Saw the head doc yesterday. We agreed to cut my meds to 25 mg of Zoloft for now. Yeah, I've had a few boo-hoo moments but they have been more normal - for instance I had a cry this last Sunday for no other reason than I felt left out of stuff. But the main thing I've noticed lately is I've been experiencing no anxiety. But anyways I should have posted this yesterday:

One of the reasons I haven't written so much is I haven't really been inspired. Helly and Nancy's responses to my last post gave me a little grist.

My first thoughts about Helly's talk with her boss was how embarrasing that must have been. I know she likes her boss from reading her blog. My second thoughts concern acting professional in the workplace. She kept asking for time off but he kept putting it off *until* she had a breakdown. It should never have to get that far, that's so unfortunate. I'm trying to imagine what a man would do in that situation: be more assertive when asking for time off? Get angry? Thinking about some of the things I see here men tend to be more confrontational. Maybe her boss kept pushing her because he thought he could without her getting confrontational. Not good. Maybe he just didn't see what was going on, but that's not good either.

Here's my own recent work story sort of in the inverse: when we got our new boss (old boss still there, we've just grown so we're split into smaller groups now) he asked for input about what we thought of our jobs and positions etc. I emailed him what I thought was a professional-sounding letter and I was open and honest. I made one complaint: I haven't been given enough to do ever since I announced my pregnancy and I felt "out of the loop". I explained I understood not being put on long-term projects but I knew from how busy everyone else was I could at least help someone who was bogged down.

So both bosses emailed me back to reassure me that I was a valuable member of the team, etc etc. That made me feel better. But they *keep* reassuring me to the point where I'm wondering what is going on. Are they worried that I will freak out? I know both of them are parents. Maybe their wives went haywire; I don't know. I haven't gone haywire at work; I have cried a few times at my desk but no one saw me, I don't think. Are they worried I might file some sort of discrimination lawsuit? Our company is in flux right now with a new CEO and restructuring etc. But dammit, I do feel better about my job so quit coddling me, y'all! Yes, he did give me more to do.

All in all, I can't tell if the problems both Helly and I have had business-wise have more to do with us being women or us being introverts. Maybe a combination of both? Either way getting emotional is not the way we want to communicate on a professional level. It SUCKS when you are forced to so you can get some freaking attention!