That's my Boy

IMG_5850, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

What I'm watching, What I'm going to See, Maybe

Movies have been a wasteland lately. I can't remember such a yawn-inducing summer.

We watched The Green Zone, a Matt Damon movie about the decided lack of WMDs in Iraq. It was ok. The thing that impressed me most about the movie was Brendan Gleeson's American accent. Oh, and Greg Kinnear could make a career out of playing dicks.

Jon's mom is coming for a week long visit today. I hope Jon and I can sneak away one day and watch a movie while she babysits Brenden - I'm thinking Toy Story III though maybe B can watch that one. I totally admit I want to see the A-Team, too.

I'll eventually end up watching Christopher Nolan's Inception. His Batman movies have been decent, but I still remember how mindbending Memento is.

I commented on Facebook about Bruce Willis' movie, Red, featuring Helen Mirren firing guns plus Willis and Karl Urban beating the shit out of each other. It comes out in October and I'll be there.

But Predators? Despicable Me? The Expendables? I can't decide if these will be must sees or avoid like the plague.

Other than that I can't work up any kind of enthusiasm for anything. The next Star Trek won't be out until 2012.

Pool Party

IMG_5804, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I'd better update - the weekend before last Nancy, Mark, and Anthony came for a visit. It was good to see them again - I was happy that Nancy wasn't allergied out of the house by 3 cats. Matter of fact Zoe Mal Owen, the black and white kitty, charmed Nancy and purred into her ear for a long time. And Anthony enjoyed the pool! I inflicted an old MST3K on them - The Pod People - which is breathtakingly sucky.

We left Tuesday for a visit with my Dad and Ilu in Oklahoma. Holy crap was it hot! Nonetheless we had plenty to do including 4 wheeling, fishing, swimming in Sardis lake, and eating and more eating (thank you dad and Ilu!). We visited a ranch and Brenden got to pet some horses and colts. I avoided all horse contact.

I'm always amazed at the variety of animals in Oklahoma. We saw baby deer, turtles, frogs, the fish we yanked out of the water, wild turkeys, hawks, vultures, and some I'm forgetting. Oh yeah, bugs. A very kind neighbor of theirs brought Brenden a bag of goodies for his birthday that included a butterfly net and an insect cage so we bughunted and caught all sorts of bugs including some unintentionally. Boy I hate ticks.

I'm still recovering - I developed a cold 2 weeks ago and I'm still plagued by congestion, stuffy head and plugged ears. Photos soon come!

Fish Day

IMG_5577, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

This past Saturday I surprised Brenden by setting up a 2 1/2 gallon aquarium in his bedroom. It's a nice starter system and fairly durable. I had it up and running, complete with gravel and some Spongebob-related decorations. It was all set up execpt for fish. When we did our traditional Saturday grocery run, I let him pick out 2 tiny goldfish at the local Petsmart. He has named them both 'Sandy', which is adorable. I nicknamed them Ben and Hurley just for kicks.

I took Brenden to Dairy Queen for dinner ( I was scoping out birthday cakes) and he played in the enclosed play yard with a little girl who was maybe a year younger than him. I was pleased to see they were playing 'tag' and he didn't run as fast as he could and he let him catch her. He would run after her when he was it and not go all out. He was very disappointed when she left.

Sunday was his birthday day; Jon, Brenden and I picked up Sierra and Andrew and we drove to the Tennessee Aquarium in Chattanooga. Brenden is finally old enough to appreciate the aquarium and he loved it. It wasn't that crowded and I'm impressed with how that area looks considering its age (the aquarium is 18 years old). The kids had fun and Brenden needs to work on his quiet voice because he let the entire aquarium know what he was looking at ("WOW LOOK AT THE FISH!").

After we dropped off Sierra and Andrew later that day we opened presents. See the entry below for what that was like.

We held a pool party Monday afternoon after work with the neighbor and her two boys as well as Andrew and his mom (Stacey had vacation bible school). I was amused with how crowded the pool got with 4 boys and 4 adults. We grilled hotdogs and hamburgers and the cake was a Dairy Queen Oreo cookie blizzard cake. YUM.

