El Guapo

Happy Kid, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Jon is replacing the Evil Child-Eating Garage Door Openers as I type; we went and bought new ones last night and I'm ashamed that we didn't do it sooner because the price wasn't that bad.

The fridge also decided to die over the weekend and the fridge guy should be out to look at that today, too. I'm glad we have a chest freezer.

Brenden is doing good. I was real worried about him being in pain because he was prescribed only about 3-4 days worth of Lortab, but he is cruising along fine on Advil now. His finger, while a nice shade of purple, looks better than expected. I won't post pics - while I'm amused by adult boo-boos, little toddler boo-boos make me want to throw up until I'm inside out.

For some reason, Brenden has finally gotten a case of Velcro-to-mommy-itis. He has never had problems with me leaving before but the last week (it started earlier than his run-in with the garage door).
He also insists I stay with him while he falls asleep.

A quick note on Tampa: my dad is doing pretty good; the chemo is tiring him out but overall he doesn't look much different than the last time I saw him. I have never been to their new house down there and it's very nice and right next to a golf course. Brenden and I wandered over there a few times to walk around (with no golfers around, of course). Dad & Ilu have a pool so of course we spent a lot of time in there.

We also visited the Florida Aquarium, and while it's small compared to the other ones I've seen (Baltimore, Chicago, Chattanooga, Gatlinburg), it's impressive and worth checking out. We also visited the Tampa zoo which is freakin awesome. It was way too hot, however and B wasn't in the best mood because of it. We tried to visit the beach but the surf was rough and seaweed-infested. We managed to pack a lot into a 4 day vacation!

Ouch

happyboy, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Ugh. This entry was supposed to be a trip report to Tampa. We had a great time, thank you. Look at the photos and I'll blog about it later.

But yesterday afternoon Brenden broke a finger. It was the tip of the finger, but it was mashed flat - one of those things that happens in an instant.

I took one look at his finger and told Jon we needed to get him to the hospital. We loaded up in the van and took him to the little one here in town. I was so glad we were able to get in immediately. A nurse gave Brenden some Lortab and Benadryl, and I'd say it took about 20 minutes before it kicked in. In the meantime he was crying pretty bad.

After some X-Rays (and that wasn't fun either) the doc told us he had a small fracture. That's not so bad. He will probably lose the fingernail, and what is upsetting me is he damaged the fingernail bed, so he may not grow a nail back where he hurt it.

Once we left the hospital, Brenden was feeling the Lortab just fine and was cheerfully pointing out the window of the van and going "Ooo dada wook!" at everything. We stopped to fill his prescriptions and we ate some MacDonald's while sitting in the van waiting for them to be filled.

I didn't have much appetite but Brenden packed away just about all my french fries and took a bite out of each of my Chicken McNuggets. I wasn't that hungry, anyway.

Jon and I were quite rattled about this. Jesus, if he had broken his leg I think both of us would have dropped dead from heart attacks! Skydiving doesn't hold a candle to parentood when it comes to terror.

Fashion Model

backpack2, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

We're leaving tomorrow afternoon for Tampa. Jon found out that Southwest flies out of Birmingham direct to Tampa for some seriously reasonable prices. In the meantime:

Letter to Brenden Month 25:

I heard back from the good folks who tested you, and you 'eligible for services' in the area we suspected - communication. I am meeting with someone next Wednesday where we will draw up a plan of attack to get you talking better. Neither your dad nor I think there's anything wrong with you but maybe I'll learn some things about little kids when I meet with this guy. It will be interesting to see the full results of this test.

Ironically, I think you are getting better at talking. You love saying "Dada, woo! Aypluh!" (Mom and/or dad, look, there's an airplane!). And I love it if I ask you if you want something. You will hear an important key word in my question, whether it be "juice", "chocolate", or "cheese", and you'll say "yeah! Yayayah!"

And even though you resist trying new words, you are not above new sounds or actions, like you love imitating faces we make, or when we all brush our teeth together you picked up spitting pretty fast.

The big news of this month is of course climbing out of bed. What I haven't reported yet is you learned to climb over the gate we put up in your doorway pretty damn fast. I'm sorely tempted to duct tape you to your mattress when it's time to sleep but we'll give you a chance to sort it out. I really should have bought you a larger bed because you will grow out of the toddler bed in oh, about 3 months I'd say. We love you, monkey-boy!

messy2, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

No word yet on Brenden's testing - not that I would expect a government agency to be that fast.

