I was writing another piece about politics but deleted it after it depressed me too much. Then I read this article that sums up what I was wanting to say: What he said.

Jon and I are probably going up to Gatlinburg for vacation this year. The times we have been up there we have enjoyed it. I highly recommend the Ripley's attractions, especially the haunted house and the aquarium. On the whole I'd rather go to the Caribbean again, but we probably won't have the money.

Speaking of, I want to go to Puerto Rico for our next prohibitively expensive vacation. I lived in Puerto Rico from 1967 to 1977 (from when I was 3 to when I was 13) and I'd like to go there to see what I remember. And that brings us to my top 10 list of the day:

Top 10 Good Puerto Rico Memories

10: The ocean was my back yard
When we lived in Isla Verde, which is a tourist strip near San Juan, our apartment building was right there on the beach. Kids do *not* appreciate what they have. I certainly didn't until we moved to Stone Frickin Mountain, Georgia and I couldn't hear the ocean any more.

9: Dad's Sailboat Excursions
I have soooo many fragmented memories of sailboats. I much prefer them to motor boats because the noise is different. Any way my dad had a boat, or boats, or partnerships in boats, or something like that and I loved those trips. I'll have to ask him about those one day.

8: Tropical Storms
The wrath of nature is kewl! The best thing was when it rained so hard the floors of the walkways to the apartments were slippery. Us kids would have built in slip n' slides.

7: Empanadillas, lechon, and bacalaitos
Some people find Puerto Rican food bland. I don't know what they're smoking. Or eating. I love Puerto Rican food! Even Mofongo.

6: My Dad's Wife's Parent's House in Yauco
Dad divorced mom and married a Puerto Rican woman. Yeah, If I have a top 10 list of bad Puerto Rico memories, the divorce is number 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, and 9. Number 10 - well, we won't talk about that one.
Anyhow, Eleana's parents were real nice to us and I feel bad I didn't talk with them much. Do I ever? I was shocked to discover that because I wouldn't talk with anyone I was considered stuck up. Excuse me, are there any SHY hispanics? Hello??? Aparently not.

But I digress yet again: they had a nifty house in Yauco near the ocean. There were cliffs all along the ocean and I'd scale them like Spider-Man all the time.

Oh! I like Eleana. I admire her for putting up with my dad for a quarter of a century. I love my dad, don't get me wrong, but he's a LOT like me. I feel sorry for anyone who marries a Boykin.

5: El Yunque
The tropical rain forest. Not only is it beautiful, it was the only place on the island that is naturally cold. Not *that* cold, but to me it was pretty dang chilly.

4: Sand Forts
Like kids with snow forts. Yes, we had sand ball fights, and some one inevitably ran upstairs screaming because he/she got sand in his/her eyes. *Hah!* None of us got frost bite. You haven't lived until you gouge sand out of every orfice you own.

3: Old San Juan
When I was a kid I was besotted with the ideas of pirates. Arr! Old San Juan was originally enclosed, with a couple of forts guarding the entrance into San Juan Harbor (from pirates! and the English). El Morro and San Cristobal were the two I remember. I got a huge kick out of those places.

2: Climbing palm trees
I could scale one like a monkey. Yes, I climbed anything I could get a grip on.

1: The Ocean
Some people who grew up near the Atlantic don't appreciate warm, clear, tropical waters. Okay it wasn't always warm or clear, but I spent so much time in the ocean it never held any fear for me. I stayed out when the jellyfish would beach themselves, but I never got stung. I knew to stay away from mustard coral and sea urchins. And sharks are not that big a threat where the water is clear. And someone once told me the barracuda chase them off. And barracuda aren't really a threat, either.

Oh, shit. I'm really getting fired up about going there again. I do intellectually realize that after 27 (27?!!? Holy Shite!) years nothing will be the same, but I gotta see.

Oh, all right: #10 bad memory from Puerto Rico: Disco followed me to the states. Yeaargh!

What a weekend. We had for the first time this year two perfect days at the drop zone. In total I think we flew 22 loads which is great. Of course, some work has to be done on our King Air's right engine fuel pump now; so much for building that nest egg.

I did 8 jumps; 2 AFF and 6 fun jumps. I need to get on the ball if I want 1,000 jumps before May 17 (43 jumps to go). Many of our younger jumpers (younger in jump numbers, not age) are expressing an interest in formation skydiving so I'm thinking I better have a formation workshop soon. I see them getting in groups that are too big and / or trying out formations that are too difficult for their skill level and it discourages them.

Here is my random link of the week. Mike Rogers is an American who moved to Japan. His mother is Japanese; he has pretty much adopted her native country. His articles are amusing, and sometimes scathing, anecdotes about his adopted country and the one he left behind.

I will warn you that LewRockwell.com is a libertarian site. Many of the contributors are Christian libertarian, which can make anybody's bowtie spin. If you peruse it, just remember these guys won't support any legislation that would outlaw something you like to do because they severely dislike government on general principles.

And as much as I dislike politics, here are 10 random political thoughts:

1: That Kerry guy... what do you stand for?
2: That Bush guy... I am very glad that meatpacker Hussein is behind bars. I still don't follow the connection between him and Al-Qaida, though.
3: Astronaut vs. caveman = definitely the caveman would win in a stand-up fight, but the one astronaut I know isn't stupid enough to stand around and let a caveman bash his head in.
4: I'd like to smoke pot for my own enjoyment. Too bad it's darn illegal. Pass me a beer, wouldya? Sometimes I think I should smoke on general principles but my athsma wouldn't handle it too well.
5: Why do people care about the money other people make? Someone is enviously looking at your pockets as I type.
6: The Free State Project chose New Hampshire. It's COLD up there!
7: Any political/social system that does not take human nature into account is doomed to failure. That includes my beloved libertarianism, which is why I vote and support a limited government. I *do* feel like I'm paying tribute to the moral equivalent of Tony Soprano, however.
8: I'm glad I don't live in Georgia any more, because I would feel morally obligated to get my clitoris pierced. Owie.
9: Which is hypocritical of me because I *do* live in Alabamastan where a vibrator is illegal. Maybe if I leer at the zucchini at the local Farmer's market I can get busted by the cops.
10: I think I'm beginning to understand why flesh-eating zombies and cannibals fascinate and frighten me so much.

And here's another amusing tid bit: I had a sexually explicit dream last night featuring Spider-Man and Batman. My brain likes to torment me for its own amusement.

I didn't write the last two days because I had nothing to say.

But, I *did* see Dawn of the Dead yesterday, so now I do!

Top 10 Reasons Dawn of the Dead kicked ass:

10: The soundtrack
They dug up that old Jim Carroll classic "People who've died" for the closing credits, as well as Disturbed's "Down with the sickness". I own a Disturbed album. I got it because of their re-make of Tears for Fears' "Shout" but I like it nontheless. And "Down with the sickness" rocks. So does Lounge Against the Machine's version of the same song, which makes an appearance about a third of the way through the movie.

The nice thing is they don't overdo it. Most of the time the music is unobtrusive. Sometimes you get a metal soundtrack and the damn thing is so annoying it kicks you out of the movie.

9: Johnny Cash
Maybe I should list him with the soundtrack, but they played "Man Comes Around" over the opening credits. Kewl!

8: Scott Reiniger and Ken Foree cameos
They were two of the actors who appeared in the original. It was a nice touch; Ken got to repeat his famous line about no more room in Hell. Gaylen Ross, who played Fran in the original, didn't want to do a cameo but in honor of her they named one of the stores in the mall after her. I don't know if David Emge made a cameo, or not. I didn't see him credited anywhere.

7:Tom Savini cameo
Tom Savini is 'Da Man' and made a career out of realistic make-up effects. He also has done some acting. He appears here as a sherriff on tv (a nod to Night of the Living Dead) explaining that a head shot is the only way to bring a zombie down. It's always kewl to see Savini (last seen as 'Sex Machine' in From Dusk til Dawn which owes its pedigree to Romero somewhat, as well).

6: Sarah Polley, Jake Weber and Ving Rhames
They played the leads. The movie had a bunch of people in it and I can't tell you any of their names (except Rhames' cop was named 'Ken' and there was a guy named 'Andy'. More on him later). I have a memory from Hell, anyway. Polley plays a nurse who is obviously scared, but can think on her feet without going into SuperChick mode. Jake Weber has this ordinairy face and plays a concientious, nice guy who tries hard to think straight in a real tough situation. Rhames is a no-nonsense cop who doesn't take charge as much as tries to cope.

