Nothing to do with Monkey-Boy

Monday 24
Originally uploaded by Tiffany Velez.

This post has nothing to do with Brenden. I've written almost exclusively about my son since he was born, and then there were those 9 months that I was pregnant. I think it's time I diversify.

Here's my review of An Unfinished Life. Every once in a while the Cinemablend review staff will have screeners available for review. I always volunteer for screeners - free movies! Plus you never know you might get something good. Like a copy of a movie with your favorite redhead.

Except for one offhand comment about his royal hotness, I didn't make much mention of his role in the movie. It was a small role, and he played an abusive piece of white trash. I was happy when Robert Redford kicked him in the nuts, and I was kind of hoping the bear would come along and eat him. Still, it was nice to see him in a relatively new movie.

My viewing habits are shifting towards tv shows lately. Since Battlestar Galactica won't be back with new shows until November, the Sci-Fi channel is showing Doctor Who in its place. I haven't watched the show since the Tom Baker / Peter Davison days. Thanks to CGI and a bit better budget, this time around the good doctor's special effects are a whole new class of cheese. I'm sorry Chris Eccleston only played the Doctor for one season, because he did a super job. He brings the doctor's cheerfulness to the right pitch - just a tad on the manic side.

We finally broke down and are now subscribing to HBO simply because I didn't want to wait two frackin' years for the last season of The Sopranos to come out on DVD. I still don't like anyone on the show, well not totally, but anything mob-related is like catnip to me.

The good thing about this show is that the mob guys are such evil idiots. Unfortunately just about everyone else (FBI, non-mob bystanders, Tony's family) are idiots as well.

We're still watching 24 even though it went way beyond silly a long time ago. I accept it for what it is and it's an enjoyable way to spend a Monday. I applaud Fox for deciding to run the show on uniterrupted consecutive weeks. Now if only the folks responsible for Lost would do the same.

This season I'm suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder because every character I ever liked (except 2) has been killed off. Everyone has Dead Pools, and it's not a matter of who will die, it's how soon.

And then of course there's American Idol. The great fun of the evening is trying to guess how drunk/stoned Paula Abdul is. It's fun to make snarky comments about the contestants but sometimes getting through the show can be a real chore. Thank goodness for my TiVo remote.

Television Without Pity recaps AI and the poor bastard that has to write those recaps must be suffering from brain damage. His recaps have an almost hallucinatory, stream-of-conciousness quality to them. I was dismayed when I learned that he was to start covering Battlestar Galactica but he's doing a terrific job. He loves that show, and he's actually a quite passionate, articulate writer. I highly recommend his BG recaps.

So we have learned:
Battlestar Galactica: Quality, compelling television!
American Idol: Destroys brain cells!
24: If you don't watch, Jack Bauer will shoot your WIFE!

Walking

Walking
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Brenden and I had our first (of many to come, I am sure) War of the Wills this weekend. He's just tall enough to reach a knob on our stereo receiver. Instead of putting it higher to where he can't reach it, I decided to try to instill some discipline. I kept saying "no", moving him away, and trying to distract him, but he would inevitably walk/crawl right back and start fiddling again. It got to the point where I would stand in front of the receiver and then he would bitch at me while trying to push me out of the way.

Eventually, and I mean some times it took 5 minutes or longer, he would go find something else to do. But he would try again later on and the whole process would be repeated. Finally around 7 last night he did it again, and I said "you know what, Brenden? I don't care. Have fun."

He fiddled, looked at me, fiddled, looked at me, fiddled, then he lost interest and walked away. That whole sequence took less than 30 seconds. Sheesh, kid!

We are going outside in the back yard more. I am letting him go wherever he wants as he is showing less inclination at shoving strange things in his mouth. Matter of fact the only thing I removed from his mouth this time was a rock. After playing in the grass for a while he decided to investigate the pool. I had a grip on the back of his shirt - I figured if he lost his balance I could keep him from falling in.