A Million Parts

A Million Parts, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I'll blog a bit later about my Precious Snowflake's birthday celebrations, but I wanted to blog this picture. It's a K'NEX rollercoaster and had about a million parts. The K'NEX system is like an ultra-sophisticated tinker-toy set and the directions are surprisingly easy to follow, but *DAMN*.

I put it together Sunday afternoon for Brenden. From now on Jon has to buy Brenden toys within a year or so of the age recommendation or put it together himself.

The cats like nomming on it, curse their fuzzy hides.

Happy Birthday

IMG_5611, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Happy Birthday, my beloved son! *Muah!* It's been 5 years. It feels like 5 minutes sometimes.

I'm Rich!!111!!!!

My Swimming Son, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Woo-hoo! I got this spam unsolicited email today:

Greetings,

I understand that through Internet is not the best way to link up with you because of the confidentiality which my proposal demands.

However, I have already sent you this same letter one month ago,but I am not sure if it did get to you since I have not heard from you, hence i am constrain to reach you through the Internet which has been abused over the years.

I wish to notify you again that You were listed as a Heir to the total sum of (Three Million Six Hundred Thousand British Pounds) in the codicil and last testament of the deceased.(Name now withheld since this is our second letter to you). We contacted you because you bear the surname identity and therefore can present you as the Heir to the inheritance funds.

etc. etc. etc.

No con man ever went broke overestimating people's greed.

What I'm Reading

IMG_3936, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I decided not to bring my Kindle on vacation and ended up re-reading Dan Simmons' Ilium and Olympos and they hold up to a second reading. I will be reading them again sometime down the road. I recall reading a review of one of Simmons' books (Black Hills), where the reviewer can't get past all the fantastic elements in his novels but she loves his books and reads them compulsively. I think the strong point of all his novels are the great characters. He puts believable characters in unbelievable situations, all the time. Actually, I'll buy into anything if you give me people to like.

That's pretty much a pattern for me: I love totally loopy stories with people I can empathize with. I don't understand people who don't like fantastic elements in their novels. As far as I'm concerned once I hear "Once upon a time" all bets are off with reality no matter how "true to life" the story is.

Currently I'm reading The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, the third of the Millenium trilogy by Stieg Larsson who unfortunately died after writing these three books (the other two: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and The Girl who Played with Fire). They were originally written in Swedish and the direct translation of the first book's title is Men who Hate Women. Larsson has some interesting things to say about violence against women, and does it in a story about a woman named Lisbeth Salander who is a fantastic crazy-awesome character. I've heard the movie version out of Sweden is worthwhile too. I shall have to rent it on DVD when it comes out.

when I have nothing to read I'm reading trashy mystery/detective novels. Unfortunately none of them hold a candle to Dan Simmons' trashy Joe Kurtz novels. I hope he writes some more. Hell, I'll read his grocery lists if he publishes them. I'm sure they would make me cry.

What I'm Not Watching Any More

Gatorade, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I have commented on the end of Lost, but I haven't on the end of 24 or American Idol. I know Idol hasn't been cancelled yet, but it should be. First off, Simon Cowell has left the building. He simply can't be replaced. Second, how the HELL did Lee DeWayze win over Crystal Bowersox? Lee can sing be he couldn't hold a candle to Crystal's power. Meh, I say, meh! That show has ended for me.

Jack Bauer didn't bust Tony out of jail for his roarin' rampage of revenge, but it turns out he didn't need to. As the Television Without Pity's recapper points out, several of the last 4 hours resemble a Friday the Thrirteenth movie with Jack in the role of Jason Voorhees. The scene with the assassin whose guts he cuts open then burns with a butane torch is Jack's Crowning Moment of Crazy.

I admit 24 was getting totally silly, but that's part of why I liked it. I also liked Chloe, one of Jack's only friends who didn't manage to get herself killed or locked up in jail. Sure she had absolutely no filters between her brain and her mouth, but she was brilliant, loyal, and had a strong moral compass. At least Bauer recognized that (and Morris, her husband). I shall miss you, Jack and Chloe, although there are rumors of a movie (what are they doing to call it? 2?).

