Kitty Come Home

cutekitty, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

We had a scare this weekend. Jon reminded me on the way home from work on Friday that he was going to take Brenden with him to the drop zone. A night to myself, o joy! After they left as I was preparing dinner, I noticed that Big Fat Kitty did not come into the kitchen to annoy me until I fed him kitty treats.

I searched everywhere for him in the house, including the attic, but he was gone. I tried to think back to the last time I saw him. I realized, to my shame, it was Thursday night. Our kitchen door doesn't close completely unless you pull the knob hard. That door leads to the garage, and kitty is adept at opening the door and sneaking in the garage.

I figure he must have snuck out, then left through a garage door and was locked out when we closed the garage doors for the night. I can't remember kitty trying to sleep on my face Thursday night nor trying to trip me the next morning when I was getting breakfast ready so it must have been Thursday.

I had planned to work through a six-pack while playing BioShock again but instead I walked through the neighborhood asking my neighbors if they had spotted a really big black and grey kitty. No luck. I did finally go in, drank a few beers and played a little but my heart wasn't in it. Poor kitty. I left a garage door open and I kept going into the kitchen to see if he was there.

I did some more searching in the neighborhood on Saturday and as the day wore on I got sadder and sadder. You have to understand, Big Fat Kitty is sweet but stupid and has lived his entire life indoors. I imagined him getting squished, or running away in terror at something and diving down in a storm drain and not able to find his way out. Saturday sucked, in other words.

But around 10 P.M. that night, Brenden asked for some water so I went in the kitchen to get him a sippy-cup. After filling it I did what I had been doing at least 5-10 times and hour which was open the kitchen and yell "Kitty!" and listen for a meow. I didn't have to yell; he was sitting right there with an expression on his face like "Hey, how you doin?"

Of course I yelled "KITTY!" which brought Brenden out of his room. He yelled "KITTY!" too and scared the crap out of BFK. I did manage to coax him into the house with kitty treats. Other than being a little dusty he seemed ok. I didn't find any ticks, fleas, bites, scrapes, or other problems.

There's a Spongebob episode where his pet snail Gary runs away because Spongebob is neglecting him. When Spongebob realizes what's happened he is totally miserable, crying into his Krabby patties, and he and Patrick scour Bikini Bottom looking for Gary. About in the middle of the cartoon there's a montage with a pretty sad song:

Gary can’t you see I was blind?
I’ll do anything to change your mind
More than a pet you’re my best friend
Too cool to forget
Come back because we are family and
Forgive me for making you want to roam
And now my heart is beating like the saddest metronome
Somewhere I hope you’re reading
My latest three word poem
Gary come home

As you can imagine this freaking song wouldn't get out of my head all day Saturday! All's well that ends well, however.

Monkey Boy Wants To Swim

IMG_1759, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

What I'm Watching:

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: Oh yeah, Jon and I got out once when I was out sick to see a movie. I'm glad I got to see this one in the theaters. Indy still kicks a lot of ass even though he's an old fart. Since I'm bordering on old fartyness myself I can't complain. Sure some of the action was outrageous. I didn't care. Come ON, it has Cate Blanchett as the Bad Guy! That's the real reason I wanted to see it. And I'm not allergic to Shia LeBouf so that helped. It is a nice Swan Song for Indiana Jones (and Harrison Ford's career - here's your chance to bow out gracefully, sir!).

Aaaand that's about it. I've watched a bunch of C.S.I. episodes recently but like I said earlier, it's a guilty pleasure. Guilty because I really don't care about anyone (though I've always liked how Gil is so non-judgemental of other people). But they're fun and total hooey. BSG, Lost, and Life are all on hiatus and there isn't anything good to put in my Netflix queue.

There will be in about 6 months, when all the nifty movies that are out now will be on DVD. I'd actually like to see Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, the former because I've always liked Robert Downey, Jr; and the latter not because of Ed Norton (who is a more logical choice than Eric Bana to play Bruce Banner but I'm kinda fond of Eric) but because the Bad Guy is played by the sorely MIA Tim Roth, who was a major favorite of mine back in the 90's. The new Batman should be out shortly, and Hancock might be fun.