Despite minimal character development, these actors did a fine job bringing some distinction to their characters and making us feel for them. Like I said, there's tons of other characters, including an ex-gangsta and his pregnant Russian wife, three security guards from the Mall that everyone flees to (is it my imagination, or do mall security guards get no respect?), and a truckload of zombie fodder. Some of these characters get some character-defining moments, others are just there.

5: Stupid chainsaw tricks
I'll leave it at that. Saying more would be a spoiler.

4: Andy
Across from the Mall is a guy who owns a gunstore who is trapped in his store by himself. He and the mall denizens strike up a long-distance friendship using whiteboards and binoculars. He and Ken especially bond. He is a likable character, and we don't even get to spend much time with him close up. Some of the saddest and most chilling scenes in this movie involve him.

But I'm singling him out because he's a GUN STORE OWNER!! Since when did Hollywood allow a gun store owner to be portrayed as such a likeable person? Don't they have a law against that? Isn't he supposed to be a narrow-minded redneck?

3: Zombie head in the ice chest
Okay, that was a spoiler. But *heh*!

2: It scared me.
Now it wasn't pure horror terror scary, but I was on edge. And yes, I had zombie nightmares. I'm wondering if the Ephedrine I'm taking didn't have some to do with it. It puts me on edge, ups my aggressiveness, and definitely makes me jumpy. I was holding onto my husband's arm pretty tight during this movie. As someone else said, this movie owes as much to James Cameron as to George Romero. This movie reminded me some of Aliens, especially when our little group decided to get out of Dodge.

You might think I'm touched, but I thank whatever God that exists that I can still have these kinds of reactions to stupid movies. I know it isn't real, but I love the fact that for little chunks of time, I can forget that and just let my emotions take me wherever the movie goes.

1: Zombies! Zombies, zombies, zombies!!!
And they died (again) and in many varied squishy ways. The original DoD was ultra-gory and was released un-rated (I was 15 at the time. My sister Andrea and I spent quite a while finding a theater that would let us in). I was surprised (and happy) at the amount of gore this movie had. I'm sure on subsequent viewings I will find out that I imagined much more than I saw. The kewl news is the director has promised to put back what he had to cut out to get an 'R' rating. Nifty!

This movie wasn't perfect, but damn it filled my flesh-eating zombie needs just fine. My biggest nit is they really had no reason to leave the mall. As someone on a forum pointed out, they were in Minne - freaking -sota. The first nasty storm of the winter and you would have nothing but zombie-sickles to walk past. But that's a *small* nit. If people didn't do dumbass things in horror movies, there'd be no movie.

I'd write more, but I actually have to work now. *Whine*.

Nothing much to say today. Tuesday means Back and Biceps day at the gym. I quit taking Albuterol before I run in the mornings - I've had to slow down some but not much. I was running 1.9 miles in 20 minutes now I'm down to 1.7. Albuterol by the way is for athsma.

I weighed in this morning at 127.4. I'm happy with that; everything is proceeding as planned, so far.

Boy that was short. Why bother posting anything at all today? Force of habit, I guess.

Top 10 things I found out about since the last time I wrote:

10) My 18 year old cat is stone deaf.

9) There is a Love Boat - the Movie in preproduction.

8) Chris Eccleston is slated to be the next Dr. Who.

7) The History Channel will be showing Band of Brothers starting on April 17th.

6) The asprin component of the ECA stack may not be neccessary.

5) Pool of Radiance may be the most boring Computer Role playing game based on a Dungeons and Dragons rule set.

4) Do not order drugs from Amazon.com.

3) Politics and politicians are still boring and depressing.

2) Repair work to Mobile homes can be expensive.

1) "I think every movie should have at least one flesh-eating zombie." Sarah Polley is my new hero.

Monday. Four weeks into the latest diet.

The ECA stack seems to be working; it has curbed my appetite big time. So well I was alarmed on Saturday when I stepped on the scale at 127.2. Probably just dehydration.

Nothing special about this weekend; did a ground school Saturday and neither student got to jump because of the winds. I did 2 skydives, both fun jumps, and they went real well. One was a 9 point 6-way formation - I don't know if I ever explained that terminology. X - way simply means how many people were on the skydive. So a 6 - way is 6 people. 9 points means we did 9 different formations. Usually we practice four or five different points on the ground, then cycle through them until we run out of time/air.

Heh. What does skydiving and scuba diving have in common? In both sports if you run out of air, you're fucked.

The other dive was a 4-way 14 point formation. Sunday the winds were bad enough to ground me so I did nothing.

So I pigged out on Saturday, did not stay away from beer, and I weighed 131.4 on Sunday. I weighed 129.2 today. I did not Stack over the weekend; the last thing I need to do is do a skydive while under the influence of Ephedrine. I took the stack this morning and headed to the gym.

More humor - in honor of the jokes Nancy posted on her blog:

Why do all the trees in Alabama lean towards Birmingham? Because Alabama sucks!

Okay, that was plenty lame. I'm very fond of my adopted state, although I hate the dry county crap.

Did not watch anything of notice although Sunday I did watch the new South Park episode. As a somtimes Anime fan I laughed my ass off. Parker and Stone even got the ubiquitous and unremarkable Japanese pop song right - along with the occasional Engrish phrase thrown in (although I don't recall ever hearing the phrase 'protect my balls' in a japanese song before). And I'd love to know what those Japanese subtitles were really saying. I'll give it a few days and the translation will show up on the internet.

Yeah, I laugh at Engrish. I also laugh at Cartman's Jew jokes. I'm a bad person.

Well, hey. The ephedrine killed my appetite. It must be something of a diuretic because I weighed in at 128.6 (I weighed 129.8 yesterday). It also behaves a little like speed, so you get a wandering dissertation from me today:

Zombies

I have made it painfully clear: my favorite monster in the movie world is the mindless, flesh-eating zombie. I make the 'flesh-eating' distinction because in the years BR (Before Romero), movie zombies were simply re-animated corpses that did their master's bidding. When Night of the Living Dead came out, it combined the mindlessness of the zombie with the appetite of a ghoul.

A quick backtrack for a minute: Ghouls traditionally don't feast on the flesh of the living; they feast on other dead bodies. Ghouls typically hang out at cemetaries. A more apt comparison would be a vampire. Vampires need warm, living humans for food but only drink blood. How discrete. Vampires are a wildly popular monster because they can have feelings, personality, and can form attachments to the very people they prey upon. They can also be the unrepentant embodiment of evil, but what it boils down to is they are intelligent.

Zombies however, just are. They are a collection of half-rotted instincts coupled with intense hunger. (Why they are hungry for living flesh is never explained in George Romero's movies; other people have tried to explain it with varying degrees of success). Zombies have no attachments. If your mom or brother or daughter or lover becomes a flesh-eating zombie, it simply doesn't care about you any more. You are food. Don't take it personally.

So George Romero started a new type of movie monster with his flesh-eating zombies. Night of the Living Dead gave a half-assed explanation for the reanimation of the recently dead: something about some space radiation from a satellite that re-entered the atmosphere. Besides the horror of cadavers reanimating and shambling slowly towards you, the only way they can be stopped is by destroying the brain. Worse, if you happen to be bit by one of these monstrosities, the resulting infection will kill you and you become one of them.

Romero's zombies are slow-moving and easily stopped; what makes them so nasty is when they show up in large numbers. NotLD was the first: a group of survivors hole up in a farm house during the night, trying to figure out what is going on and what to do about it. The little group's downfall is not really from the zombies; it's from their inability to get along and work together.

Dawn of the Dead came out in 1979. The violence in this movie is downright pornographic: memorable scenes includes someone's head blowing up from a shotgun blast, a zombie biting chunks of flesh from someone's arm and neck, a bunch of zombies eviscerating a live and concious victim with their bare hands... and I listed this movie as one of my favorites!

Heck yeah, the violence level is part of it. For me it's one impressive magic trick. The effects from this movie are remarkably realistic (not that I've ever seen someone get the top of his head chopped off with a helicopter blade for real). Between some of the most brutal splatter effects in existence, we have yet another rag-tag group of survivors who this time hole up in a shopping mall. Their downfall is trying to hold onto the material goods that they had access to when another group of survivors show up to raid the place.

