Jon and I saw Troy last night. In a nutshell: it was good, but not great.

The movie was based somewhat on The Iliad. Some people bitched about there being no gods or supernatural elements in the story. I was quite happy that the screenwriter did away with those elements. Achilles is much more of a badass because he's *not* immune to weapons.

A quick synopsis: Princes Hector (Eric Bana) and Paris (Orlando Bloom) of Troy are visiting king Melenaus (Brendan Gleeson) finishing up a peace treaty. During their stay Paris and the king's wife, Helen (Diane Kruger), fall in love so he smuggles her on board their ship when they return. A pissed-off Melenaus asks his brother, king Agamemnon (Brian Cox) to help him get Helen back. Agamemnon has always wanted to invade Troy so he seizes this opportunity. Both brothers gather a huge invasion force that includes king Odysseus (Sean Bean) and warlord Achilles (Brad Pitt) and his myrmidons. Many battles ensue.

I loved the casting, although except for a cameo by Julie Christie and a priestess of Apollo named Briseis, the women in the story weren't that interesting. Helen was pretty, but in a vague sorority girl way. Cynical me also thinks that all of the other women's roles were chosen by the criteria that all of the other actresses couldn't be as pretty as Diane Kruger. Whatever. Briseis (Rose Byrne) had a lot more personality anyway.

The men's casting was dead on. Achilles is supposed to be pretty, vain, impetuous, and androgynous. And a badass. Brad Pitt spent a lot of the movie nekkid, which is fine with me. I don't particularly care one way or the other about his face, but dang those are some nice glutes. And pecs. And what a gun show! Same with Bana, though I like his face. Didn't care much for the beard. And speaking of Prince Hector, Bana played him as loving, loyal, intelligent, with a strong sense of duty. And Paris was a weak puppy fool for love. Agamemnon is a greedy powermad bastard, Odysseus is a charming, crafty, likeable man. Jest like the book.

It's a tragedy, of course. I had a few eye leak problems when King Priam (Peter O'Toole) goes to Achilles' tent to beg him for his son's body. It was a powerfully sad moment in the translation I read and O'Toole did a great job with this scene. The thing I liked best about this movie is like all good tragedies, it is tragic because you can look down the chain of events and point out places again and again where things could have happened different if only...

And I note that if this wasn't the story about the fall of Troy, modern day audiences would have died laughing at the Trojan Horse. No one would ever be able to accept just how dumbass the Trojan people behaved by letting it into the city walls. Apparently the collective I.Q. of the city dropped sharply when Prince Hector was killed. If that was a spoiler shame on you for not reading your Iliad.

In honor of Homer, word o' the day:

Myrmidon
SYLLABICATION: Myr·mi·don
NOUN: 1. Greek Mythology A member of a warlike Thessalian people who were ruled by Achilles and followed him on the expedition against Troy.
2. myrmidon A faithful follower who carries out orders without question.
ETYMOLOGY: From Middle English Mirmidones, Myrmidons, from Latin Myrmidones, from Greek Murmidones.