Headaches for Mama

PictureOK3 171, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I cleaned the house Saturday and sunday to prep it for Christmas decorating. When I pulled the white christmas tree from the attic Brenden and both evil kittens were ecstatic. My blood pressure went through the roof trying to keep a small child and two large cats from climbing the tree. So far 11 or 12 ornaments have been broken and when I go replace them I'm going to buy plastic ones.

To top it off Brenden broke the screen on my Kindle Sunday. Fortunately it's still under warranty and the cheerful helpdesk guy at Amazon is sending me a new one and they're even paying the postage for when I return my old one. So Amazon's customer service gets a big "Hooray!" from me.

Oh Noes! Mom is rambling again!

PictureOK3 135, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

While watching the new Star Trek, the good chemistry between Chris Pine (Kirk) and Zachary Quinto(Spock) got me thinking, and scared, and I really don't want to go a-googling, but I'm betting that movie launched a billion slash fanfics. If you don't know what slash is, congradulate yourself and go look at some funny kittys. If you do know, and you read it (or even write it), hey - it's your thing and that's fine by me. I on the other hand accidentally read the beginning of one and an eye popped out of my face kind of like that scene in Friday the 13th 3D. I'm totally fascinated by the idea that people feel the need to write out and share certain scenarios but I have no desire to read them. Just - EWW!

That doesn't mean I don't understand the urge to write fan fiction. I don't write but I've read some (I've learned to look for sites that vet the material first). I understand the urge to change something or add something to a story because I understand the desire to make the story better (or at least less sucky - ask me someday for my very short version of Alien 3). For instance I've been reading all the Trojan War permutations I can find. I have disliked the fate of Troy ever since I read the Iliad, so the Aeneid at least makes up for their fate a little. I've been bothered by the death of Hector's son, Astyanax, so I was glad he gets to live in a movie variation, Troy. Hector still gets killed by Achilles though.

That leads me to David Gemmell's almost uniformly excellent Troy trilogy. It's biggest flaw is the hero, Helakion, A.K.A. Aeneas. He is nowhere near as interesting as Odysseus, Andromache, and an assortment of nifty made-up characters that populate the story. I was kind of put off by Andromache falling in love with this shmoe for unexplained reasons (other than he was hot). And, as if sensing his hero wasn't that great, Gemmell made Hektor an almost nonentity who people talk about but we rarely 'see' in action. But the narrative and the rest of the characters make up for the books. Hektor and Achilles' battle is pretty nifty with a twist I liked, and I could tell the legend of the trojan horse bothered Gemmell enough that he just had to change it. (SRSLY - any town stupid enough to let a hollow horse into their city walls after 10 years of battle pretty much deserves to be destroyed).

Then there's Dan Simmons' Ilium and Olympos which has to be read to be believed. I'll spoil just a little - Hector gets to live! Finally!! And Achilles' fate is well deserved and I'm still giggling about it.

So going back around to slash fanfic - are there any slash pieces about Hector and Achilles floating about? I would place money on it especially after Eric Bana and Brad Pitt got to play the characters in the movie but I'd rather cut out my remaining good eye with a dull spoon than go find out.

This is not where we were, either

Lake Guntersville State Park Campground, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Hope everyone ate too much. We went to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving (photos soon come) where Brenden rode around with mom, dad and Ilu)on the 4-wheelers, and even got to wheel around in his own ride (I told you, photos soon come).

Ed and Jen were there too, and I seem to recall much beer and wine drinking the entire time we were there. Dad is doing fine and cooked a fantastic turkey. Ilu spoiled Brenden, of course. Dad took Brenden to the store once for a quick trip and Jon and I were nervous - for my dad. He survived. B seems to behave better for other people which is a good thing.

We also visited Jon's niece, Tiffany, whom Jon hasn't seen since she was a baby. She's 17, now. Those visits actually went well and included a trip to the Dallas zoo (photos soon. I promise!).

What I'm Watching: Jen had us watch Hamlet II which is quite funny and does nothing to refute my bigoted attitude towards drama students and teachers. I also had a very long laugh because a couple of weeks before I saw this movie I honestly spent some time wondering about what had ever happened to Elizabeth Shue.

We tried to watch Planet 54 in the theater but Brenden acted up and we left before it was over. I don't think I missed anything. It sucked.