What I was not prepared for was his attempt to do a gainer right into the pool. He got halfway in before I got my other arm under him and pulled him out. He was too shocked to cry, plus he was busy coughing up that water he tried to breathe. He cried some but no hysterics. I got him dried off and changed with little fuss. On one hand it was pretty funny - you should have seen that look on his face! I think he thinks it's one big bathtub.

On the other hand, if he ever gets outside without me knowing it, he will most likely head straight for the pool and fall in. That's a sobering thought. I'm going to buy a door alarm plus some better latches for the screen door. Damn, I better lo-jack Brenden while I'm at it.

The Pool is Open!

swimming
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I found a nifty floatie for B at Target yesterday. It was warm enough to try out. It's still a mite chilly but we had fun.

Brenden's bipedal skills have sharpened immensely since he took his first steps. If you are so inclined (or just bored) you can take a look at some of them here.

Mowing the Cat

Mowing the cat
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I'm sorry this pic isn't centered very well. I bought Brenden a push toy for a walker and he has fun with it. He tends to push it until he hits something, then he bitches and keeps pushing until I help him turn it. Stubborn lad.

I wish I could remember what blog I read that linked to this song. I spent the weekend singing it to Brenden and using the cats as unwilling demonstation subjects. It is stuck in my head, of course.

Brenden is trying to walk! He will let go of the furniture and take 3 - 5 steps and fall down. It was a fun weekend.

BSG Voting Slip

BSG Voting Slip
Originally uploaded by CharlieBrown.

Sweet animal crackers, Lileks has outdone himself this time. And the great thing about it none of his commentary makes it funnier. The ad just speaks volumes for itself.

I know I haven't made any comments about season 2b of Battlestar Galactica. It was damn good, with the cliffhanger from season 2a resolved rather dramatically.

Things we learned in 2b:

1)Being a Pegasus officer is a form of suicide. Hopefully not for Commander Adama, who is now in charge. No, not Bill Adama, who is Admiral Adama now. Lee Adama is the Head Cheese. Him and his new squeeze Dualla.

2)Starbuck goes back to Caprica and rescues Anders. They're married!

3)Boomer 1.0 (the one who shot Adama) and the Model Six who seduced Gaius way back in the miniseries both have been downloaded into new bodies and thanks to their contact with humanity, think the Cylons made a big mistake in destroying humanity and are trying to change things in Cylon society.

4)2 episodes dealt with the squicky subject of Ab0rt*0n. I applaud the writers for not siding with either side of the issue, but merely using it to point out how politicians use the subject to manipulate voters.

5)Speaking of politicians, Baltar is now president of the Colonies. Laura is now a schoolteacher again. Baltar sucks as a president, which shouldn't surprise anyone.

6)Speaking of Laura, she is cured of her incurable cancer. It really doesn't matter how; like many fans I really didn't care all I know is she didn't die. Yet.

7)Speaking of dying, Boomer 2.0 and Helo's daughter was born premature. Roslin decided it would be a big mistake to let a Cylon raise the cybrid so they stole the baby and told Boomer her kid was dead. That's not going to end well.

8)Speaking of ending well, the fleet found a hospitable planet and everybody but a skeleton crew(s) are living there.

9)The Cylons find it too.

10)Because of Boomer 1.0 and Caprica Six, the Cylons don't blow the little colony to smithereens; instead they are keeping it like a little people zoo. I think that's called a 'reservation'. Or maybe a 'concentration camp'.

11) The latest cylon model looks suspiciously like Al from Quantum Leap.

I want to bang on the drum all day

drum
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I wish I had taken a 'before' photo of the pool because it's starting to look really good. It's a balmy 70 degrees right now so I'm not going to do any swimming yet.

The pool pump had problems over the weekend - just a wiring problem that Jon fixed yesterday - but I went out to look at it on Sunday but instead of trying to fix the pump I decided to commit genocide on a colony of ants who had taken up residence near the pump. Despite the high-powered hose those bastards came back. Jon dug them up and added gasoline on Monday. I wonder if they got the message?