We will be visiting dad and Ilu in Tampa next weekend - turns out Southwest Airlines has some pretty sweet deals on direct flights out of Birmingham.

I'm rereading the Harry Potter series in anticipation of the 7th and final book, which will be released July 27th. I am getting it from Amazon and will read it as soon as I get it otherwise I will go insane trying to avoid spoilers which I expect will hit the internet any moment now.

It's been a slow news week.

Not about the Cat

Kitteh2, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

The assessment was pretty fascinating. I was impressed, first off, that Brenden actually listened to the women who came by (one is a neighbor 2 doors down, by the way - that was amusing). The assessment involved many questions for us (us being me, Jon, and our babysitter) which ranged to how much fun my pregnancy was to Brenden's health to how he interacts with other kids (not aggressive, but not into sharing).

I can't remember all the tests - they were fairly comprehensive, but they included rattling several things where he couldn't see to see if he noticed, and seeing if he could color with a crayon in a certain direction if shown how. He was asked to match pictures of shapes to one another and he got a few of those (he aced the stacking, sorting, and shape matching). He started faltering when one of the testers set an array of objects in front of him (a brush, a cup, a shoe, a few other things) and asked him indirect questions about the objects like "Brenden, would you like something to drink?" (Brenden ignored the cup in front of him but ran to get his sippy cup). He got the "what do you put on your feet?" but missed the "would you like to fix your hair?" That's fairly advanced though.

He absolutely wouldn't answer questions about some mommy/daddy/baby dolls but I think he was losing interest at that point.

Most of the language questions they asked us, and we came up with about 10-12 words between us that he uses on a regular basis. He doesn't use pronouns, and he rarely forms compound sentences (beyond dada nana meow).

We'll find out what the results are Thursday. Have a happy 4th, y'all!

Oh, PS Helly and Alan, you are most likely right, he'd probably take to those words like a sponge to water. The last word I can think of that he learned was "poo poo!" (which he occasionally says while clutching the back of his diaper).

Stealing Nancy's Photo

Brenden & Dad, originally uploaded by nheiges.

My friend Nancy has written on her blog about her son's reluctance to be adventurous while Brenden seems to be fearless. Her son, though, has remarkable language skills while Brenden's skills are starting to lag. I'll trade you a little adventure for language, Nancy.

Seriously, Brenden's babysitter has talked me into getting in touch with ChildFind, a state sponsored program that helps screen for and correct possible deficiencies in toddlers. I know, he's only 2 for Pete's sake, but he doesn't have the same language skills most children his age have. He seems to not want to learn new words and is extremely stubborn about it. For instance, we have been working with him to get him to call me "mama", but usually he ignores us, or says, "No, Dada!"

2 speech pathologists are coming out this afternoon to evaluate Brenden. If nothing else, maybe they can give me tips on how to get him to start saying things. If they find a problem, well... I'll deal with that when I get to that point.

Helly tagged me! I rock!!. I'm supposed to tag 5 of the women bloggers I know but they've all been tagged. Nancy, you're tagged again! So there.

Mad Scientist

Mad Scientist, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Brenden is slowly adapting to his new bed - getting him to sleep is a bear, but he is staying there for the most part. We put up a gate once we put him to bed and he'll stand there in front of it and complain. Finally he gets tired of us getting up and saying "go to bed!" so he'll just stand there. Then he realizes he's just plain tired and finally go to bed.

He loves his new bed, by the way. He just doesn't like to sleep in it. He's definitely one of those kids that hates to miss out on any of the action.

He's not really sick any more, which is helping, too. The medicine the doctor gave us to help his cough and help him sleep helped with the cough, but also revved him up. A stoned Brenden is twice as hilarious, but not at 9 pm.

What we're watching:

License to Kill Bad Bond, James Bond. Timothy Dalton's 2nd and last Bond movie. My opinion of it still holds - it's too scattershot to be a good Bond movie. One thing of note - one of the Bond Girls saves his ass several times. Bond is too much of a jerk to thank her, of course. That's just staying in character.