I'd also like to see Kung Fu Panda and (of course) WALL-E, and I wouldn't throw away tickets for Get Smart if someone gave them to me. It's an interesting year in movies. Ok, maybe not; but it's more interesting than last year.

More Fun in the Pool

IMG_1803, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

It sucks about George Carlin. He loved to point out the funny and inconsistent things about our language, including the naughty bits. The words, not our actual naughty bits, though he talked about them too. He was a joy for amateur etymologists like me, though sometimes especially in the later years he was too bitter. Despite all his cursing, my favorite bit of his is his essay on the difference between Football and Baseball. Like Football has THE TWO MINUTE WARNING!!!!! but baseball has the 7th inning stretch! Football has SUDDEN DEATH but baseball has extra innings!. Woo-hoo! we have EX-tra innings! Football has PENALTIES, but baseball has errors. Whoopsie! I made an error!!

The whole routine is a classic.

I was able to swim this weekend. I feel some tightness in my chest but I suppose that will pass, or I'll get used to it as I heal more. Brenden is now going to the potty without much prompting. He aims about as well as a drunk guy despite his shorter range so I've invested heavily in Clorox wipes. We won't talk about the time we were at the pool and he announced "poo poo!" so I got the bright idea of taking his swim shorts off before he went in the house. That was a mistake.

Joey and Erin Made Fark

Joey and Erin Made Fark, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Woo - hoo! Way to go, guys!

Surgical Procedures R me.

Patrick likes starfish., originally uploaded by wastedinthekeys.

I am scheduled for a colonoscopy July 28th. It's just a precaution because of my dad's cancer. I can't wait to blog about that, especially what I have to do they day before so that the guy with the camera has an unobstructed view!

Ed has signed up for one too, in October.

They Win!

Dad, Abigail, Mom & Sean, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Check this out: I'm related to them. Sort of. Joey is my husband's older brother. They have one son, Aidan, who is 6 months younger than Brenden. When we found out his wife was pregnant with twins, we told Joey "You win!"

Brenden has more cousins, hooray!

The Day After Surgery

IMG_1773, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I'm ready to talk about my boobs: I knew I wasn't going to be happy. None of the options were appealing so I chose the one that I thought would distress me the least. I've mentioned this before: I chose to have reconstructive surgery using an implant on my right side as well as a smaller implant under my left breast to even things out - had I just gotten the implant on my right it would have been perky while my left would have been a normal saggy 40+ year-old boob. Now they are both perky (sort of), but bigger than what I was used to.

The right side also had nipple reconstruction. The aureola was fashioned from a piece of skin from my inner right thigh (apparently this is a section of skin that is naturally darker). Since you can't cut a round section of skin then sew that shut and have it look normal, the doctor took a piece of skin that left a four-inch long wound. the stitching doesn't look neat, either; like he was in a hurry.

Now that it's all over but the healing, the left side is bigger than the right and I think it's noticeable. I won't bitch too much. I need to drop 16 pounds anyway so maybe I can even things out that way. I'm not happy with all the scars on my body but I can't see how they are avoidable. So I'm pretty much super-annoyed about everything but I can't really enjoy being annoyed because I was lucky.

In other news Brenden's toilet training is coming along nicely. He has accidents and some days are better than others, but he's been really cooperative with the whole process. He's come along so nicely that Jon is optimistic (as am I) and we've started making plans for a cruise next year.

We're planning on going to Puerto Rico for our 10th wedding anniversary, but Jon has always wanted to do a cruise. We've decided on a 7 day Disney cruise (Eastern Caribbean, and yes that includes the Virgin Islands) in February. Disney cruises tend to be more expensive than comparable cruises, but from everything I've read they are worth it, especially if you have kids. We'll find out!

Swimming

Swimming, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Big old Battlestar Galactica spoilers for the mid-season ending episode - Scifi is going to frak with us and not show us the second half of the last season until next year, so I'm going to list here the things I want, not what I predict, because what the hell might as well shoot for the moon because Earth is an irridated wasteland! Listed from least important to me to most important:

7: I hope that the Fightin' Agathons keep on. I've always liked Athena and Helo, and nothing should separate them (nor should they lose their daughter again).

6: Because Baltar finally did something I could love him for - he saved Laura - really, think about it! I wish him peace as he and his followers go off and do their thing.