I bought Star Trek on Blu Ray and it's a shiny movie. This time around I still enjoyed the heck out of it but I'm thinking that if the cast and their interaction hadn't been spot-on terrific the plot would have sunk it. Which actually, now that I think of it, is the problem with every decent to good Star Trek movie so never mind!

Random non-sequitur photo Friday

IMG_3139, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I am currently reading David Gemmell's Troy trilogy; and it's something like the 4th re-telling of the Trojan war that I've watched / read (including Homer's take). It's not as much fun as Dan Simmons' totally loopy Iliad and Olympos, but it's as compelling. Of all people, Hektor's wife, Andromache, is my favorite character so far. I hope her fate is better than it was in Homer's version but I have a bad feeling.

Speaking of Dan Simmons, I ripped through his 3 trashy Joe Kurtz detective novels and I can't recommend them enough.

Massive Dynamic is the best name ever for a shady mega-corporation. I'm just saying.

Vacation Planning

digging2, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Jon and I have decided to go to St. John again next year for vacation.
Well me, mostly. Jon just looked at my vacation research, which I love to do like a hobby but he hates to do with a passion, and pointed to the villa he liked the most from my shortlist.

The winner is Sea Cay, (pronounced 'sea key', sometimes I have problems remembering how to pronounce cay). It's right next door to a villa we stayed at in 2002 so I know the view is fantastic. I've also heard from people who have stayed there recently that it's in excellent shape.

Brenden will be a few hairs short of 5 on this trip. It's going to be a long six months or so, but it's nice to have something to look forward to!

Nothing much again

IMG_3167, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Since Brenden has discovered Noggin Nick, Jr. I have had to watch much of that channel's programming. So this is pretty much a What I'm Watching post.

Blue's Clues: I don't know if this show is in production any more, but it's about a guy and his dog Blue. Blue leaves riddles around the house (heh) and the guy collects the riddles and tries to figure out what Blue is trying to say. Cute. Also bonus points for trying to teach kids about deductive reasoning.

Dora the Explorer: Dora and Boots explore and speak Spanish. I like this show. I hope no kid thinks he can keep a crime from being committed if he yells "SWIPER NO SWIPING!!!" long enough.

Go Diego Go!: I think he's Dora's cousin or something. He goes around rescuing animals. Cool for teaching kids about exotic wildlife, kinda boring otherwise.

Ni Hao, Kai-Lan: Kind of like Dora except Kai-Lan is Chinese. And she and her animal friends learn how to cope with emotions and social situations. Dora is more into solving problems. So I like Dora better. Brenden says "xie xie" a lot. I think that means "thank you".

Max and Ruby: Brenden LOVES this show. I hate it. It's about Ruby and her younger brother Max and they are boring bunnies. But Brenden loves it. It could use a retarded starfish or two.

The Wonder-Pets: My second most-hated show. A guinea pig, a turtle, and a duckling go out and rescue animals and sing about it. This program pushes cooperation. I keep hoping one of the carnivorous animals they rescue will treat them like a buffet.

Yo Gabba Gabba: This trippy show is hosted by a guy who desperately needs to eat a sammich or two. Other than that I like it; heck, Mark Mothersbaugh is a regular so how could it be bad? Fun songs sung by people in monster suits that Brenden likes to sing.

Wow Wow Wubsy: I miss Spongebob!

Laughing mom

Laughing mom, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I'm still here, just nothing to write about.

One big note, Jon and I went back into debt to buy his business partner out. No offense to the partner; he and Jon didn't see eye to eye and it just goes to prove business partnerships suck bad. Don't ever do it.

Brenden went as a clone trooper for Halloween. He didn't have a meltdown this year when I closed the door when we ran out of candy.

Mal and Jayne, unlike Big Fat Kitty, are not afraid of people so they stayed at the screen door the whole night watching people come and go. Both of them like to sit up on their haunches for extended periods of time. Little kids would come to the door, the cats would pop up on their haunches to look at them, and the little kids would scream "I WANT KITTY!"

I had a flesh-eating zombie dream the other night. I got so bored I woke myself up. Seriously. I think my zombie affection is over.

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I lol'd perhaps too much.