Thunderball More Bond. This movie is old style James Bond, back when he wasn't just a jerk, but many of his actions towards women would have had him arrested in this age. The best part of this movie is snerking at all the ideas Mike Myers stole to create Dr. Evil.

Delta Force II: The Columbian Connection Chuck Norris kicks evil bad guys in their faces!!!!
What the hell did you expect?

Toy Story We haven't seen this one in a while - it's as cute as it's always been, and I was amused to note how far Pixar animation has gone, as well as how far other CGI animation still needs to go to catch up to even this 1995 movie. One surprise in the credits: Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer's creator) has a screenplay credit for this movie. I bet some of Sid's actions (the cruel kid) and the toy's revenge on him were Whedon's twisted ideas.

Ni ni!

ni ni, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel sleepy...

The alternate title to this post is We don't call him 'monkey-boy' fer nuthin', because Brenden finally realized he could climb out of his crib Friday night. I don't mean he climbed to the top then fell out - he scaled it like he had been doing it for months. I knew he had the skill set and it was just a matter of time. His new toddler bed is in the back of the mini-van.

Brenden is also sick. I took him to the doc's this morning because he had a little fever Saturday night (no stupid John Travolta jokes there, ok?) and a lot of head congestion. He kept waking up and crying because he kept coughing. He slept with us Saturday and Sunday because it's the only way we got any rest at all. The doc prescribed him a pretty decent cough suppressant/decongestant, which I'll give him tonight so we can all sleep. I hope.

Because of Brenden's new mobility, getting him to bed on Saturday (this is before he woke up and started coughing) was impossible so he stayed up until about 10pm. Jon has a jumper friend who will be headed to Iraq in a few months and is leaving for training this week so we had a party for him at the house Saturday evening. My job was to chase Brenden which was actually easy because all he wanted to do was sit in the hot tub then go play in the pool over and over again (and I'm well aware this might be what made him sick). It was nice to talk to people I haven't seen in a while. About 8 pm B and I retreated to my bedroom and watched The Spongebob Squarepants Movie before we finally tried to go to sleep.

After posting that meme I was wondering if I really do still quote from Aliens. After discussing a disaster with my husband this morning, I said to him "If they total it let's just bug out and call it even". So I guess the answer to that is yep, I still quote.

Kitteh

Kitteh, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Now I remember why I bought a kegging system

Brenden decided he didn't want to go to bed so I had to block off the kitchen to set things up to bottle my beer. So Brenden was cranky, I was cranky, Jon was cranky. Finally I was able to get B to sleep and Jon and I worked on getting the beer bottled. I had bought some swing-cap 16 ounce bottles and they came in a sturdy carboard box so after we filled the bottles we put them back in the box.

While Jon was carrying them to the back bathroom (only place that is cool enough plus we don't let Brenden back there), I hear a mighty crash and I run to see the bottles all over the place.The box bottom had not been taped shut. Jon apologized a million times because I was upset, but I was n't at him. I didn't see that the box wasn't shut either so it would have happened to me had I taken them to the back. I lost 6 16 ounce bottles which means I lost about 8 regular bottles worth of beer more or less.

Next batch I keg for sure!

This meme I found on a blog I'm enjoying: Johnny LaRue's Crane Shot and if you know who Johnny LaRue is, love marginal movies/TVs, and are in your early 40's I bet you'll enjoy it too. This is a fairly simple meme:

1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times.

I can name 10 off the top of my head:

10) Star Wars IV (Like anyone calls it "A New Hope")
9) Empire Strikes Back
8) Return of the Jedi
7) Raiders of the Lost Ark
6) Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind
5) Jurassic Park
4) Terminator
3) Dawn of the Dead (original)
2) Jaws
1) Aliens

2. Name a movie that you've seen multiple times in the theater.

See that list for #1.

3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie.

Throughout the years only one man has remained a constant: Bill Paxton. Srsly! Even though I haven't watched Big Love yet. I intend to!

4. Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie.

Tom Cruise, though I really don't dislike him any more. Brad Pitt, maybe.

5. Name a movie that you can and do quote from.

Aliens, duh.

6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.

I used to be able to sing along with Jesus Christ, Superstar

7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with.

None comes to mind these days.

8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.

Spider-Man II

9. Name a movie that you own.

Oh, come on!
Rustler's Rhapsody

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.