A Beach on Jost

A beach on Jost, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Let's see, what's happening in the world? Lost and 24 ended, meaning I have nothing to watch. I have a bunch of Fringe in the queue, but it's not the same. Lost went out out well, even though not all questions were answered. I say it went out well because all the characters did things that made me love them, even the normally douche-baggy Jack. Like Battlestar Galactica, I have my own answers for the questions but don't feel the need to share them compulsively on every forum on the innertubes.

In other news I opened the pool. This year was the easiest opening on record, despite having to change the sand in the filter and repairing a crack in a pipe joint. I only pulled one dead animal out of the skimmer basket (a mole).

One semi-traumatic event happened this morning - I went outside to disconnect the automatic cleaner from the skimmer intake pipe, and jumped back because I saw a green head looking at me. About the same second as I registered the head belonging to a big frog, it got sucked into the intake pipe. I ran like mad and shut off the filter pump and Jon managed to free the frog. He was hurt but we let him go. Pools <> (or != for you VB folks) environmentally friendly.

More St. John Travelogue

IMG_0603, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

May 10th: Scuba day with Low Key. We went to Lovango cay and Grass Cay. I think I either need to make it a point to go scuba diving once every six months or so or just quit altogether because I didn't really enjoy myself that much. Of course, putting a BC with a heavy tank over my severely sunburnt back may have had something to do with it. After scuba and lunch, we took the kids to Hawknest Bay, a beach I've never been to. It was gorgeous, just like all the other beaches on St. John. Ho hum.



May 11th: We chartered a boat to the British Virgin Islands. This trip was definitely the highlight of our vacation. The boat we chartered was the Born To Rhumb (there are a lot of Rhumb puns in the islands) with a captain, Kevin, and - assistant? first mate? not sure what her official title was. Or name. We headed out at 9 and stopped at Soper's Hole in Tortola to go through customs then had a delay for some shopping (don't ask). Prices in St. John are high, and outrageous in Tortola.



Our first top was the Caves at Norman Island, supposedly Robert Louis Stevenson's inspiration for Treasure Island. We snorkeled around with the kids in tow wearing ring floatys. Brenden refused to use his snorkel but he loved his mask. He'd dip his head in and report on the fish he saw. I saw some small squid and pointed them out to B. He thought those were cool. The caves were caves.



We had lunch on the Willy T, (the William Thornton), a ship that was converted into a restaurant. Yes, you have to park your boat next to the ship to climb aboard. Despite warnings that no jumping is allowed, people jump off her all the time. Including us. All of us, even Brenden. The kids absolutely loved eating on the 'pirate ship'. About that time us adults all started in on the beer.



Next up was a small island with a very nice beach with naked people. They mostly got dressed when they saw the kids. They also left, thank you. The captain told the kids it was 'Gilligan's Island' (heh) so they loved that too. We swam and played on the beach for a while, then we headed to Jost Van Dyke, home of the Soggy Dollar bar.



I just remember floating and drinking. The captain's assistant was kind enough to wing a fresh beer my way when I was empty. Don't ask me about the trip home because I don't remember. It wasn't the beer, it was the Painkillers I had on top of that. Not the drug, the rum drink.



May 12th: that was Wednesday, or recover from the charter day. What the heck did we do? Oh yeah, we got a late start and went to another beach I've never been to, Maho bay. The kids (by simply being kids) pissed off some lady reading a book nearby - people don't tolerate little kids very well. Sorry lady. I hear there's an adults only beach at the Caneel.



May 13th: We went to Trunk Bay, and the surf was moderately rough. Andrew loved the hell out of being tumbled around by the waves and it brought back nostalgic memories of how much I loved the same when I lived in Puerto Rico. Brenden liked it too, but he preferred building a sand castle and Sierra didn't like it much at all. We ate lunch afterwards at the Banana Deck, our go-to place this trip. Brenden loves strawberry daquiris. Virgin daquiris, of course.



May 14th: Our return home was uneventful, except I had a traumatic experience at the McDonalds drive-through when we were coming home from Atlanta. I asked for UNsweet tea, and Jon drove away before I could taste-test and discovered it was sweet tea. I hate sweet tea with a mad passion. If I'm going to drink sugar water, it better be carbonated! It just goes to show you: they FARK you in the drive through! Every TIME!!