Day of the Dead is considered by many to be Romero's weakest zombie movie. Personally I like this one better than NotLD but not by much. The special effects are as brutal as Dawn's, and with a slightly larger budget, the make-up team's zombie effects were far more varied and interesting. This time our group of survivors are a group of soldiers and a group of scientists holed up together in an underground military installation. The scientists are trying to find a cause and a cure; the soldiers' discipline is going to hell and they want to get the hell out.

One of the hallmarks of all 3 movies (for me) are relatively realistic people. I could identify with all of them, even the loudmouth jerk in NotLD. But Romero lost a little by making the soldiers too comic-book rude, offensive, and all-around assholes. But he recovers some in my eyes because the woman in this movie is my favorite. She's a scientist; unlike the (understandably) catatonic Barbara in NotLD and the quite pregnant Fran in DoD she has more of an interesting role to play.

Oh yeah; once again the downfall of our little group is the inability to cooperate.

Tom Savini, the man responsible for the make-up effects in Dawn and Day directed a remake of Night of the Living Dead in 1990. Most people consider it far inferior to the original, but I have a soft spot in my skull for it. I don't think the characters are as well developed, although Tony Todd's Ben is as sympathetic as Duane Jones is. And Barbara isn't catatonic for the whole damn film! That was a welcome change although she goes a little too SuperChick for the role. And despite Savini directing, it isn't that gruesome. But hey: it's a zombie movie.

Peter Jackson, beloved director of Lord or the Rings, cut his teeth on independent movies, including his hommage to Romero's zombies with Dead Alive. I say hommage and not ripoff because it is quite firmly planted in Peter Jackson Land. Young Lionel's overbearing mother gets bitten by a Sumatran Rat Monkey and dies from the bite and reanimates as a flesh-eating corpse. Hilarity ensues as Lionel tries to keep the fact that his mother is a zombie away from everyone, including his new girlfriend. There is gore aplently in this movie, including pus-eating incidents, a reanimated set of intestines, random acts of violence against a garden gnome, and quisinarted zombie hands. All with Jackson's trademark sense of humor intact.

Most recently (other than the Dawn remake which comes out today), Resident Evil was inflicted on us zombie lovers. Resident Evil was based on a successful series of video games which were loosely based on George Romero's trilogy. It just wasn't that good. Uninteresting characters and not enough gore. Still, I own a copy on DVD. Hey, it has Michelle Rodriguez in it!

The Italians got ahold of Dawn of the Dead and went to town. Most notably was Zombie, which includes a zombie attacking a shark underwater (shark wins, of course) and a nice closup of a woman's eye being gouged with a wooden splinter. Tons of Italian horror movie ripoffs exist; IMDb on the names Mario Bava and Lucio Fulci for starters. Just don't expect anything too sublime.

Return of the Living Dead is a fun riff on the Romero zombies. The zombies in this movie are only interested in brains, can speak (to a certain extent) and are much harder to kill (you don't really kill them; you just hack them up enough so they can't move any more). I never saw the 2 sequels to this movie but I do recommend the first one.

This selection of movies is by no means complete. If you dig around on the web you can find what is reportedly the original script to Day of the Dead (completely different than the movie filmed). Plus I haven't even mentioned the amount of fiction, including web-based fan fiction that is set in the Romero universe. Homepage of the Dead is one of my favorite sites for fan fiction and movie news. You know when you have created a phenomena when Stephen King writes fan fiction for your universe.

Quick note for today:

I think I found a way around the cravings which did hit me hard yesterday. I was able to stay below maintenence calorie-wise, but just barely.

Anyway, the way around: an ECA stack.

ECA stacks are ephedra (or ephedrine), caffeine, and asprin. This 'stack' of chemicals is supposed to be thermogenic; in other words it's supposed to ramp up your metabolism.

I know what you are saying: "Wait a minute - ephedra. Wasn't that banned?" Yep. Ephedra is the herbal variety. Ephedrine is not banned and easily available over the counter in athsma medications.

Most pre-made ECA stacks are no longer available, but I can whip up a homemade one with 2 Primatene tablets, 2 cups of coffee, and half an adult asprin.

Since I have moderate athsma, Ephedrine and I go back a long ways so I don't think the side effects will bother me that much. I also plan not to OVERDOSE, like that idiot baseball player that had heart problems.

By the way, it's not the thermogenic effects that interest me - it's the appetite suppresant effects.

Arg!

Rough couple of days at work. It feels like I can come up for air for a little bit, though.

Monday night Jon and I went out for dinner. I had blackened catfish, a salad, and steamed veggies, but I still ate more than I had wanted to. Tasty, though.

Tuesday I weighed in at 131.6. Went to the gym, blah blah blah, ate okay, blah blah blah.

Today I weighed in at 130. I'm also starting to experience those really annoying cravings I was talking about. Why?

Is it because of the stress? That could be.
Is it because I am pre-menstrual? Very well could be.
Is it because I'm in the middle of week 4 and I'm a weenie-head when it comes to willpower? Erm, most likely, yes.

It's going to be a long day.

Speaking of long, we watched A Bridge Too Far, a war movie about the ill-fated invasion of Holland in 1944. Quickly, the Allied commanders wanted to figure out a way to end the war before Christmas to they dropped just about everything airborne qualified into Nazi-occupied Holland along this one road that included a bunch of bridges. Each Airborne division was supposed to capture and protect a specific set of bridges. The British had to try to capture and hold the furthest bridge, in Arnhem, which lead over the Rhine. To make a long story short, the British dropped 10,000 and only 2000 came back. The rest were killed or captured.

The movie was pretty tough on the English; I was surprised that Richard Attenborough directed it. For most of its three-hour length I was captivated but it kind of dragged at the end. Interesting cast, including the Usual Suspects: Michael Caine, Anthony Hopkins, Gene Hackman, Robert Redford, Dirk Bogarde, Maximillian Schell, Lawrence Master! Thespian! Olivier, Elliot Gould, James Caan, Sean Connery, etc etc etc.

I was impressed with the special effects; the drop scenes intrigued me - did they get a bunch of airborne troops to actually drop or was some sort of effect used? Pre-CGI movies can be so cool. I thought it was plotted well enough to be able to tell what was happening and to whom. I'd rank this with The Great Escape as the best war movie I've seen lately.

I also saw the first 10 minutes of Dawn of the Dead, the remake. USA was kind enough to show it during Final Destination which I didn't bother to watch.

There's a lot of word wars going on about DoD and its remake; I was not interested about any remake of perhaps the finest flesh-eating zombie movie in existence. I keep hearing decent to good things about the remake, however; and the first 10 minutes I saw pretty much sealed my decision to go see it.

The new version's scriptwriter changed some rules (was he influenced by 28 Days Later..? I don't care). The zombies, at least the freshly animated ones, are fast. They also reanimate not too soon after death. Some people bitched about the changes, I think they're neat. The first 10 minutes introduces us to a nurse who goes home one evening to her husband and wakes up to a really messed-up world. First a reanimated next-door-neighbor's kid shows up in their house and takes a chunk out of her husband's neck. He bleeds to death while the nurse desperately tries to get through to 911 services. He pops up maybe a minute after biting it and tries to bite her. She manages to escape outside and gets in her car and sees all kinds of messed up crap going on outside.

I had that delighted* sense of dread and terror I only get with certain horror movies, so I have high hopes for the rest of the film. Oh! I also had a nightmare about it last night. Too cool. I never get nightmares from movies except those about flesh-eating zombies.

*As opposed to that suck-assed sense of dread and terror that happens when you are about to be in a car accident or a really big crazy guy starts picking on you or you throw out your pilot chute and nothing happens or the current is too strong for your swimming skills or...

Oh, yeah!

Two new links over there--------------------->

Finally got around to posting a permanent link to James Lileks' blog; plus I just found Alton Brown's. I'm especially amused at his recent journal entry about Martha Stewart. I share some of his attitude towards her. Except I don't think she's hot.

I had a pretty interesting weekend.

On Saturday I got up, did a 2.25 mile run in Sparkman Park. Along the way I named the park's resident wildlife (9-10 cats; they look like they are cared for). It was my first official 'cheat' day so I did some calculations and made my dinner. It was basically chicken and rice - I had forgotten just how much rice is produced from 1 cup of dry long grain. It had some spices in it like garlic and turmeric.

