I received a lot of feedback for yesterday's post; thank you all of you. Some people said pretty much the same thing: Jon is encouraging the relationship so talk to him.

He reads my blog so he wanted to talk with me when I got home. He was upset, but he didn't lay into me or anything. He basically insisted that nothing was happening like I was thinking. He does talk to her a lot - he pointed out he talks to many people a great deal, including other women who I don't feel threatened by. He did say that he did talk to her about our relationship and that if that bothered me he was sorry, but she only said encouraging things, like "talk to (me), she's a good person", He said things have gotten better between us recently (and hearing that was a great relief), but if I chewed her a new one I would be making a mistake. Not a threat, just that she didn't deserve it and he didn't want her to get hurt for no reason.

He deleted the emails I read, but he said he wished he had saved them so we could go over them to see what my problem with her is.

Right now I'm feeling confused, but a lot more confident in Jon. I really do believe that he won't let anything happen between them, especially now. He says he does see me trying and he thinks maybe he ought to read that book Nancy sent me.

That leaves me with dealing with her. I am going to talk with her, but I am going to sound her out. I still strongly suspect she has a crush on him, but I do believe now that a) Jon doesn't see it and b) he would not do anything with her to hurt me.

There's always the temptation when you write something strong to hit the delete button, but yesterday's post is a good reminder of where my head was at that point in time. I truly hate not knowing where my emotions end and reality begins and I need to figure it out before I hurt someone who might not deserve it.