If you look closely at this picture you might see a light blue easter bunny. Dad and Ileana stopped by on their way back to Oklahoma and they brought this toy. If you press it's foot it starts singing 'Here comes Peter Cottontail, hopping down the bunny trail, hippity hoppity Easter's on it's way...."

Brenden of course gets a big kick out of it and tries to attack it whenever I start the song playing.

And by attack I mean he gets a big smile on his face and lunges at the bunny and starts mouthing its face and drooling on it. It took me a while to understand his behavior.

It occured to me on Sunday. What do I do when I'm playing with him? I'll play, then all of a sudden I'll be overwhelmed with mommy hormones and I'll smile, sweep him up in a big hug, and plant kisses all over his face.

Brenden is merely imitating me. Except I don't drool. Much.

Smiley

Smiley
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I hope your Friday wasn't as fun as ours. I had to leave work early to pick up B from daycare - all the schools were letting our early because of the impending weather.

It didn't really strike until about 9 pm, and from then until midnight, I spent the night glued to the T.V. watching the approaching line of storms. I also spent a good deal of that time in pants-wetting terror because the tornado sirens in town kept going off.

Look, if it was just me at home, I'd pop a beer and find a baseball game to watch. But I had my 10-month old snoring in my arms, and I kept wondering what the hell I would do if a tornado did hit?

Of course I was ready to go into the hallway with something heavy to cover us, but what if something happened to me? Would the rescue people find Brenden before he got hurt? What if he did get hurt but I was unconcious or dead?

Bleah.

Brenden at the DZ

Brenden at the DZ
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

If it's April it must be time to start working on the pool!

Halfway through March the pool looked pretty decent, with just a thick layer of leaves on the bottom to mar its perfection. I spent a warm afternoon fishing out a bagful of leaves around that time. Not a week later, the weather warmed considerably and the algae bloomed. My beautiful pool turned into a swamp. I should have bought the requisite chemicals right then, but yo soy la slacker so I didn't get around to that until this weekend.

So the algae is dead and the pool is nominally blue but the bottom is now covered with a thick ooze. I turned on the pump to 'waste' and started vacuuming the bottom. When the pump is on waste it just sucks up the water and spits it out with no filtering. If I tried to filter and recirculate, I'd have to shut the pump off and backwash to clear the filter every 5 seconds. As it was the pump was spewing nasty booger-green water. I have barely scratched the surface - I mean the bottom - but it will be a month at least before the pool temperature will be tolerable.

So far I have only worked on the pool if Jon was able to watch Brenden. I'm going to have another go at vacuuming this afternoon if weather permits so I'm going to bring his exersaucer out so I can keep an eye one him. An exersaucer is kind of difficult to describe. He can sit upright in it, turn around, and it has a lot of little squeeky / rattle toys on it that he can play with. One thing he can't do is move it around but just to be safe I think I'll tie it to the patio furniture so that he can't bounce it into the pool.

Speaking of El Jefe:

Letter to Brenden Month 10

Holy crapoly, you're 10 months old! And you're sick again! Will you stop it? If you get sick I get sick! And this time instead of a cold followed by a sinus infection, I have a cold with a sinus infection!

Ah, guilt from mommy. I'm starting early, aren't I? It's a good thing you can't read yet.

So what's new with you? Not much to be honest. I don't really feed you baby food anymore - just the fruit. You are refining your grip so that you don't sqish peas too hard any more. Green beans seem to work better, and you just dig the hell out of goldfish crackers. You like scrambled eggs which is a great quick protein fix. Last night you ate scrambled eggs and peas, most of which you fed yourself. I'm truly sorry that the pool isn't clean yet because you were a mess! It would have been so easy just to grab your ankles and dunk you a couple of times after that.

I'm joking, honey. Partways. But it's cool that you can feed yourself so well.