Marky Mark. Actually I'm even more impressed with Donnie Wahlberg.

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what?

I couldn't list them all! I think the last one I saw in a drive-in was The Frighteners.

12. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven't yet gotten around to it.

Currently Little Miss Sunshine. Since whenever Bridge over River Kwai

13. Ever walked out of a movie?

Poltergeist III. I only walked in to get out of the sweltering heat and kill some time and this movie was so boring it drove me out.

14. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater.

Eesh. I'm always crying. Easy tear leakage, even in a key scene in Spider-Man III this year.

For most tear leaking I'd have to say Grave of the Fireflies.

15. Popcorn?

Well, yar!

16. How often do you go to the movies (as opposed to renting them or watching them at home)?

Ever since Brenden was born maybe only 1 or 2 a year.

17. What's the last movie you saw in the theater?

Spider-Man III.

18. What's your favorite/preferred genre of movie?

Gangster. No, War. Wait, Science Fiction. Wait, Horror. Nope, Action...

19. What's the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?

Herbie the Love Bug I think.

20. What movie do you wish you had never seen?

Straw Dogs. Plenty has been written about Sam Peckinpah being a misogynist. After watching this movie I'd have to concur. BLAH!

also:

Eraserhead. Not because it was vile but because it was the cinematic equivalent of listening to Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music.

21. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?

That's a good question and I'll have to think on it for a while.

22. What is the scariest movie you've seen?

Dawn of the Dead - It gave me nightmares! Nothing gives me nightmares, but I have had flesh-eating zombie nightmares ever since I saw this classic back when I was 15.

23. What is the funniest movie you've seen?

Krep. Funniest of all time? Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I say so because it still makes me laugh even though I can quote all of it. Currently I'm surprised to admit how much I totally love Dodgeball.

What I'm Watching:
I forgot to mention I watched Constantine while Mark and Nancy were visiting. While it's not a great movie, and despite my Keanu love I wish someone with a little more depth had been cast as the otherworld-weary eponymous character, I really dug the Christian mythology.

'Half-breed' devils and angels live on earth, spreading their respective leaders' wishes with whisper campaigns as the rest of Heaven and Hell stay out of our world because of some bet that God and Satan have. Sometimes the half-breeds cross the line and do something off-limits (like try to posess someone) so Constantine, who is apparently some sort of excorcist, spends his time hunting these offenders down and blowing them back to Hell. He does this because he tried to commit suicide when he was younger and succeeded for a few minutes but was revived. He knows he's going to Hell, so he's trying to get his sentence commuted by doing a few good deeds. Satan, however, is so pissed at him that Constantine knows that when he dies for real, Satan's going to show up himself (despite the deal) to collect his soul.

I wish the story had been handled better, but I really liked the premise.

Lord of the Silliness

airplane2, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

What I'm Watching:

Aragorn-I mean, Eragon Luke Skywalker lives on a farm with his uncle owen, in a land ruled by Darth Sauron, a dragon rider who betrayed and killed all the other dragon riders. Luke finds a dragon egg, hidden by Princess Leia, who was taken prisoner by the evil sorceror Darth Saruman who is Darth Sauron's minion.

The dragon hatches and uncle owen is killed so Luke has to run away with the help of Obi-Wan Kenobi. They flee towards Rivendell where the rebel alliance camps. But Luke keeps having dreams of Princess Leia so he and his dragon set out for Minas Morgul, home of Darth Saruman to free Leia. Along the way Obi-Wan gets mortally wounded so he teaches Luke about the Force and gives him his trusty light saber.

Leia, Luke, and his Dragon set out again for Rivendell when Han Solo joins them - Han apparently helped them escape from Minas Morgul. So they get to Rivendell and they discover that they have led Darth Saruman's Orcs and Darth Sauron's Stormtroopers right into the rebel hideout! But of course Luke is now powerful with the force so he and his dragon manage to take out Darth Saruman. The End, but set up for the endless sequels to follow, as Darth Sauron is still alive.

Monkey-boy says HI!