The Kids are Alright

IMG_0872, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

So I owe a trip report, don't I?

May 6-7: Travel days. We left for Atlanta, caravaning with the family we were going with: Stacey and JK, and their two kids Sierra (9) and Andrew (11). Even though the kids are older, they get along great with Brenden. We arrived without incident at one of the Comfort Inns near the Hartsfield airport. Did you know you can get a hotel room AND parking for a week for about the same price as parking for a week? (about $80).

I was kicking myself about getting the later flight to St. Thomas because I found out about the Park-Sleep-Fly program after I bought our plane tickets. Our flight didn't leave until 11:50 so we took our time getting to the airport and killed 3 hours by lounging around at our gate. Fortunately the kids all had their DSIs so the whining was relatively minimum.

About 20 minutes out the captain told us we may have to divert to San Juan because the tarmac in St. Thomas was sporting a pot hole. We circled around for about 30 minutes but then the captain told us we get to land in St. Thomas (much applause). He then told us he will have to slam on the brakes because St. Thomas' short runway is now about 1000 feet shorter. He did, but we landed fine so he got more applause.

As it turned out the earlier flight from Atlanta did get diverted to San Juan and landed after us. Ha!

So we collected our luggage and got our jeeps from Dependable, the company we used last time. We drove to Red Hook, and waited for the car barge while watching a very ominous cloud shroud St. John. Our villa greeter, a nice guy named Demitrios, phoned us hoping we had 4-wheel drive cars because the rain was a torrent and some streets are flooded. Anyone who doesn't have 4-wheel drive on St. John is doing it wrong, rain or no rain.

Jon and Stacey talked about stopping at a store, so I spilled my little surprise: I had contacted a villa provisioner so we had lots of food (and beer and rum) waiting for us. After an exhausting day (we got to the villa at around 7 pm) the last thing I wanted to do is worry about food.




May 8 - 9: After the torrential rain we woke up to a beautiful St. John morning. I convinced everyone that our first stop should be Cinnamon Bay. We overdid it, of course - we spent 5 hours out there and I didn't wear a rash guard (I 'out grew' my old one). When I snorkeled around Cinnamon Cay, I burnt my back something fierce. That night I spent a lot of time drinking.




I have no freaking idea what we did on the 9th. That was Sunday. I think it was a villa gravity day. The kids spent a lot of time in the pool. We all ate lunch out and did some shopping later in the afternoon, and I snagged myself a new rash shirt (it's like a rash guard, but more like a tee shirt so those of us who have a little too much weight around their middle don't look like we've been stuffed into sausage casings).



I'll write more later but in the meantime here's a gratuitous chicken photo:

Bet you thought I forgot!

IMG_4057, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday Bill Paxton
Happy birthday to you!!!!

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Happy Mommy's Day Y'all! I'm enjoying today from an awesome view from my favorite tiny island. If I weren't so lazy I'd download a pic instead of stealing something from LOLCATs.

see more

I love this photograph. I don't know why.

Enjoying the sun

Enjoying the sun, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

What I'm Watching: Same old stuff.

V: This series isn't doing much for me, except it's nice to see Nicolas Lea again, and every time I see Elizabeth Mitchell I miss Juliet from Lost. Speaking of...

Lost: 3 Episodes to go. I have some ideas, but it's fun to have no real idea of what will happen.

American Idol: Unless she really hoses it, Crystal Bowersox had this in the bag by the second ep of the final 24. I like her singing. I wish she would quit getting lippy with the judges.

Fringe: We've only watched one episode since it returned, and despite the nifty 1985 logo and theme song the ep was a royal bummer. There's nothing like watching a nice, sick kid die onscreen! It made me feel bad for the mad scientist more than I already do.

24 Since it's the last season, Jack Bauer should really spend these last 4 hours breaking Tony out of jail and the two of them could go on a roarin' rampage of revenge. It could be a combination of Thelma and Louise, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The body count would be staggering. And gratifying, considering all the morons, asshats, and dweebs the two of them have had to put up with the last 8 years.