5: If Starbuck can't figure out how to treat someone nice, I hope she and Leoben live crappily every after. If she can, I hope she and Sam can figure it out. Then creepy Leoben can go hang with bitchy Tory, who deserves someone like him.

4: Lee is going to be president of whatever's leftover, we know that. He should be a male stripper - open a joint called 'the Inconvenient Towel'. Anyway, he and the only remaining Three should hook up since they are going to spend a lot of time together as the respective leaders of their people. They deserve each other.

3: Poor Saul Tigh. But hey, he has a hottie six who loves him. Not only that, it's Caprica Six! And she's pregnant! With what clearly is the final and 5th Cylon (think about it). They need to settle down together and raise their kid. They deserve each other and I mean that in a good way.

2: Bill is doomed - he can't live without Laura and she's going out soon anyway. I wish them both a good time with what little time they have left. And he and Saul better make up. Saul may be a Cylon, but he proved he's the man he always was when he offered himself to the airlock.

1: Oddly enough, this is what I want to see the most: I want to see Boomer, the original 8, make her way back to Tyrol. Sure, he married the woman who killed Boomer and had a child with her, but Boomer has been shagging a Cavil (ew) so it evens out. I don't know why, but most of all I'd really like to see Boomer back with Chief again because that would close a very painful circle.

Actually, since we're talking about Ron frakkin Moore here, I'll be happy if one or two of the characters I have mentioned make it out alive. Just one or two, Ron. Please!

Brenden at the Pool

IMG_1810, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Ugh. I'll write about my surgery, eventually. No, I'm not happy but it's not like any of my choices to begin with were going to make me happy.

So what have I done this last week, other than whine about my breasts? I finally played and finished BioShock. Twice. Fracking good game. It's a first-person shooter, most of which I don't like, but this one is the 'spiritual sequel' to System Shock 2, which was/is the best game ever. Instead of outer space, BioShock takes place in an underwater city, circa 1960. The designers were clearly inspired by 'Atlas Shrugged' and a better name for this game would have been When Galt's Gulch Goes Horribly Wrong. But no one would have bought it.

And hey! We've started potty-training Brenden. He's doing pretty good, so far. He has accidents, of course, but he's starting to get real good about using the facilities on command. I hope he soon starts asking us to use them. So far we ask him (about every 15 minutes).

more cat pictures

Just to let you know, I'm fine but not feeling up to writing much. I'm mortified by how big my chest is.

Edible Greens

Edible Greens, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

This is the Greatest!!! Theological!!! Argument!!! EVER!!!!

One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it.

An amazingly amusing bit of solipsism before my surgery


more FAIL

Here's an annoying philosophical pause - one of the not very fun aspects of undergoing surgery for cancer is spending too much time under the influence of painkillers and contemplating the meaning of death.

I have always had a problem with faith in general - once I got past the age of 12 I have had a tough time just believing in things. I'm categorized as a 'soft' atheist - I have no freaking clue as to whether a god or gods exist but that's besides the point; I don't believe in God the all-father who will give me eternal life so long as I (insert religious belief here).

I think it's the eternal life thing - living forever on a different plane of existence - that gets to me - it just doesn't make sense. I think I prefer the idea of recycling - I mean reincarnation. I'd love to come back again and try something new.

And so anyway there I was stoned out of my gourd thinking about coming back and trying again, and I was wondering, since the universe is so vast and time is so very long, maybe reincarnation isn't as far-fetched as it sounds. What I mean is that a combination of factors would come together again so that somewhere something was born that would have my conciousness.

I'm not making myself very clear. I'm not talking about my soul or my memories, just something somewhere that would be aware like I'm aware now. Argh. It's hard to explain exactly what I mean.

Then I got to thinking even further (remember, I spent December pretty well smashed 27/4) about how just long forever is, and I was wondering if the universe keeps exploding and expanding, and exploding, and expanding, and wondering if it's the same every time. Does every time the universe explodes does the planet earth get formed and evolve human beings, and around the time they label 1964 some girl named Sandy gets born? Do things change every time (meaning some times I wouldn't be born at all as my ancestors make different choices) or do we constantly make the same choices (disco is inevitable - forever and ever, amen)?