The ground school was uneventful - only one person and he was fairly heads up so his first jump was not eventful. I did one other jump on Saturday, a coach jump with a woman who hadn't jumped since November.

What made Saturday fairly interesting was I met Brian Germain, who came down to teach a course in canopy control. I wanted to attend, but I had the ground school. Mr. Germain is a big name in skydiving; I tried to find an appropriate analogy - it's not like meeting Oliver or Wilbur Wright, maybe more like meeting Chuck Yeager but Yeager I don't think designs airplanes.

Nice guy. Awful cute, too; damn shame there's no picture of his face on his website. I let him jump my Sabre 120 (he didn't bring his own gear). Wish I landed my canopy that gracefully.

Saturday night, after I drank some liquid courage, I got to talk to him about a bunch of things. I don't get starry-eyed when meeting someone famous, but a well-known name (coupled with good looks) can intimidate me. I really wish I could have taken the class. I have his textbook which I plan to devour during the week.

I did two jumps Sunday - even though I planned and executed a cheat day, I really need to stay away from the beer. I just don't feel good the next day. The second jump was the nicest formation skydive I have done in a long time - 19 points - but the weather was moving in and even though we could see the ground we were pelted by ice. That *stings*.

Sunday night Jon invited Steve (camera man and friend) over as well as Brian. So I got to cook for 4 people again. I am proud of my cooking skills so I was glad I could do something nice for them (I made Thai Chicken though I was beside myself at the supermarket because I couldn't find any fresh basil). Brian is a cat person and even Big Fat Kitty made an appearance and let himself get petted and loved on.

I'd like to say we ate dinner and had witty conversation around the table but no - Jon has a bunch of South Park episodes on TiVo so we watched them. I'm with Butters: I'd rather be a crying little pussy than a faggy Goth kid.

Enough of my social life: what about the diet?

I weighed in at 129.2 Saturday Morning. Sunday morning I clocked in at 134.6. Pretty good, eh? 4.2 pounds! How the hell much did I eat Saturday?!!?

Not that much, actually. About 2300 calories and that's a generous estimate. If I'm right about my maintenence level, that's about 600-700 calories over maintenence. The massive weight gain is all the water I retained when the carbs I ate were stored as glycogen in my liver and muscles. This was my plan, remember. I did fairly well and stayed away from fat (except for the cheese on the pizza I ate) so I'm fairly sure that very little of what I ate was added on as fat.

But the proof will be in what I weigh once I re-deplete my glycogen stores. Sunday I did no exercise (except the skydiving) but I jumped right back on the lowcarb horse and (this is important) No Cravings! Wierdly, I ate about 680 calories all told yesterday but I did not feel like eating more (I should have).

Today I still weighed 134.6 and I went to the gym and ran 2 miles and did Squats (3 sets 17 reps 75 lbs), Stiff-legged deadlifts (3 sets 17 reps 75 lbs) and seated calf raises (3 sets 10 reps 70 lbs). Why such high reps w/the leg exercises? It's supposed to be good for endurance as well as weight loss. While there's no such thing as spot reduction, resistance training does ramp up the metabolism better than cardio because apparently the protein synthesis that goes on afterwards is energy intensive.

Or so I've been told.

Oh: I went on a bagel hunt on the way to the drop zone Saturday morning and here's a sad fact: I can't swing a dead cat without hitting a gas station/store that sells Krispy Kreme donuts, but I can't find any place that sells single, fresh, bagels! Alabama is so backwards about some things. No, I did not have any of those tender morsels of fried sugar, I wanted a damn bagel! *Sigh*. Next refeed, if I can find a supply.

Eeeyarg. I'd say something stoopid like thank Mannanan MacLlyr it's Friday, but I have a ground school to teach at the drop zone tomorrow morning. Ah, well, it's money; and it will help me forget about food.

I'm not having cravings yet, but I'm definitely feeling hunger more. My Shoulders and Legs workout went fine; matter of fact I felt pretty strong on my Squats and Stiff-Legged Deadlifts.

I woke up a little tired; I did not sleep as deeply as I would have liked. I also got to bed late because hubby and I stayed up to watch Planet of the Apes, Tim Burton's version.

I didn't like it. The ape makeup was good, and I liked the cast. Not only did we get Marky Mark, Helena Bonham-Carter and Micheal Clarke Duncan, I was delighted to see Paul Giamatti, David Warner, and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa listed in the cast. And ex-listee Tim Roth as the Evil Bad Guy. Monkey. Ape. Whatever. I had to go by voices to figure out who was who.

The ending just sucked and the script felt like it was being made up as they were going along. Some of the ape roled were developed but the humans were pretty one-dimensional. Speaking of apes, Helena Bonham-Carter's Chimp was a hoot. She played a human-rights spoiled daughter of a senator; but she had the hots for Mark Wahlberg. Of course, I was smirking and making bestiality jokes; but is love among intelligent, adult, consentual species so wrong? Still, I kept expecting her to pinch his butt.

Which brings me to another complaint about the movie. In the original Chuck Heston paraded around in a loincloth the vast majority of the film (Mr. Heston had a cameo here, as Tim Roth's dad. My favorite scene). Marky Mark stays fully clothed, and I have seen his nekkid bod and he has nothing to be ashamed of. I want to pinch his butt.

And to natter about other movie news, the new Batman movie is actually filming, which is great news. Getting past preproduction is sometimes the biggest hurdle. And the casting news is great; besides Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Morgan Freeman, and Cillian Murphy, they have hired Wanatabe Ken to play the bad guy. Also, rumor has it that Listee Guy Pearce will make an appearance as Harvey Dent. Ooooo! I just love it when I get 2 Listees for the price of one! Harvey Dent eventually becomes the villain Two-Face, played by Tommy Lee Jones in one of the previous batman films. Two-Face is actually a compelling villain; he wakes up every morning and flips a coin to figure out if he's going to be evil or good that day. Jones's Two-Face just sucked, however.

Since Christopher Nolan seems to be receiving my telepathic messages, how about casting Ewan MacGregor as the Joker? Man, I wish I could post photos. He has that predatory grin. How about my beloved flame-headed Damian Lewis as the Riddler? Frank Gorshin was the tops here, and Jim Carrey blew chunks, but still. Can't think of whom Ralph Fiennes could play but I'm sure you could find him something to do!

Ah, Thursdays. Other than my rotator cuff exercises, I get to goof off and not exercise. Tomorrow is shoulders and legs days, the most draining day of the week.

All I (should) do on Saturday is a long run, and Sundays are for goofing. Now that it's getting warmer, I'll be working at the drop zone more on the weekends and that isn't goofing off and it helps me from getting preoccupied with food.

Speaking of food preoccupation: I clocked in at 129.4 pounds this morning. So see, my Sunday night cheat didn't hurt me; I'm still steadily losing.

When I started, I weighed 136. From what I have seen, I lose about 3 pounds of water weight when I eat low carb so I have lost about 3.6 pounds in the last 2 1/2 weeks. That's quite acceptable.

I am contemplating moving my refeed period from Sunday to Saturday night. Saturday night is party time at the drop zone and everybody who hangs around either goes out to eat as a group or orders pizza. Starting the refeed then would allow me to be with them.

Of course the big problem is the food is high fat plus there's plenty of beer around.

Heck, I'll give it a try and see what happens.

Sunday morning I'll have that bagel then I'll get back on the diet hamster wheel.

Sometimes I have to go out of the way and create a more interesting meal than my usual chicken thigh and broccoli dinners. Last night, I made tacos. When I do this I am far more careful with calories counting.

1 lb 7% fat ground turkey
6 oz. diced onion
3 cloves crushed garlic
1 can Ro-Tel diced tomatoes and peppers
Chili Powder
ground cumin
cayenne pepper (or Sriracha sauce or chili garlic paste mmmmmmm)

Brown the turkey; put the onions and garlic in with the turkey while it's browning. If too much water accumulates, spoon some of it out. It doesn't have to be bone dry. add the spices to taste then dump the can (undrained) in there. Add a little water or beef stock if it's too dry. Stir, let it simmer for about 10-15 minutes uncovered, stir occasionally. Let most of the liquid evaporate. (the spices seem to incorportate better if you have at least a little liquid in the beginning).

