Here's Mean Girls; not my best review. I'll be doing I Wanna Hold Your Hand next.

I have been emailing with the woman who inspired that rant I wrote last week. I got to hear her side of things - she was very honest and direct, saying that she and Jon are friends. She did not try to assure me that nothing was going on, or any "how could you think that of me?" attitude. That would have smelled like bullshit. I think any one would have reached the same conclusions that I have; now I think they were the wrong conclusions. What ever problems Jon and I are having I don't think they will get any better if I drag someone who most likely has nothing to do with it in the middle. The big difference between being 20 years old and 40 years old is having enough sense to try to work through crap like this.

Again; not going to delete the previous post despite the wince value. I told Jon last night: I feel like I just fell into a lake and I'm floundering around looking for solid footing again. Now I'm on a "I'm trying to give him what he wants, why won't he give me what I want?" kick. Half of me in a nutshell in the last few weeks: "Oh boo hoo hoo, I'm so confused". The other half: "Will you just shut up so I can get some work done?"

Why can't I get "The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down" out of my head?

Jon is flying to Thomaston, Georgia to teach a Coach's Course. A coach is the first rung in skydiving instruction. I'll have a few nights by myself, which is okay I could probably use them, as long as my inner monkey doesn't start chattering in my ear again. You are right, Lachelle; insomnia sucks.

Speaking of monkeys:

Day 5:
Wet and rainy today; Jon and I went Scuba diving in the Pacific. On our way out by boat we passed Playa Ostional. Many sea turtles were surfaced in the ocean around thereand were either sun-bathing or having turtle sex (sometimes both). The visibility was unfortunately low because it was the rainy season and the rivers tend to wash a lot of silt into the ocean during that time. Still, I got to swim in the Pacific, which I have never done before.

We saw plenty of critters, including lobsters and octopus which were caught for later consumption. We also saw some small sharks and plenty of fishies. I didn't know there were so many varieties of starfish.

After 2 dives we spent the rest of the afternoon and the evening fishing. Jon caught a large Gar and a Jack (whatever that is). I caught a grouper about the size of my hand and an eel that was maybe as long as my arm. I sent both of them back home to their mommies.

Day 6: Elizabeth, Mark, Brett, Shawn, Jon and I split a tour bus and traveled about 4 1/2 hours to the Arenal Volcano. It was active, and during the day we could see chains of white puffs of ash along the volcano's slope, indicating partially hardened magma rolling and bouncing along. At night it was spectacular because you could see the red. The lightning also added a nicely ominous touch. We also saw a waterfall with freezing cold waters and a hot springs spa that was pretty damn caliente.

I'll finish this up eventually. I'm not really doing it justice. I need to post some photos. One of my favorites is a picture that Jon took of a huge toad. That thing looked like Jabba the Hut, only cuter. Just as fat, though.