I am back from vacation. I had a great time and I'll be giving you all a day-by-day account of it, I hope, during this week.

However, last night I had an upsetting experience with Hartselle's Finest and I wanted to recount it before I start on the good stuff because I really need to get it off my chest:

I was pulled over last night because I was weaving. The officer who pulled me over was polite, but he was so damn sure he had caught himself a drunk driver he searched my car, he searched me, he gave me a field sobriety test, and he asked me a million times "have you been drinking? Do you have any other illegal substances in your car?"

I DO NOT drink and drive, precisely because I'm terrified of getting caught in a scenario like the above. But here's the kicker: I did have beer in my car. And I was weaving. Why? I was following Jon home from the drop zone last night; we were going to stop at a Chinese restaurant to pick up dinner. I wove because I misjudged the entrance to the restaurant. The beer was for then, and it was unopened. It's illegal to have beer in your car in a dry county. It's a jailable offense and you can only carry it in your trunk.

Of course I didn't go to jail. I have absolutely zip on my record (except for driving with an expired tag and it was Jon's car) plus the police would have 3/4ths of the county in the slammer. So he let me go (with my beer!) and a citation for the weaving.

Poor Jon just about blew a gasket. He had pulled up to the restaurant, he saw what was happening, and walked up to talk to the officer. The officer told him to go away. He feels the officer was disrespectful to him and he had a right to know what was happening to his wife. He was just about insane when he discovered I got the citation. I was scared shitless the the cop, who had just let me go, was going to turn around and give Jon the once over and throw him in jail for threats and cursing.

They were polite, but I was humiliated. I was up late crying last night and Jon spent a lot of time hugging me and trying to make me feel better (he succeeded). He finally convinced me to take some sleeping pills (over the counter and quite legal, dammit!) and I managed to get some sleep.

I try to respect the police, but it's hard to appreciate people who have the authority to do things to you that you can't do back to them.

Sorry for the bummer update. Up next: Monkeys!