HI!, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I was thrilled to see my old friends Nancy and Mark, and their almost 4 son Anthony this weekend. Poor Anthony started running a fever, so he slept a lot. I am quite amazed at Anthony's language skills! I've met some 5 and 6 year olds (and some 30+ year olds) who can't put together sentences that complex. Brenden meowed for Nancy - I'm so proud of him! He also demonstrated quite aptly why we call him 'Monkey-boy'; some of his climbing feats were giving even Anthony grey hairs.

I made Jonathan some General Tso's Chicken for Father's day and let Brenden scribble all over a card I picked out. And like a jackass I forgot to call my dad. He's supposed to come visit this coming weekend.

What I'm Watching (in hi-def!)

My favorite High Definition channel is hands-down the Discovery HD channel, especially Sunrise Earth. This show is on at 6 am and it's simply mornings on earth somewhere. This morning they had hot air balloon morning in Vermont. It's gorgeous to watch.

I also like the Universal HD channel, because they keep showing nifty movies. I recently watched The Andromeda Strain, which is showing its age (1971), but is still a totally watchable thriller about scientists racing the clock trying to find the nature of an organism that came to earth aboard a satellite and wiped out an entire town.

Then there is Jaws, and I think I have documented sufficiently why this is still one of my all-time favorite movies. And the high definition really brought out details I haven't seen since I originally saw it in the theaters, like during the night attack on Quint's boat: The floats attached to the shark are agitating phosphorescent plankton as they are being dragged through the water, and during long shots you can see shooting stars in the sky.

I saw bits and pieces of Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith on the HBO HD channel. I'm still amazed that George Lucas got such uniformly stiff and wooden performances from such decent actors, but those space battles sure are pretty!

Brenden made me watch some Nascar race sunday afternoon, because he was attracted to the cars on the ESPN HD channel. Fortunately he lost interest after about 5 minutes or so so I went back to watch the Braves get beaten by the Indians on a non-HD channel.

Helping Mom With the Brewing

helping mom, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I'm brewing again because I desparately need a hobby.

A couple of weeks ago I did a quick inventory of my brewing equipment. I still had a couple of plastic bucket fermenters but decided to replace them because they have been used storing all sorts of fun lawn or pool chemicals for the last 3 years. I went online and I found the best of both worlds - a plastic carboy that will hold 6 gallons. I had a 6.5 gallon glass carboy that my husband broke - he denies it but I *know* it was him so I bought a bucket, and I hated it because I couldn't see what was going on during fermentation. See photo - top left for what a carboy is.

So I bought this new plastic carboy -lightweight and unbreakable, and I can peek in at what is going on without having to take the lid off.

I bought a buttload of new stuff just because, including a new hydrometer, 2 freezer thermometers, and a digital cook thermometer. I also bought a new wort chiller because my old one looks like someone sat on it and I'm not into wasting time trying to work the kinks out of copper tubing.

I should remember to order my yeast separately because even though all my supplies arrived 2 days after I ordered it, my big box o' stuff rode around in an UPS delivery truck all day and my *live* yeast pack was decidedly warm.

Still I worried for nothing. This live yeast pack comes with an inner pack of yeast nutrients. You smack the pack, the nutrient pack breaks, and you wait 3 hours and the pack should start to swell with activity. Mine swelled just fine.

My first job was washing everything real well, including scrubbing my old aluminum cook kettle. It took me 2 and a half hours to get that thing presentable. I was also soaking everything in a bleach solution (tubing, racking cane, funnel, stirring spoon) in one of my old fermenting buckets. I then set up a siphon from the old bucket to my new see-through carboy and Brenden decided he was completely fascinated with siphons. He, my kitchen floor, and 6-8 towels were sanitized along with all of my brewing gear (it was 1tbsp clorox to 5 gallons of water. I wasn't afraid of B poisoning himself).

I waited until the evening to actually do the boil. Having Monkey-boy gallavanting around me while I'm trying to boil 5 gallons of sugar water on a propane burner is not my idea of safe brewing. Once el jefe was safely tucked away in his crib I fired her up and got a 5-gallon batch of Irish Red ale a boiling.

I chose Irish Red because it's one of my favorites- I think I have made 1 batch of Irish Red for every 3 batches of beer I've ever brewed (American Cream Ale is my next favorite). I'm very comfortable with making this even if I did get a lot of malted barley grain all over my kitchen when I opened the bag too fast.

