank goodness; I'm sure I'll have to spend most of the day in court the next time because my last name begins with "M". I rue the day I stopped being a Boykin. I told Jon I wanted to change our last name to "Aardvark" but on the other hand, I don't want my child laughed out of school and into a bell tower with a high-powered rifle in tow. Hm, I'm hankering to watch Parenthood again.

It could be worse I guess; my last name could be "Zuckerman". When you're sliding into home, and your pants are full of foam, diarrhea! pffft! pffft! diarrhea! pffft! pffft!

I had a sonogram yesterday. The little bugger is about 4/5th of an inch long and has a heartbeat. I heard and saw it. Kinda drove the point home - I have a little person growing in my body. Yeah, I started crying. Jon was with me through the whole checkup and everything; he was a little disturbed about the doctor's exam - understandable; I think guys would just as soon keep the notion of a gynocological exam in the abstract. But he was all smiles and wonder during the sonogram.

I will be going to UAB's medical center to have an amniocentesis performed on December 20th. They will draw some amniotic fluid, and from cells they gather there they will be performing genetic testing. It will take about 2 weeks to get results. I am not looking forward to that procedure; plus it increases the chances of a miscarriage but on the other hand my chances of having a baby with a severe birth defect is about 1 in 50.

I hate all these percentage things, because they never tell you how they arrive at those percentages or what behaviors can modify those percentages. Look, as an old D&D geek gamer, I wanna know what bonuses and minuses I get. I know that being younger is the big thing, but doesn't the fact that I don't smoke count for anything? How about I tend to take care of myself and know what a balanced diet is (and for the most part eat one)?

I am not going to worry about that too much just yet; I just want to get to week 13 when my chances of miscarriage start to drop.

I have my court date tomorrow. More than likely I'll tell them I'm not guilty then they'll assign me another court date. Feh!

Nothing new to talk about today; the weekend was slow and uneventful. I did buy Dawn of the Dead the unrated director's cut on DVD and watched it. It's a fun movie to inflict on people, I have discovered. The extra scenes didn't really add much to the movie, although one explained better how our protagonists originally broke into the shopping mall.

Universal is demanding a sequel to DotD, and George Romero is finally making Dead Reckoning, his fourth zombie movie. Along with Shaun of the Dead it's been a banner year for me as far as zombie movies go. I am not including Resident Evil:Apocalypse, by the way. That movie was just stupid, even for a zombie movie. Uwe Boll's House of the Dead however remains the absolute worst zombie movie in recent history.

I'm not feeling well at the moment; kind of run down and icky. Is it the pregnancy or is it all the leftover Halloween candy? Or a combination?

Inspired by Nancy's list, here are my top 5 favorite candies:

5: Caramels
4: Sour skittles
3: Nestle's Crunch bar
2: Smarties
1: Candy corn

Oooooooooooh. I feel sick!

For the record: my cat never pooped in my shoe. She has given me plenty of puke and hairballs as gifts, however. She wouldn't dream of hiding them under the bed. She makes sure they are right in the middle of the room, where I can step in it. Big Fat Kitty sometimes gives me puke gifts, especially if he has gotten hold of and has tried to eat a rubber band. They love me!

Doctor's appointment tomorrow!