Then I got to thinking even wierder - maybe it's the same every time around but every time it's different and I have someone else's conciousness, or point of view. Meaning at one time or another, I have been / will be everyone.

That totally gave me the heebie jeebies. I've been / will be Hitler? Not to mention every single Jew that got gassed. That got me to thinking about all the murder, mayhem, slavery, rapes, and robbery throughout the ages. And all the pain. And Ryan Seacrest! Holy crap. I guess I ought to be nicer to myself.

more cat pictures

More ado about nothing

My surgery is set for this coming Wednesday. Even though it's an outpatient thingy, I'm going to be in the hospital all day. Whee! I underestimated how much time I'd be out of work. I thought it would be a couple of days but my doc said it would be at least a week, maybe 10 days.

Ed and I agreed it was a great season of Lost. We think it was because it was a shortened season so the writers kept the fluff to a minimum and just told the story they needed to. And I'm glad Ben is alive. I still hate him, but he's the most fun character on the show. And I'm happy for Penny and Desmond, although they seriously need to find a deserted island somewhere to hide out.... ok maybe not an island.

Letter to Brenden Month 36 Hooray, in 4 days you are three! We still haven't potty trained you, although you have shown pretty good bladder control (I won't go into details) lately. Please quit taking off your loaded diaper. You keep surprising me with your vocabulary, for instance yesterday, you grabbed the spatula from sink and yelled "SPATCHA!"

You are loving video games a bit too much so we decided one of the things we were going to buy you is a video game console a bit more advanced than your age (but not a Wii). If you can play Call of Duty 4 you can handle the VTech console. You also have pretty much wrecked your dad's classic game controller - the one with Donkey Kong, Galaga, Pac-Man, etc. Fortunately all I have to do to get you away fron the controls is ask you if you want to go outside. The water was 80 degrees this weekend so we swam, swam, then swam some more. Despite my decisions to the contrary this month you will be taking swimming lessons. Enjoy, bud!

Big Stick for Dad

Big stick for dad, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

My dad keeps passing his checkups with flying colors. Yay, dad!

I forgot to mention: I took Brenden to the park last Sunday morning. He discovered an interesting swing - it is a big tractor tire suspended from three chains so it hangs sideways like it would be lying flat on the ground. The thee chains meet up at a swivel so not only can it swing side-to-side, it can spin.

He got me to spin him, faster and faster. Finally he asked me to stop, and I pulled him off the swing and tried to get him on his feet. He was a little unsteady. He asked to go home and he insisted I carry him (it's a half-mile walk). Every time I put him down he'd walk a little, then beg me to carry him. If I refused, he'd cry. Finally I put him on my shoulders and we got home.

I gave him some water while he sat on the couch. Suddenly he stood up and hurled his breakfast all over the couch. It wasn't a little puke, it was a standard Linda Blair joke projectile mass of goo. I was worried he was sick, but he was fine after that. Lesson learned: spinning a toddler around and around for a long period of time is not a good idea.

I also forgot to mention: I watched The Simpson's Movie (in Blu-Ray, but that hardly mattered). Cute, funny, worth a watch especially if you are or were ever a fan of the show. And weren't we all at one point in time? I don't think I've watched the show since before I moved to Alabama. It's been on the air since 1989! Sheesh.

If you get the cable channel G4 ( Spike for Nerds) it is showing The King of Kong Sunday afternoon. Really, it's worth watching!

Nothing much about nothing

Pictureok 056, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I hope everyone had a good Memorial Day weekend. Brenden and I swam, and then we swam some more. Then we swam even more, and Sunday night Jon brought a bunch of skydivers home and Brenden swam with his dad a bunch.

We took a break on Monday because it was cloudy. We swam just a little bit then Brenden told me it was too cold. I spent most of the day watching the CSI marathon on Spike (that show is a guilty pleasure), and took time out to watch a documentary recommended to me by my brother: The King of Kong.

I concur with Ed's assessment of the doc. I will add that when it begins and I first met these people I felt an incredulous desire to see if Christopher Guest is in the credits anywhere. After a while I really started to empathize with Steve Wiebe, who took solace in Donkey Kong after getting laid off from his job (I lmao'ed when his son is yelling at him when he's trying to finish a game - been there, done that).