Now, if you want to go low-low cal and low carb, make a taco salad, I.E. in a bowl put a bunch of shredded lettuce and about an ounce of shredded Monterey Jack or whatever cheese then about 1/4th of this mixture. Add jalepenos and/or salsa (Pace is my favorite) Last night I used 2 low carb tortillas. I also had to use ground chuck because I couldn't find 7% turkey - the gound turkey breast tastes like sawdust to me and the %15 actually has more calories than the chuck.

Anyway, my total damage for that meal was around 540 calories (bringing my total for the day to just under 1,000). I felt pretty stuffed. And meals like this feel like cheating.

Oh, as I continue with my dieting monomania, have I ranted about the When You Eat myth? I used to think that if you stopped eating at like say 5pm, you would lose more weight. Horse poop, if you are eating the same amount of calories as you normally would. If you stop eating at 5pm because that makes you eat less, then yes it works. It does not matter when you eat! If you eat less calories than you burn, you will lose weight.

I was thinking of one aspect of dieting: cravings.

Right now, since it's Thursday, I am feeling some effects of having eaten hypocalorically for the last 4 days. It isn't bad; I feel just a little thready but it isn't hunger. I can think of all kinds of foods and wish I had some but it isn't a true craving. I am not staring at my lunch and drooling. 11 am will come around soon enough. I love this feeling; it means I am handling not eating.

So what causes those cravings? Soon enough, maybe tomorrow, maybe in a few weeks, my brain is going to start talking to me about the Oreos in the snack machine. I will point out that I have no change, and brain will urge me to go search the car. Or go out to the gas station and get $20 out of the ATM. And since I'm at the gas station why don't I pick up some Gardetto's or some beef jerky, since I like those better than Oreos? We can't break the diet I'll say. Brain will say, it's only 250 extra calories, that won't do much damage.

But since I love oreos, once I get back from the gas station and chow on whatever I have bought, I'll be thinking about the extra change in my pockets from that $20 I cashed. Before I know it, the next 3 days will have me spending that $20 all on food which might include 1 or 2 visits to MacDonald's for a Quarter Pounder, large Fry, and a big-assed Dr. Pepper.

I'm so happy all these ideas repulse me right now, but the cravings are coming. They always do.

What causes them? Psychologically, it's probably that we want what we can't have. Human nature. Physiologically, it's probably your body telling you to eat something already, we're starving. Women get a double-whammy because of monthly hormone fluctuations.

I'm hoping the refeed will counterract the cravings, or at least leave them controllable. Hah! We'll see.

If it's Wednesday it must be Chest and Triceps day. My 20 minute run felt good; I'm still not doing a full 2 miles but I am getting better (1.86 miles today). As for the weight training, all of my exercises have been at 3 sets of 12 reps. Next week I'm going to up weight and do 3 sets of 10 reps.

I had started a periodization cycle earlier this year, but the move threw me off. I feel like I'm back in the groove and the diet thingy feels under control, so it's time to start aiming for a little progress in the strength corner.

And little progress it will be, because I'm trying to lose weight. I won't be able to gain muscle while I'm trying to lose fat. It doesn't mean I can't improve my strength, though. Just not that much.

And hey, stepped on the scale:129.8 pounds. Yay! I got past the arbitrarily annoying 130 mark! I'm aiming for the arbitrary 120 mark. 9.8 pounds to go, and 68 days to achieve it (that's my 40th birthday, and that will mark the beginning of my 2 weeks off the diet. AND on that day, I will eat nothing but chocolate cake and drink Irish red Ale! Home brewed, of course. Then I will throw up in front of my friends and embarrass myself. Man, I can't wait!!)

That reminds me...

I've been wanting to regurgitate some of what I have been reading about diets.

First off, all diets in the long run are bad for you. If you eat hypocalorically (in other words, if you eat less than you need to function), you will eventually use up all of your energy stores and you will die. Just ask Karen Carpenter.

All diets are also bad for you because you will not be getting all the nutrients you need. This problem can be side-stepped somewhat by taking a cheap multivitamin.

All diets are also bad for you because since your body thinks it's starving, it will start shutting things down, like your metabolism and your sex drive. 5% bodyfat looks cool, but your body hates it.

And to quote Lyle MacDonald, your body hates you.

Most of what I have learned about ketogenic diets I learned from his book on the subject. Much of what I'll write below came from his book.

Your body doesn't really hate you, it loves you and wants to keep you alive as long as possible. Our bodies have not adapted to the modern diet; indeed it responds to food much in the same way the bodies of our ancestors responded. Because of an uncertain supply of food, our ancestor's bodies stored energy efficiently.

Namely, it is a natural adaptation to put fat on easily (fat is a great storage unit for energy; one pound of fat is equal to 3500 calories, 1 - 2 days worth of energy) and to take it off grudgingly. The fitness models on TV might look hot, but take one of them and an overweight blob and lock both of them away, the fitness model will die of starvation MONTHS before the lardbutt does.

Our bodies are pretty easygoing about energy: it will burn the fuel it has greatest access to. The reason we are getting so bigassed is because we eat so much the body is shunting the fat we eat into fat stores while dumping insulin into our bloodstream to handle all the glucose from the carbohydrates we eat. More on insulin in a bit.

Low fat diets work (if they are hypocaloric) because your body isn't busy storing fat any more because you aren't really eating it. Matter of fact once the carbohydrates are out of your system (carbs are pure energy - one gram of carbohydrate will convert to one gram of glucose), your body will then reach in to its fat stores for food. Your tissues don't care; they will burn fat as easily as glucose.

The one exception is your brain and central nervous system. It needs glucose. It was once thought that that was all it burned, but (again, thought to be an adaptation), it can change over to burning about 75% ketones, which is an energy source derived from fatty acids. I forget how the body does this, but trust me. Ketones are produced from fatty acids and after a few weeks of little or no carbs your brain will reluctantly start using them for fuel.

So what does your brain do in the meantime? Your body will break down muscle tissue. When your body gets ahold of protein, 58 percent is turned into glucose. This is why you lose muscle when you diet and it is also why you should not shirk on protein when you diet!

Low carb diets work (if they are hypocaloric) for pretty much the same reason that low fat diets work. After burning the food you eat your body dips into its fat stores for the energy it needs.

So, if you want to lose weight, go hypocaloric. Low fat (Weight Watchers), Low Carb (Atkins), or balanced (the Zone), it doesn't really matter except to how you respond to the diet.

Here is my problem with low fat, which I have done: A certain level of protein is neccessary. I am happy with about .8-1 gram of protein per pound of bodyweight, so I'm eating about 400 -600 calories in protein a day. (1 gram of protein = 4 calories). If I'm eating low fat (say about 10% -%20 of my diet, or about 100-200 calories: 1 gram of fat = 9 calories ) I'm only eating about 10 - 20 grams of fat. That's not much - less if you are accounting for the fat from the meat you are eating. So the rest, maybe about 500 -700 calories is coming from carbohydrates (1 gram = 4 calories, or about 120 grams of carbs a day).

Are you with me, or are your eyes crossing?

My problem is this: mood swings and cravings. I did not know I had these until I tried low carbohydrate dieting. When I tried low fat, I'd have a meal like a chicken breast and some plain white rice and maybe a salad with just vinegar for dressing. The rice would cause my low blood sugar to spike - instant mood swing. I would also crave more (happens after an insulin crash). A half a cup of rice just sucks, and that's about all I was allowed to have at one meal.

The theory about insulin spikes and crashes is this: Insulin regulates the level of blood sugar. More sugar (glucose) in your bloodstream will cause your body to dump insulin into your system. Overeating carbs will eventually cause you to become insulin resistant. In other words, your body will dump more and more insulin into your system in response to the same amount of carbs. That overexcess of insulin will lead to a crash, or your blood sugar will go too low. In some people this crash can cause sugar cravings.

So I tried Low Carb. Same protein levels - matter of fact I'm being more careful with them now that I have learned about how eating too little protein can cause you to lose muscle. Carbs are reduced to about 80-100 calories a day (20-30 carbs) except on workout days when I'll eat about 60 carbs all told. That ain't much but I can go to town on vegetables. Since veggies are so tough for your body to digest, I don't get the insulin spikes like I would with potatoes, bread, pasta, or rice. The rest of my diet is fat. 500-600 calories of delicious, yummy fat!

I eat fattier cuts of meat (sometimes), use butter in my cooking, and eat real salad dressings. It's not much, granted (about 60 grams of fat), but I feel full and no mood swings. And I get to eat cheese! Mmmmmmmmmmm, cheese!