Your new daycare provider has proven to be a mixed blessing. She opens late and closes early, which means your dad and I have split taking you and retrieving you. I mean mixed because your dad is taking care of you more and just like everything else he attempts he does it well! Sonya took an entire week off for Spring Break and you and dad had a great time!

Our favorite game is 'pass the toys' - I hold out a toy, if it's an animal I make the appropriate animal noises (you have an awful lot of ducks, hon. What's up with that?). You grab it out of my hand and stuff it in your mouth. I move onto another toy and we repeat. You are obsessed with you 'Baby Tad' singing frog - you push a button on his belly and he rewards you with a song. At that point you tackle the frog and start chewing on his lips.

But your favorite toy of all time is the TiVo remote. It's the one remote in the house that rewards you with noises when you press buttons. If I let you play with it all I hear is "kerPLIK kerPLIK BONK BONK BONK bing bing bink plikplikplikplikplikplik BONK BONK BONK" for hours on end. Last night I was just trying to change the freakin' channel to watch American Idol and you started crying hysterically, trying to grab the remote out of my hand. I finally dug through the TiVo menus and found the setting that turns off the TiVo sounds. You're going to hate me forever now, aren't you?

Cousins and Uncles

Cousins and Uncles
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Holy Crap but my last post was lame! Tedious, boring, dull dull dull!

Let me tell you what the Maynard household was like last night. I'm driving home from work, and as I'm about to turn off into our subdivision, I get a text message from Jon: "BRING BEER". So I turn around and head towards Decatur.

Just inside the city limit is a classic gas station/liquor store combination. As I'm paying for my 12-pack of Michelob Light, the owner of the store gives me a free beer. It's a Budweiser Select in one of those aluminum bottles. I guess they aren't selling very well if they have to give them away, but hey a free beer is a free beer.

I get home and I'm greeted by the wail of a 9-month old and the anguished look of a frazzled father. Brenden needed a hug, a bottle, and a diaper change. Then I fed him dinner which consisted of diced chicken (thighs are the best - more flavor plus they don't taste like pencil shavings if you overcook them) and green beans plus the occasional goldfish cracker. I help him eat, as well as chase the cats off (they are eyeing his diced chicken) while I work on my aluminum beer.

Once he's happy (and I'm working on a Michelob), I wash out the aluminum bottle and give it to Brenden. He is absolutely thrilled as he cruises around the room and bonks objects with his new bottle. I have noticed (as many parents have before me) that a child's interest in a toy is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on it.

Dad & Son

Dad & Son
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Letter to Brenden Month 9
So I'm only 3 weeks late. It's been a hectic Month! This one is going to be short, too.

Brenden, honey - you are still developing at a rapid pace. We have pretty much stopped feeding you baby food, except for some of the fruits. When I change your diapers, you vaccilate between fighting like mad with me and laying still, all happy, with your legs up in the air.

You are cruising pretty well. You can almost make a full circuit of the living room by holding onto things. Matter of fact, you are starting to get bored with just the living room. I hope it turns warm pretty soon, so I can spend some of our weekend afternoons keeping you from eating bugs outside.

Most of all I love how you are starting to sleep through the night. You wake me up occasionally with a 'WHAAA!' but you settle back down pretty fast.

You are so huggable, hon. Don't grow up too fast, ok?

Happy

Happy
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Cutting my teeth on bars
And rusty chains, I’m gonna break my
Rusty cage and run


Now lets see how many hits I get because of Soundgarden. Anyway, here's a pic of el jefe when he was in the hospital earlier this month. As you can see his disposition was unaffected.

Here are my reviews I haven't linked to:

Corpse Bride
Class of 1984
Pulse
Pride & Prejudice
Good Night, and Good Luck.

Some of the grammar and syntax errors really make me cringe. I have been in a hurry lately, as is the editing staff (they are overworked, I am running after my kid).

I am reviewing Everything is Illuminated next - all I know about it is a hobbit stars and that creepy guy from Phantoms directed it.