It would be easy to smirk and say 'what losers' but I think of all the time and quarters I wasted over the years on video games (I was pretty damn good at Galaga in the height of the 80's - there was a machine at the laundromat I used). I have to recommend a viewing of this documentary to everyone (despite it being about trying to beat the high score on an ancient video game).

Oh, and another amusing Brenden story (and a big old "FYT" to Kathy Lee Gifford): I'm trying to get him to tell me when he has a poop and he started to this weekend: he walked up to me twice and handed me his fully-loaded diaper which he took off. He proudly announced "Poo-poo!" both times and I had to scramble to find the wipes before he decided to sit down any where.

What I'm watching:

Pictureok 090, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Bee Movie and Ratatouille: Yes, I've seen the Pixar movie before, but we caught it on one of the Hi-def channels right after the Bee stuff. It helped me understand why I thought the Bee stuff blew. Ratatouille's story is character-driven. I mean the characters drive the story! Remy the rat has a mad passion for good food and wants nothing more to be a chef. The movie not only says this, it shows it. What happens during the story is driven by Remy's (and to a lesser extent the other characters) desires and actions.

Whereas the B movie just rambles. Jerry Seinfeld's bee character doesn't want to just pick a bee job and work it until he dies. But from that point he just rambles around, makes friend with a florist, and eventually sues humans for stealing honey from hardworking bees. It's just stupid.

Oh, yes: the animation was no where near Pixar's greatness. Crap, it didn't even come close to Toy Story, which was released over 10 years ago! Upon a second viewing, I've come to think Ratatouille is a darn good movie.

Beowulf: Speaking of bad animation... That poem we were all forced to read in high school is made into a bad movie by the same people who made The Polar Express. It's completely CGI and the characters seem lifeless. Again, Pixar kicks ass compared to blah blah blah... Either make cartoon characters CARTOONS or use the techniques that Sin City and 300 used for the animation.

The Kingdom This one is about a terrorist attack in Saudi Arabia that kills many Americans, including plenty of women and children. A group of FBI agents manage to trick their way in to investigate. This movie is actually a pretty good thriller, with Jamie Fox, Jennifer Garner, and Chris Cooper. It allows the terrorists to be bad guys, but not in the stock movie character sense. What I mean is I don't think you could replace them with Eurotrash Nazis and have the same movie. It's worth a watch but brutally violent.

The Pixar Story I caught this documentary while channel surfing. This movie illustrates how the little guy perservered in the face of great odds. I did not know that Pixar was originally a subdivision of Lucasfilm! Basically George Lucas told them "A full-length comuter animated movie is a nifty idea, but we don't have the money for that". Suuuuuure, George, I believe you. But anyway Steve Jobs kept Pixar afloat until the company made a deal with Disney and Toy Story was born. And I hope Lucas spent a few weeks kicking himself in the butt when he saw that movie's box office receipts.

It almost didn't get born because Disney kept trying to interfere. Hooray for John Lassiter for sticking to his guns! Pixar's worst film is A Bug's Life and I adore that movie! After 8 films, I think there is plenty of proof that Pixar is good, not just lucky.

Lost and Battlestar Galactica OMFG! HS!HS!HS!HS! And I have to wait 2 weeks for both shows. That just blows.

For the record my order of preference:

Toy Story
Toy Story 2
The Incredibles
Cars
Monsters, Inc
Ratatouille
Finding Nemo
A Bug's Life

Name that Pile of Poo

Chet, originally uploaded by Comments Are Great, You Know.

Just because I so totally have nothing at all to talk about:

Top 5 Bill Paxton Movies

Aliens: Along with his small role as older brother Chet in the forgettable Wierd Science his role as Hudson vaulted Paxton into semi-fame (he became one of those "hey, it's that guy!" actors). Hudson is an obnoxious Colonial Marine who goes into shock and semi-hysteria after his squad gets thier collective butt handed to them by rampaging alien hordes. Hudson has a thousand quotable lines, from the immortal "Game over, man - game over!" to "Hey, maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked, pal!"