Logic would tell you, "hey, why don't I combine the two? I will do lower fat, but ALL my carbs will be veggies!" That's the Zone diet (kinda); it felt to me like I was grazing. Hey, if it works for you, do it! I tried but got tired of all that food prepping. Screw it, gimme a stick of string cheese.

Any way, I don't get spikes or crashes because there's just not that much glucose to react to. No peaks and valleys, no cravings. I feel level-headed and more alert.

Some people feel stupid on a low carb diet. This is because their brains have not adapted. For maybe two or three weeks it might be a good idea to eat a little more carbohydrates. Some people never seem to adapt. And athletes and heavy exercisers suffer under a low carb plan because their muscles don't have access to glycogen (I talked about that yesterday).

So, instead of going from one diet fad to another, everyone should get more informed about basic nutrition then try things out to find the best thing suited for them. If one thing doesn't work, try another. I bitch about the hamster wheel - all in all it looks like my on again-off again dieting hasn't worked. I think it has, to a certain extent. I fall off the wagon and consume like crazy - this habit seems to be caused by stress. Moving didn't help, of course. Finally things get calmed down and I try again and have some success for a while.

I'm saying it was somewhat successfull because if during these past 3 years I ate like I normally did I would have levelled out weight-wise at about 145 (or maybe more. That was my high water mark when I was 31).

I'm thinking the trick is to make observations about my habits and cycles. If I can find the patterns maybe I can find a way to counteract the wagon-falling.

This time around, I think an occasional planned refeed followed by a planned break after 8-10 weeks might help me take control. Cravings are bizarre; sometimes I just want to eat!. So why not plan it? We'll see...

Did you ever wake up early in the morning, and drift in and out of sleep for what seems like forever? I spent like two days in between the hours of 2 and 4 this morning. Sleep time like that is odd.

So I woke up, weighed myself - 131.2 - ooOOooh! 1.2 pounds lighter than yesterday. Before I go into a diatribe, I wanted to post something Lyle MacDonald said on his website recently:

This whole neurosis reminds me of the hangups folks have about either refeeds or taking 1-2 weeks off of their diet to upregulate metabolism. They are so concerned with the short-term changes that they lose sight of the big picture. Yeah, fine, maybe you gain a little bit of fat back during 2 weeks off the diet. If it means that the next 6-8 week diet cycle works that much better (compared to taking time off), you still end up better off in the long-run.

When you diet, it is a good thing to do refeeds (which simply means eating normally, NOT pigging out) maybe once every 1 -2 weeks, depending on how you feel. Then it's a good idea to take a week or two off every couple of months. Doing this will help keep your body from wrecking its metabolism.

I'm bringing this up because I felt great in the gym this morning (back and biceps). I mentioned being tired last week. What was the difference? I'm wondering if it wasn't because I cheated Sunday. I didn't cheat bad; all in all I ate about 2000 calories worth of food. Well, 1/2 of that was beer. Beer still has carbohydrates in it, which my body is either burning or storing as glycogen at this point. Glycogen is a fuel reserve stored in the liver and muscles (and every part glycogen bonds with 4 parts water, which explains how I magically gained 2.6 pounds and lost 1.2 all in the space of 2 days, more or less) and is burned as fuel when the bloodstream has nothing left in it from eating. Weightlifting is especially good at depleting glycogen stores.

So what the hell am I saying? I'm saying I'm thinking that going ahead and setting aside Sunday as a refeed day. As best as I can tell, I average burning about 1700 calories in a day. I'll try to do a switchover - instead of low carb, I'll make it high carb/lean protein/ very little fat. I'll probably eat a little more than 1700. That way the extra carbs will be stored predominantly as glycogen and I'll have a bit more oomph during the week in the gym. It will also tell my body "hey, just kidding, we're not starving so don't shut my metabolism down!"

This cycle, incidentally, is referred to a cyclical ketogenic diet.

Boy, I'll do anything to justify a bagel. Bagels, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Not much of a weekend to write about. I was tired Saturday. So much I spent most of it asleep. I don't know if it was from overtraining, diet, or the pills I take occasionally for muscle spasms in my back. Most likely a combination of both.

I broke my 5th thoracic vertabrae in a car wreck when I was 15 years old. The muscles near that area on my left side sometimes spasm. Sometimes I need something stronger than Vitamin I to tamp down the pain. (That's Ibuprofen, by the way). The meds wash me out, though.

So I did not do any running Saturday. Sometimes its best to listen to your body. And all that sleep felt gooooood.

Sunday I awoke with a lot more energy, but the wind was gusty so I sat out at the drop zone and watched a lot of idiots land their parachutes. No one got hurt, thank goodness. I'm sorry, but if your canopy is undulating like a jellyfish, maybe it's best to go home and play computer games.

James Lileks is my soul brother. I wish I had half his talent. Here is something he wrote in Monday's bleat:

And so to Alien 3 . . . which begins with one of the greatest blunders every made in sequel history, right alongside some Paramount executive who said “Sure, let Shatner direct the next one. How bad could it be.” The third Alien movie begins by breaking your heart. It’s cruel. Anyone who had anything invested in the characters is instantly angered by the movie. Not by the story; not by the plot. By the movie itself. I don’t think it ever recovers.

I was so angry after the first 5 minutes of Alien 3 I found it impossible to enjoy the rest of the movie. Was it good? I have no idea.

Like I said earlier, I'm back on the diet hamsterwheel. I have been for the last 2 weeks. Let's go back in time to my first post from November:

Rule 1: Weight loss is a matter of physics. You have to eat less calories than your body expends in a day. That part hasn't changed, no matter who claims what.

Yep, this rule still applies. I'm eating below 1200, (around 1000) which is supposed to be a no-no, but it seems more effective. I don't know how much muscle mass I've lost, if any; I'm still doing the same exercises at the same reps in the gym so we'll see if this rate is too drastic.

Rule 2: A reduced carbohydrate diet is better than a reduced fat diet.

I have come to decide that the best diet in the world is the diet that works for you without compromising your health. That said, I still prefer low carb to low fat (though I seem to be doing a combo of the two).

Rule 3: Diets can be boring. Deal with it.

I'm dealing. I have never really had a problem here, anyways. I can go into 'feed the machine' mode and not worry about boring meals and eat the same thing day in day out. My husband, on the other hand, will bitch.

Rule 4: Tupperware (in the generic sense; that stuff's expensive)!

Stupid rule but it still applies. I love that cheap stuff in the supermarkets. When we moved I think I ended up with two large boxes of plastic containers.

Rule 5: Don't get obsessed by the scale.

Yep, I violate this one. Step on it every morning.

Rule 6: There is no rule 6.

There is still no rule 6. I don't care one way or another about poofters, though.

Rule 7: keep a log of what you eat.

I stick to this one. I'm not obsessing about macronutrient quantities this time around; I'm careful about the protein and the fats. Most if not all the carbs I'm eating are veggies and I simply estimate the calories from them. I have decided that there's nothing wrong with frozen veggies especially for things like curries and stir fries. They don't rot in the vegetable bin, for one thing.

Rule 8: Keep temptations away from you.

*Sigh* this rule can never be broken when it comes to beer. Jon brought some beer and some friends home last night. Yep, I had some. Too much. On top of a low carbohydrate, hypocaloric diet. So on top of a good hangover, the scale wasn't kind to my bloated butt.

It also makes the gym fun. I didn't have any problems endurance-wise this morning, but I was feeling a little pukey during the last reps of my last squat set.

Two weeks ago I weighed 136. Saturday I weighed 130.6. This morning I weighed 133.4. - 2.8 pounds of water weight packed back on. I know what it is but I'm stupid enough to let it affect me emotionally.

So on top of me nattering on about weight training and movies, you now will get to hear me obsess about my weight. I just want the cottage cheese butt to go!

My Friday workout went well. During the shoulders exercises I felt tired more than usual. That feeling worried me; I was afraid I'm not eating enough. But then I did my leg exercises and felt stronger than ever. So the dieting thing is in a 'so far, so good' mode. I'll write more about the diet, my progress, and the rules I'm violating Monday.

After all that Army talk, I wanted mention Kitchen Patrol. Most soldiers hate KP. Why? I went through basic in South Carolina in February, March, and early April. It was quite chilly. KP meant I got to be warm *all day* in a tiny building jam-packed with food. So I had to scrub a few pots and peel a few potatoes. The Army motto is 'don't be first, don't be last, never volunteer' and for the most part that's true. But I'd volunteer for KP any day.