Ed's Tag

Ed's Tag
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I truly need to start posting more. I have kept writing reviews for Cinemablend but I have been too lazy to post links. I shall do that shortly.

My brother has finally unloaded his Atlanta house and will be moving up to Andover, Massachusetts at the end of this month. That sucks, the skydiving is much better in this part of the country! I wish him and his wife, Jen, well in the People's Republic of Taxachusetts.

Alabamastan is a much better place to live! Unless you want a beer or a sex toy.

And now for a slightly melancholic moment and brief movie review:

When Johnny Cash died I recall making the comment that he must not have wanted to keep fighting because his wife had died. That was just a romantic notion on my part; I knew just enough about Johnny and June to know their romance was legendary.

I finally saw Walk the Line last week and I now wonder if my comment wasn't more true than I believed. If you go by the movie, Johnny Cash was a weak man who just desintigrated when his first marriage went to hell. The pills didn't help either.

I saw Ray and a lot of people have commented on the similarities to the story. The biggest difference of course was that Ray Charles had a very tough streak in him and that's what pulled him through his problems.

If Walk the Line told the truth, if June Carter (and her family) hadn't helped Johnny Cash, we would have lost that legend a *lot* earlier than we did.

The thing I admire most about Ray Charles is his strength. The thing I admire most about Johnny Cash is June Carter Cash. No wonder he passed away only four months after she did.

I can't watch Cash's video for his cover of 'Hurt' without bursting into tears.

Brenden's First Blog Entry

outdoors
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

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Feeding

feeding
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Wow, have *I* been slack!

This week has been pretty hectic - about a month ago I noticed a bump under Brenden's skin when I changed his diaper. I thought it was odd, but it was small so I ignored it.

It remained there, about the same size, but he is due for his 9-month well-baby checkup this coming Monday so I thought I'd point it out to his pediatrician then.

Monday night, howerer, I noticed it had gotten appreciably bigger, so I took him to the doc on Tuesday. She was as puzzled as I was. It wasn't red, and it didn't bother B too much when we poked at it, so she ordered some blood work and made an appointment for us with a pediatric surgeon.

Jon took him to this appointment on Wednesday afternoon. The surgeon took one look at B's bump then at his blood work - his white blood cell count was pretty high - and told Jon to get B admitted to the hospital.

Pook kid was put under and they drained and cleaned what turned out to be an abcess. We had fought mighty hard with diaper rash for a while until a local lady told us about Boudreax's Butt Paste. Yeah, silly name, but that cleared his rash up. Unfortunately the rash had gotten bad enough that he had open sores at one point. Open sores + poop = nothing good.

We got out of the hospital this morning. He was kept on an I.V. for the administration of antibiotics - plus we were there for so long becuase they wanted to rule out a staph infection (staphylococcus aureus - there's words to strike fear in any parents' hearts!).

Turns out it was plain old e. coli.

Brenden did a phenomenal job of staying confined to a hospital crib for 2 + days. Apparently (and I'm totally projecting here) he inherited some of my easygoingness along with his dad's charm and exuberance.

So anyway, I owe a Letter Month 9 which I hope to get to soon. Brenden is currently tearing up our computer room so I know he's none the worse for wear.

Top Down

top down
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I love this photo of Brenden!

My computer's CPU took a dump sometime last week. I'm pissed.

I also have a sinus infection. I went to see the doc yesterday - I was tested for strep throat then they took X-Rays of my noggin. The doc told me the infection was 'pretty nasty' and that my maxillary sinuses were 'filled with pus'.

Ew ew ew ew ew!

I have this vision now of someone giving me a bear hug and my head exploding like a huge zit.

I just need the flu or bronchitis now and I will win Winter Season Bingo.

Dad and Son Day

son and dad 3
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Yesterday Jon took care of Brenden while I worked. This time it went pretty smoothly because Jon knew to devote the entire day to Brenden, and to not even pretend to try to get any work done.