Apollo 13: After years of grinding semi-obscurity, Paxton finally had another big part in an ensemble movie. Instead of the usual obnoxious guy with all the great quotes, he play astronaut Fred Haise as a decent everyman in a really sucky situation. I'm not a huge Ron Howard fan, but when he hits a home run, it's always totally out of the park. This movie is required watching, as is Parenthood.

One False Move: Independent thriller about FBI agents tracking murderers to a small town in Arkansas. Paxton plays the rather excitable sheriff of this area but loses his enthusiasm fast when he realizes he has a connection to one of the killers. This movie made some people finally notice Mr. Paxton has some acting ability (including Ron Howard).

Near Dark: I hate vampires but this movie is an exception. I think it's because the bloodsuckers in question aren't effete and angsty. They just like killing and blood drinking. Especially Severen (Paxton's character). He and his family are inducting a new member, who freaks when he's shot in the belly with a shotgun. Severen exclaims "It's a kick, ain't it?" then proceeds to tear apart the bartender who shot him. Vampires suck (heh), but I love this little band's enthusiasm.

True Lies: Bill Paxton at his obnoxious best. He's a sleazy used-car salesman here who is putting the moves on Arnold Swarzenegger's neglected wife (Jamie Lee Curtis). Fun cheesy movie if not WAY overproduced. Still, Bill gets most of the good lines, including the classic "[Y]ou get their pilot lit, they could suck-start a leaf-blower!"

Frailty: Hey I said 5 but I'll make it 6. Bill Paxton directed as well as starred in this movie and is it twisted. He's a widower trying to raise his two sons when God tells him he has to kill demons living among everybody. He brings his two young sons in on his crusade. There's enough here to offend the most die-hard atheist *and* fundamentalist Christian. I got a big kick out of it.

Maintaining Tradition is Important

Sleep time, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday Bill Paxton,
Happy Birthday tooooo youuuuuuuuuu!

Brenden and Anthony

Brenden and Anthony, originally uploaded by nheiges.

Nancy, Mark, and Anthony came for a weekend visit. We had fun at a Decatur park and in the pool and hot tub - the pool is clean, clear, and open even though it's cold. Nancy came over to catch up on Battlestar Galactica season 4 and we made it through 4 out of 6 episodes. I'm so glad I can geek over the show with someone I know! Besides my brother Ed.

I stole this photo from Nancy's Flickr site. It's totally adorable; she took it just before they left on Sunday. And since Sunday was Mother's day, Jon gave me a terrific gift: a Brenden-free day! I dropped him at the drop zone (heh) and went home and did nothing but play computer games and snack on cheese and olives.

The olives were a Mom's day gift from Jon; the cheese was a birthday gift from my brother Ed and sister-in-law Jen. They sent us some cheese for Christmas which was TEH YUMMEH and I loved getting more.

The only useful thing I did was vacuum the worms out of my pool. They committed suicide during the night before's terrific thunderstorms.

What I'm Watching:

Yellow Flowers, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Alvin and the Chipmunks Kiddie film. A waste of Jason Lee, of all things.

I Am Legend I finally got to watch a movie where Will Smith acts, and doesn't play Will Smith (not that there's anything wrong with that - I enjoyed Hitch way more than I should have). The plot has a few holes, but it's saved by Smith's performance as his character seems to be the only survivor of a plague that killed most and turned a bunch into bloodthirsty mutants who managed to wipe out those who were immune to it. I'm not going to say more but I was gushing tears at several points and it's all Mr. Smith's fault.

Touching the Void Amazing mountain-climbing story, narrated by the 3 people who actually participated in the event (and dramatized by actors). Two guys climb a mountain in Peru (the third is at their base camp) and on their way down one of them breaks his leg (and not a simple snap, either; he described it like he drove his lower leg bones through his knee and jammed into his femur -OW!). His friend painstakingly lowers him down 300 feet at a time, but at one point, it gets dark and storming and the hurt guy ends up dangling over a precipice and his friend ends up having to cut the rope between them.

Surprisingly suspenseful, considering it is narrated by the guys it happened to. The hurt guy's journey out from the crevasse he landed in back to the base camp is just insane. YOU scoot on your butt backwards over a glacier! I don't know why I'm watching so much mountain-climbing stuff; I certainly have no desire to do so (and this story didn't make me want to do it any faster).