I dug through my laser disc collection last night and Jon and I settled for an Arnold Swarzenegger movie: Total Recall. Released in 1990, one of its amusements is leftover 80's hair. I miss 80's action movies; they are far more violent.

Arnold plays a construction worker who pays to have memories of a vacation on Mars implanted in his head. He buys the 'extra-special' package, which instead of a standard stay-at-a-hotel, buy the tee-shirt style vacation, he has an action-adventure style Mars story implanted. The implant goes wrong, and it triggers memories about mars which leads to an action-adventure trip to Mars. The mindjob here is is he really involved in intrigue on Mars, or is he in the middle of a paranoid delusion?

This movie would have been more interesting if it had messed with the is he/isn't he on Mars aspect more; I'm sure since Arnold was in it that part of the script was de-emphasized. It was based on a Philip K. Dick story, a man who specialized in mindjob stories.

Michael Ironside, a canadian actor that specializes in Evil Bad Guys doesn't slack off in this movie. He, Lance Henriksen, Clancy Brown, J.T. Walsh (r.i.p.), David Warner, and a handful of other actors are (for me) good actors who get typecast in small roles, usually bad guys, but are always fun to watch. Ah. There's a good top 10 list to work on...

I bet you're wondering ( or maybe not) what triggered these basic training memories. It wasn't all the war movies I've been watching; it was because I heard U2's One Tree Hill on the radio recently. I don't know why, but that did it.

I did some research yesterday; read some online diaries of people who went through basic and it helped me remember some things. Like I said, my memory isn't linear; here are some general impressions and feelings I had during boot camp:

Eating a full meal, including dessert, in less than two minutes flat. I still have to think about it so I can slow down and enjoy the food I eat.

Standing at attention, or parade rest in formation every morning in March and April with my feet so cold in my boots, my toes felt like someone had put marbles in my socks.

"Yes, Drill Sargeant! No Drill Sargeant!" Marching. Cadences. Polishing my boots, cleaning my M-16. Rain dripping off my too-short poncho into my boots. Waiting, waiting, waiting. And getting into the front leaning rest position, of course, and doing pushups. Devouring the Sunday paper because that's the only time I got to read anything. Getting up in the middle of the night to pull fireguard for two hours.

Speaking of, I was walking back from mess one sunday and I stopped to buy the Sunday paper; my jaw dropped the floor as I read about the Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker scandal. I stood there so long in front of the vending machine a drill sargeant walking by dropped me for pushups for loitering.

Anyway, the three phases of Basic Training are called the Red, White, and Blue phase. I told you about the Red phase. And I knew my memory was out of kilter; we did no bayonet training until the White phase. This phase dealt with learning to shoot.

My dad taught me how to shoot so I felt/feel comfortable with a rifle (not a gun). I shot competently but not as good as I probably could have because I tend to choke under a time limit. Some of us got to ride home from the range in a helicopter when we qualified on our rifles. That was kewl! I enjoyed this phase much more than the drill and ceremony stuff.

I don't remember the cutoff point, but somewhere along the line between the White and the Blue phase we learned other aspects of basic soldiering. Throwing grenades, using grenade launchers, using LAW rockets and Claymores... I was a kid in a candy shop! In the Blue phase we started bivouacing (sp?) outdoors. Marching some place, setting up a pup tent; I remember sitting in the tent with Mitchell and helping each other remove that camouflage make-up. We cleaned each other's face using baby ass wipes.

Don't laugh! Any one who's done any camping knows baby ass wipes are the key to survival, especially if you're a woman!

Any way, each skill we learned was conducted at a different range. Each range was named after a famous U.S. Army battle. This factoid brings me to the Chipyong-ni breakdance. Chipyong-ni was a battle in the Korean war. This particular range consisted of sawdust pits where we learned the high crawl and the low crawl. The high crawl basically consists of slithering on the ground on your belly, only using your elbows. The low crawl is lower than that. If you aren't making a furrow with your helmet, you aren't lowcrawling. This range was miserable. I hated it even more than the gas chamber.

I was picking sawdust out of personal holes for something like two months after that.

The most fun I had during basic was during this one range where we had to tie together all the skills we had learned. My buddy and I had to silently advance and cover each other until the enemy started shooting (popup targets w/ blanks). At that point we had to switch over to verbal communications; one person would advance ("I'm up, I'm moving, he's aiming, I'm down") while the other person covered with live ammo. Our objective was to get close enough to this concrete bunker to throw (fake) hand grenades.

Thank god I trusted Mitchell. While waiting in line to run this range, I was grinning like an idiot and I told Mitch to pretend we were in a war movie. I really felt like I was 7 years old again. We put our hearts into it; when the enemy opened up we were screaming like banshees. We got big-assed GO's on that range (everything is graded Go/No Go). The sargeant in charge of grading congradulated us, and commended us for not getting flustered because some brass were watching ( a Colonel and a few others). Mitchell and I never saw anyone - guess that's a good thing.

From what I have read, the very end of basic has changed somewhat. I recall going through something called the 'superbowl', where we were rated individually or with your buddy on certain skills. I remember a long, fun discussion with one rater, a particularly tough drill sargeant, while setting up a claymore mine (a dummy, of course). I'm not being sarcastic, he just felt like talking and so I listened as I set the thing up, responding "yes, drill sargeant, no drill sargeant" where appropriate.

That's pretty much it - I haven't talked about the drill sargeants much because none of them were of the R. Lee Ermey variety. They were tough, but fair. Our platoon had Drill Sargeant Simon and Drill Sargeant Daniels, I recall. I remember one Sunday morning I had Battalion CQ with another soldier who I became good friends with. Her name was Susan Cohen and she was half chinese and half jewish. I'm not kidding. She was constantly getting in trouble for talking too much. Many of the other soldiers didn't like her but we got along well.

Any way, that Sunday at Battalion headquarters (CQ means 'Charge of Quarters', just means you answer the phone if it rings), Susan and I sat around and twiddled our thumbs. Drill Sargeant Daniels was on battalion CQ, too; he was studying for a math class he was taking. He was having trouble with a problem; I recongized it as a quadratic equation so I took some time reviewing with him how to set the problem up correctly. He knew how to solve it; he just didn't remember how to make it look like a quadratic equation, if that makes sense.

Any way, from that point on, I never got into trouble w/ Drill Sargeant Daniels. I remember goofing off with Susan on a range during lunch; DS Daniels walked by, dropped Susan and never even looked at me. I got the hint and wandered off.

The truth is the Army is easy to deal with. It's not easy and it's not super-hard. I am proud I got through basic, but I got through it because I learned pretty quick: just do what you're told.

What a difference a good night of sleep makes! I feel much better today than I did yesterday. I had a good time at the gym (Chest and Triceps). Because my shoulder is better I went ahead and did weight-assisted dips but at a pretty high weight to take it easy.

So far, so good.

Jon wants in on the diet thing, too. I guess both of us want to not look like fat tubs of goo when swimsuit weather comes around. He doesn't look bad at all, in my opinion. He has a bit of a belly but that's it. If he sticks with it it will actually make my job easier because I hate planning two separate meals.

When I was in college, I joined the Army Reserves. I had been fighting with my dad about my major; I joined so I could pay my own way. My Bachelor's is in Anthropology; nowadays I think my dad was right.

When you first try to join, you take the ASVAB, the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery, a multiple choice test which tells you and your recruiter which MOS (Military Occupational Specialty) you are suited for. I kicked ass in every category. I was denied any of the fun combat-oriented specialties because I'm a girl so I went for 91A, Medic. Actually, they are, or were, mini-medics. I don't think this MOS exists any more. 91A's could serve in the field as EMTs as well as serve in hospitals as nursing assistants.

I was right - I did some online research and 91A's and B's (B's were super EMTs) no longer exists. It most closely resembles a 91W. Another aside: the number is a general area, the letter the specialty. For instance a combat person is an 11; 11B is an infantryman, 11C is artillery.

Once you figure out what you're going to do, the recruiter signs you up for a medical at a Military Entrance Processing Station, or MEPS. Mine was at Fort Jackson, South Carolina. All I remember is a really busy day filled with all kinds of tests. Oh, yes; I came to understand what 'hurry up and wait' meant; a term I would become intimately familiar with in my military career.