Anyway I got hammered while drinking Sam Adams but still managed to get the hops into the wort (the sugar water), the wort boiled, then cooled, then transferred to the carboy without mishap. I pitched the yeast, threw the stopper with the airlock on and put it in my keg freezer at a comfy 68 degrees. Then I stumbled to bed after making sure I at least washed everything enough to get the sugar off.

The next day I peek into the freezer and see a nice head of foam on the wort (that was some perky yeast! Usually it takes about 24 hours to see that much activity), but oddly the airlock isn't burbling - I won't go into detail, but the airlock is designed to let co2 escape during fermentation but not allow other gasses / bugs / critters in. It should bubble with yeast activity like that.

I figure out I forgot a vital part of the airlock when I was assembling everything the night before. I found it, rinsed it off in peach-flavored Vodka (about the only thing that crap is good for) and put it in the airlock. Bubbles ahoy. Now I just hope no bugs or critters got in while this part was missing.

I'm going to bottle this batch - it will probably give me the incentive to get off my butt and clean and sanitize my corny kegs, and get my co2 bottles filled because bottling is a pain in the butt. I was disgruntled to find out my 16 ounce flip-top bottles(think Grolsh bottles) had disappeared because they made bottling just a touch easier.

Next up: I'll probably do a cream ale and keg it, then I think I'll try something more ambitious. I'm thinking an India Pale Ale (lots of hops + a high gravity brew - high gravity means there's a wagonload of malt sugar in the wort therefore lots of alcohol).

Someday I want to move from extract brewing to all-grain brewing. Brenden will definitely have to be older because that takes a full day, from mashing the grains (not what it sounds like) to pitching the yeast.

Next time I brew I'll take photos so you all will know what the hell I'm talking about.

Pointless Chicken Photo

Rooster and hens, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I am sorry to see that Helly's dad has passed away. It makes me thankful that I've spent more time with my dad since Brenden was born. I'm not sure what else I can say about that.

For the first time in 3 years I brewed a batch of beer last weekend. It's currently burping merrily away in my kegorator. I'm going to bottle it, which is a pain in the butt, in about a week or two, as soon as it stops fermenting.

New Brenden phrases: "Uh oh! Woe! Uh oh, Woe!" No, he's not an end-of-times prophet, he's just telling my my cell phone is ringing. "Peas! Peas! Peas!" What he now says when he wants something. It beats his old "Uh. Uh uh uh uh! Uh! UH!" phrase.

Yeah, I don't have much to say. I watched The Sopranos finale and I was happy with the ending. Some people think Tony got whacked. Nonsense. Half the fun of the Sopranos was all the little details like music, movies, books, etc that seemed incidental never were. What Journey song was Tony listening to at the end of the episode/season/series?

Working hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Paying anything to roll the dice
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

Tony and family, and Family, keep on keeping on. Seems self-evident to me.

2 Years Ago...

Thinking, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I went back and corrected a few of the entries for the last meme I posted. I have indeed performed on stage, and I have also had surgery performed on my body. In 2 instances I have lovingly and in detail blogged about the surgical procedures.

We took Brenden to a new place in Decatur called "Off the Walls". It's for kids and it's an indoor playground, featuring many of those inflatable things that kids can jump on, slide off, etc. When we walked in with Brenden, judging by the expression on his face you would have thought the Valkyries had taken him to Valhalla a wee bit early.

We forgot the camera, unfortunately. Because Jon still has a busted foot I got to crawl, slide, climb, and play with El Jefe for 2 1/2 hours. I had fun, but my body sounded like a bowl of Rice Crispies.

Jon took B to his 2 year well-baby appointment. He is 30.4 pounds and 37 inches tall. He is big for his age!

NO WAI, originally uploaded by Women, Fire & Dangerous Things.