Also and speaking of: President Taylor? Laura Roslin would have eaten your lunch. AND she would have airlocked ex-president Logan before he got his first conspiracy out of his bag of tricks. Where's Logan's ex-wife when you need her? Somebody needs another stabbing.

Sleepy men

Sleepy men, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Nothing new to report - I just wanted to post this picture.

Batter up

IMG_4805, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

This weekend was uneventful even though the weather forecasters were all running around screaming "ZOMG WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!". I do realize some people were hammered that hard on Saturday but we were just soaked thoroughly. There were no trees uprooted in the park so it was fairly tame weather for us.

Friday evening despite a little rain Brenden had his second Calvinball Tee Ball game and he did well. His attention was diverted the first inning because he had to use the bathroom and let everyone in viewing distance know this fact much to the detriment of his father's blood pressure. I marched him to the bathroom as soon as the inning was over.

Here's some more of our league's Tee Ball rules: An inning consists of everyone on the team batting, no matter the outs. The games run 45 minutes or 2 innings. Hitting the tee-ball stand with the bat is a foul. Runners can be tagged out or forced out. I'm not sure if a force out is impossible if there is no one on the base behind the runner. I also doubt there's an infield fly rule.

Any ways Brenden got a hit both times at bat and did good running to the other bases. He played the pitcher's position the first inning and first base the second. He showed some defensive skills with the last batter from the other team hit - the bases were loaded and since it was the last hitter no matter what the coach had them run the bases. Brenden caught the ball and tagged out the last 3 runners one by one as they ran home.

So Saturday Brenden and I went stir-crazy watching the rain and finally for one hour before sundown the sun came out and we played in the mud in the front yard. Sunday I did yardwork while Brenden got himself muddy again. That was our weekend.

Go Tiny Tigers!

IMG_4803, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

We had a busy weekend - noontime Friday I was groundcrew for a skydiving demonstration into an elementary school. Then I hurried to buy supplies for a camping trip. Photos soon come, I think. We stayed close to home at Smith Lake in Cullman. Friday we froze our butts off because I neglected to pack adequate blankets.

Saturday we went fishing but Brenden decided it was more fun to play in the lake than to fish so we let him splish around until he got tired of it. We got him cleaned up and drove back home because he had his first T-ball game in the afternoon. It was quite amusing - the phrase "cat herding" came into mind quite a few times as I watched the coaches try to get the little kids to do what they were supposed to do.

I felt proud of Brenden - he got the pitcher's position. He doesn't pitch of course, but the kid in that position has to field 85% of the balls hit. He did a good job running up and corralling the ball. He's not really old enough to make good judgement calls about when to try to throw the ball, tag the kid out, or run the ball back to the pitcher's circle (that basically takes the ball out of play). I was proud though that he was so heads up during the entire game and not out there digging in the dirt. Much.

He got two hits and a run - but no matter they don't keep score at that level.

Normally I don't have a problem with competition but in this case I think it's a good idea to not keep score. Otherwise I think the parents might get a little psycho.

St. John Soon Come

What's on the Beach, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

We'll soon be going back to my favoritest place on the planet. We'll be going in May for a week. Hooray!

I have been thatching and mowing the lawn the last couple of weeks all with no allergy symptoms. I'm not bragging as much as advertising how well Nasonex + immunization shots have been working for me. Many people here at work this week have been Claratin Zombies.

Old B Photo because I'm Lame

sitting up, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

This last weekend Brenden and I chased a hot air balloon. Well, I chased it in the minivan while Brenden watched Spongebob in the back. I took no photos, like an idiot.

Skydive Alabama celebrated its 10th year anniversary and amongst the festivities were hot air balloon jumps. My job was to chase the balloon, bring jumpers to where it landed, and pick them up again after they jumped. Sunday morning was the easiest chase ever - the balloon went up, the jumpers jumped, the balloon came down. All in the same place.

Other than that, not much is happening. I watched Don't mess with the Zohan, an Adam Sandler movie. It was stupid, and to my shame I laughed. A lot. Wouldn't it be nice though if all of the middle East problems could be solved with hair salons and shoe stores!