We had Hamburger Helper last night, only with deer meat. Doesn't that sound like a "You might be a redneck if.." joke that Jeff Foxworthy rejected? Actually we have a freezer full of deer meat. A friend had a banner year deer hunting, and he gave us a deer and all we had to do was pay for processing.

I know some people blanch at eating wild game, but I have a simple philosophy: "If it's dead it's groceries".

Rocker

Rocker
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

After sending an email to Nancy explaining the missing word in my post below (I'll fix it eventually), I figured I better post something to cheer her up.

Enjoyed our Vacation

Sleep 2
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Happy Valentine's day, everyone.

As you can see, Brenden and I got caught up on our rest in Oklahoma.

I'm somewhat upset today - our daycare provider is closing up shop and becoming a loan officer at a bank. Jon and I spent yesterday looking at other daycare options. We found someone surprisingly close; I'm just not sure I like her as much as I like Shayne but I guess that remains to be seen.

We saw one place and I'm still bothered how the kids looked more like herded cows than kids. Brenden would never get the attention he deserves in a place like that.

I was listening to the news on the radio and heard a story about some woman who killed her baby by cutting off her arms. What the hell is wrong with people?

Climbing mom's leg

Climbing mom's leg
Originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Here's my latest movie review.

Letter to Brenden Month 8

Well my darling little child: I just reread the month 7 letter; at this time last month you weren't even crawling! Just last night you were chasing the cat. He tried to maintain a dignified but hurried walk but after the 3rd time you grabbed his tail he took off running with a huffy "Meow!".

I spent this last week trying to keep you from knocking your brains out of your skull. Most of the time I was successful but every once in a while you'd fall down and go "bonk". I'm impressed by your collection of bumps, bruises, and scratches. And the foam bumper thingies I bought for the coffee table and fireplace have already paid for themselves.

Speaking of the coffee table - last night you stood in front of the table facing your dad and I. We were eating our shrimp fettucini alfredo and occasionally feeding you a small piece of pasta. I swear once we get back from vacation I'm going to start planning meals around things you can eat with us. We'll see how well that goes.

You have also once again decided you don't want to use a binky. You started up again when your two front teeth started to make their move. Now that they are through the gum line you spit it out. I'm almost sorry because giving you a binky at 2 in the morning would usually put you back to sleep. Now I just have to let you sit there and bitch because no one will let you out of your cage. Oy! I'm so tired....

4 things meme

Sunday Morning
Originally uploaded by Iguana Mama.

Nancy tagged me with the "4 Things" meme. Here goes:

4 jobs I've held:

1)Software programmer
2)Pager repairer
3)Pizza delivery person (for 1 whole day!!)
4)Breakfast cook at Mrs. Winners

4 Movies I can watch over and over:
1)Aliens
2)Jaws
3)Dawn of the Dead (original)
4)Toy Story

4 Places I have lived:
1)Isla Verde, Puerto Rico
2)Stone Mountain, Georgia
3)Statesboro, Georgia
4)Decatur, Alabama

4 TV shows I love:
1)Battlestar Galactica (new one)
2)24
3)Lost
4)Spongebob Squarepants

4 places I've vacationed:
1)St. John, USVI
2)London, England
3)Pigeon Forge, Tennessee
4)Playa Azul, Costa Rica

4 favorite dishes:
1)Arroz con pollo
2)Buffalo Wings
3)Kung Pao Chicken
4)Puerto Rican Roast Pork

4 sites I visit every day:
I visit a lot of blogs but I thought I'd keep those out.
1)Sluggy Freelance
2)CinemaBlend
3)Instapundit
4)Virgin Islands On-Line (forum)

4 places I'd rather be:
1)At home with my son
2)My dad's place in Oklahoma
3)Cinnamon Bay beach, St. John, USVI
4)At home with my son

I'd tag my brother Edward, but that slacker hasn't updated his blog in *months*!

PS: the photo is of Cinnamon Bay.