I signed my contract while there and took my oath to defend the constitution (not the PRESIDENT, not DEMOCRACY, the Constitution) of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic. I remember doing this on October 31st, 1996. I shipped out for Basic in February 1997. I went through my training during the Reagan years, which was a great time to be a soldier (good budget).

Once it was time to go in I went back to MEPS for more tests, paper signing, and waiting around. Then I remember staying about a week in these kind of holding barracks. I don't remember much; we waited around for the company to fill up and learned a few things like rudimentary marching, standing at attention, parade rest, and a few other things. I was yet to become familiar with the front-leaning rest position, but that was to come. I think I had to take a Physical Training (PT) test - I had to do one good push-up. Female requirements were a joke. Some women couldn't do one proper pushup though. I shouldn't be scornful; Zeus knows I had problems running.

People who failed the test were grouped off for a couple of weeks to work on PT. Having your basic training extended by a two weeks must have really blown chunks.

I was in a platoon with all females in Basic. I mean women. Jeez, I start talking about the army and I slip right back into Armyspeak. Nowadays Basic training is mixed sex but way back when I would have been dropped for pushups had I even looked at a man. Not that I didn't. Matter of fact, isn't it far more amusing to do something banal when it's considered naughty? I don't smoke so I didn't try to sneak cigarettes so I leered at men.

Through my army-issue glasses, which are known as birth control or rape prevention glasses. They all look like Drew Carrey's specs. I was horridly ugly but I didn't really care. I was in a Company of Women, fer pete's sake. The only men who would talk to me were drill sargeants, and I don't recall ever being attracted to any of them. Too busy hating them, I guess.

When in basic training you are assigned a 'buddy'. This person is your partner through everything. I think we even washed each other's backs on occasion (you men out there quit snickering!). Mine was a woman from New Mexico named Mitchell. I can't recall her first name, which is a shame. I think it was Lucy. I lucked out. She was smart, and not too loud. We became friends.

Basic was 8 weeks, which consisted of three phases. I can't recall exactly what they were called; all I remember is one was Drill and Ceremony, Rifle Training, then Field Training.

Drill and Ceremony was learning how to march. All of it's a blur to me: get up, do PT (Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays were calisthenics, and Tuesdays and Thursdays was running), go eat, do something, go eat, do something, go eat, do something, go sleep. Any free time, clean. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Our barracks were old World War II barrracks at the bottom of Tank Hill. I bet they have been replaced by now. For our run, we would run up the hill, then down. Up the hill, then down. Ahhhhh. Good times! I joke but I have some insanely strong memories and impressions from those 8 weeks. I'm trying to catch some of them before they fade completely.

Do something was sometimes marching, sometimes class work during the first three weeks. I do recall some field exercises, which involved marching to some course and running around with dummy rifles with bayonets attached. I recall some obstacle courses. I don't have a linear memory, so Athena knows which happened when.

Somewhere during this time we learned about Mission Oriented Protective Posture, or MOPP, or how to protect ourselves in a Nuclear, Biological, or Chemical attack( NBC, of course). This involved not only donning a gas mask, but these charcoal-impregnated overclothes as well as cumbersome rubber gloves and boots. It was a no-brainer for me; my buddy Mitchell had claustrophobia so I remember spending some time talking her away from panic attacks. This didn't annoy me; matter of fact I recall feeling protective towards her.

NBC training of course led to one of the most infamous sections of basic training - the GAS CHAMBER! Feh. The gas chamber was supposed to give you confidence in your gear - let you know that yes, indeedy, your gas mask worked. One at a time, we were taken into a CS-filled room, told to hold our breath, break the seal on our gas masks, and then clear it. I recall thinking that my eyes were a little sting-y, but it wasn't bad. Then they told us to take the mask completely off.

I had decided before I went in that I wasn't going to do anything stupid, like try to hold my breath. I immediately took my mask off and breathed in. That little stinging sensation went from a tickle to feeling like my face and throat had been scrubbed with nettles. I couldn't breathe at all. I recall thinking it was kind of like a really bad athsma attack.

So I stood there, not breathing, eyes, nose and mouth leaking, looking at my drill sargeant and patiently waiting for my next instructions. He told me and I walked out of there, gas mask in one hand and helmet in the other. I found Mitchell and we joked about shit while trying to get our breath back. It's funny how fond I am of those memories.

Tomorrow I'll write about my first helicopter ride and the Chipyong-Ni Breakdance.

Well, dang. Those Dragon Boat exercises and stretches I'm doing for my rotator cuff are working! After less than a week my left shoulder is no longer sore. It has been hurting for almost 4 months and once I got around to doing something about it it went away like that.

I'll keep doing them, of course. I do them for both shoulders.

Jon bought a six-pack last night so naturally I had to have a couple. I kept my eating hypocaloric, but beer does not have that many good nutrients in it. I got through Back and Biceps at the gym this morning but I am bushed.

You know, as much as I hate running, it would be fun to train for and enter the 8 Tuff Miles race in St. John. Well, *fun* might be an inappropriate word. I'm just looking for an excuse to go back, of course. Since the last one was run this last Saturday, I'd have a whole year to train for it. Yes, I know endurance training and strength training are not the same thing, but they aren't mutually exclusive, either. I just have to be prepared to not be as strong as I want to be. 77 Days until I'm 40.

I'm pleased with myself: I had planned to go to the gym this morning and do some leg exercises. I had only planned to run on the treadmill for about 6 minutes just to warm up, but I felt so good this morning I went ahead and ran for 20 minutes.

The reason I'm doing leg exercises on Mondays now is because I exercise my upper body 3 times a week. Even though I am concentrating on specific areas (chest, back, shoulders), there is some spillover in the muscle groups. I think I can get better results with my leg routine (squats, stiff-legged deadlifts, and calf raises) if I do them twice a week. I realize that with all the running I'm planning to do that's an awful lot of leg work. I'm not doing that much weight right now - I'm working more on endurance- and I'm watching myself for exhaustion, especially now that I'm doing the hypocaloric thing again.

It is precisely 78 days until my 40th birthday. I really do want to meet that day in the best shape I've ever been in. Considering that except for when I went through basic training I have always been a couch potato, that's simply not too difficult to accomplish.

Back to feeling so good this morning: why is it that eating around 1200 calories a day eventually leads to me feeling so great? From what I have read I have a feeling it has more to do with the ketogenic variable - less carbs mean fewer mood swings. I never realized how crappy I felt until I feel this good.

I can tell spring is around the corner; our little drop zone has had 2 good weekends in a row. I did four jumps this weekend - all on Saturday. (Total: 943 - only 57 more to go to get my 1,000 jump merit badge!) Two of them were student jumps with the same student; a woman - hell, a girl; she ain't old enough to buy a beer. She is a little heavy and I have a tough time staying down with her even though I wore 10 pounds in my weight vest. The good thing is she was doing her levels 6 and 7; by the time they are doing those levels they know how to get stable and save their own lives so even if I mess up I can still see them practice their maneuvers and not worry too much about their safety.

But students are crafty devils so it's best not to let your guard down ever. The good news is she passed both levels; level 7 is the last one so now she can jump by herself. She is still a student; she just doesn't need an instructor with her any more. Now she gets to work on a proficiency card that will lead to her 'A' (basic) license.

I love being able to graduate students. They get so happy. I get more hugs that way.

Saturday night we had a pot-luck party. I made pasta salad - do you know how hard it is to make a gigantic tub of pasta salad and not eat any of it? I managed to keep on track; I did have a half a piece of corn bread - mmmm - but that's it as far as the carbs went. Well, there's the three Michelob Ultra. Guess I'll have to count those.

Sunday I came home early and did absolutely nothing. I restarted Baldur's Gate again on my computer but other than that I did nada. I didn't even watch the Oscars. Wish I had; I was so happy that Peter Jackson won.

My what a boring post. I don't even have a top 10 list of favorite actor's noses or anything. Speaking of top 10 though, I am happy to modify my top 10 food staples list. The Wal-Mart in Madison is stocking my favorite condiment, Sriracha chili sauce. Actually, Huy Fong, the manufacturer, makes a chili garlic paste that is just as tasty, but dang I'm so happy to see this on the store shelf! One tablespoon has about 4 carbs, but that's more than you will need to set your mouth on fire.