Meme time! This is one of those "have you ever" memes, and you answer by bolding the ones you've done:

1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink Small bar, thank goodness.
2. Swam with dolphins
3. Climbed a mountain I'm not going to assume they mean "on foot".
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
6. Held a tarantula
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
8. Said "I love you" and meant it
9. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game Braves vs. Twins! 1991 World Series!
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity - If I have given anything, I have to assume it's what I could afford
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign Don't ask I'm ashamed.
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs Some of these are stupid
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an expert
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Eaten fugu (pufferfish)
89. Had a one-night stand
90. Gone to Thailand
91. Bought a house
92. Been in a combat zone
93. Buried one/both of your parents
94. Been on a cruise ship
95. Spoken more than one language fluently
96. Performed in Rocky Horror Picture Show
97. Raised children In the process of..
98. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge - I drove it
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds (45.5 kilograms)
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart - I don't think so
111. Ridden a bike
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol Yes, yes, and yes
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach -ew!
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one important author who you missed in school, and read Many
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life - Unknown, but I have donated blood quite often, and being 0 neg (universal donor), I would hope someone got some use out of it!

Looking for trouble

Looking for trouble, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Letter to Brenden Month 24

Happy Birthday, child of mine. I hope you enjoy your chocolate cake with vanilla icing and Spongebob thingies poking out of it all over the top. I wish I were there to eat it with you. ‹/mommy guilt›

Your physical skills, both gross and fine motor skills, are a quantum leap ahead of where you were this time last year. You climb everything you possibly can, which is a major hassle because I'm having to lock you out of the kitchen some times to keep you off the dishwasher, the table, the counters. I had kittens when you came out of the kitchen waving a knife around. I know that knife was in the knife block, well away from the edge of the counter!

You have improved your vocabulary, and as I have written previously, you overload the meanings of words because you have so few of them and that is classical toddler behavior.

I have noticed other words:

"Chayah!" Which means chair. Usually you say this when you are hungry and are ready to sit down and eat.

"Dowah! Door, which usually means the fridge door. You are mastering the habit of standing there, looking in the fridge, trying to decide what you want. I recall this habit irritating the piss out of my mom. Payback is hell.

"Shoo shoo!" Choo-choo, or your train set. You overload this one to mean just about any toy with wheels except airplanes. Speaking of:

"Ayahplagh" (Really!) This is your new attempt to say airplane. You also say "Keeat" instead of "keetee" when referring to the cat now.

I'm sure you have a much larger vocabulary than I'm giving you credit for, honey. Give me time, I'm learning.

Da da na na meow

Pool side, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

A new lesson in Brendenspeak:

Yesterday Brenden told me "Da da na na meow!"

It is important, when translating Brendenspeak to know the context. Brenden and I were outside, next to the hot tub.

"Da Da" translates to "parent person". It is either me, or Jon. This one word doesn't change meaning much with context unlike the other 5-6 words in his vocabulary.

"Na na", derived from "night night", has come to mean "pick me up and place me (x)". Since we always say "night night" to him when we pick him up and place him in his crib, it doesn't take too much to understand where this new definition came from.

"Meow!" Something to drink, or liquid, depending on context. In this case it meant the hot tub.

So to put it all together, Brenden said: "Mom, pick me up and put me in the hot tub!"

We spent an hour splishing around in there. The pool is crystal clear, but too doggone cold right now.

This flower has nothing to do with this post

hisbiscus, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I had a good time in Michigan. It was nice to be able to relax, unwind, and get tanked without having to chase Brenden about. It was good to see Hector again, as well as his brother Victor and their always cool parents. I will post pictures eventually. I don't know if any of them are worth posting. I blame the beer.

My brother and his hilarious wife Jen were there, as well as mom and Price. I was also happy to see Hector's friend Dave there - counting him, Ed, Hector, and Victor, it was a reunion of my old Dungeons and Dragons group. I definitely hope some of those photos come out! I'll write more later.

I met Victor's fiance, Kim. They're getting married next month! I wish they had spaced it out more because I can't go.

This wedding was the second I've been to where I have seen a Shrek wedding cake topper. It makes sense - Shrek is the most romantic movie to have come out in a long time.

Speaking of movies, I saw Spider-man III Saturday before the wedding. I concur with Nancy: it's a better movie than the critics are giving it credit for. It's not as good as the second movie, and there was way too much jammed in there, but overall I was very happy because Sam Raimi did not forget that the first two movies were about Peter, MJ, and Harry and he brought the story to a satisfying (and open-ended) conclusion.

Brenden did something pretty cute Sunday: he dragged a teddy bear out of his room, put him on the couch laying down with his head on a pillow. Then he pulled a small comforter we keep on the couch over his bear, patted it on the back, and said "ni-ni! Ni-ni!" (night- night).