Wild Thing

Don't Ask, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Stacey took her 2 kids to see Where the Wild Things Are so we went too. I don't think the movie was too scary for Brenden, but the themes were over his head for the most part. I asked him afterwards if he thought the monsters were scary, and he said "No, they his friend!" He also understood that when the boy gets back in the boat, he's going home to his mom. Jon hated the movie and I liked it a bunch.

As the mother of a wild thing I felt empathy for the relationship between the troubled kid and his mom, and I loved that the kid behaved like an 8-year old - he wasn't brilliant or wise nor did he ever act like a little adult. He loved his monster friends but in the end he couldn't fix their problems. I think many people hated how down it was. I didn't think it was down - just truthful. Being a family is hard and sometimes all you can do is let them know you love them.

Speaking of hard: So yesterday I took Brenden to get his flu shot. He was having none of that. His new doctor, whom I like, had to hold him down and he screamed like his leg was being amputated. I think the 6 shots he got for his 4-year checkup pushed him over the edge.

Afterwards I bought him a bag of Skittles and some kool-ade (and me some beer for later) and we drove to see my doctor. I had to get my shots from the allergist. I wanted him to see that if you stay calm and don't look it doesn't hurt. He was fascinated watching the nurse shoot me, but he seemed skeptical about the whole staying calm business. He may be too young for me to appeal to his sense of logic.

One other fun child note: when Jon and I picked him up from his sitter on Tuesday, he suddenly turned around and tapped me on the belly and said "WHORE!"

Before I could belt him into Mississippi, he ran up to his dad (who had as big a "WTF" look on his face as I did) and tapped him on the belly and said "HIM!"

Yeah, he was trying to say "her" - getting the gender specifics of certain pronouns has been difficult for him. So I didn't belt him. We did work with him on his pronunciation.

Forgot to Mention

IMG_3294, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I forgot one movie: we watched Monsters Vs. Aliens, and it was good. The movie ads were very careful not to mention that the main character is a woman, because we all know that girls have cooties and little boys will suffer from estrogen poisoning if they see or play with anything girl-related.

But: the main character, on her wedding day, is hit by a gigantic meteorite that is imbued with some glowy substance that turns her into a 40-foot giant. She's captured by the military and imprisoned with a bunch of other monsters including a man-cockroach mad scientist, a missing-link fish-ape, and an idiot blob of goo.

Aliens invade, looking for the glowy contents of the meteorite, and the military makes a deal with its monsters that if they stop the aliens, they will be freed.

Besides the thousands upon thousands of in-jokes that b-movie fans will enjoy, I enjoyed that the heroine grows from a shallow bride to a real human being, so to speak, and learns to appreciate her freakishness (and her monster friends).

Dreamworks has dropped the animation ball many times since Shrek II, but in this case: More like this, please.

*chirp* *chirp* *chirp*

Dad and son, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Slooooooooooow news month.

Brenden invited Jayne to share the bathtub with him. Jayne didn't like it; not one bit. Brenden is lucky Jayne has been declawed.

fishing boy, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I haven't written much lately because I haven't much to say.

I've been watching Fringe, Dollhouse, and C.S.I., the last of which had a tribute to Office Space with TPS reports and bosses named Lundberg in the last episode.

I forgot to mention Fringe acknowledged its pedigree the first ep back this season when a senator who was questioning the funding for the Fringe division bitched about similar non-results from the old 'X division'. Earlier on in the ep a soon to be dead guy was watching tv where Fox Mulder was getting abducted by aliens. Nifty!

Dollhouse's first ep back was only interesting in that Jamie Bamber guest-starred and he used his true English accent. I bet a lot of people didn't even know he's English.

I saw Race to Witch Mountain, based on that old Disney movie. It was ok. It's a child-safe Dwayne Johnson movie. I think he's fun to look at so YMMV.

Also saw Chocolate, a movie with a non-sequitur title. I finally figured out it was a Thai movie which means many people were kicked. It's about an autistic girl who instead of being able to recognize prime numbers or recite pi to the millionth digit watches too many martial arts movies and imitates what she sees. The plot is stupid, but the stunt people totally earned their money.

The Mushroom is not Relevant

Trail mushroom, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Well, I have given up giving up caffeine. I'm kind of in a damned if I do damned if I don't conundrum.

First off, I have been drinking coffee since I was a kid and have been hardcore about it forever. I'm talking about a pot a day at least. I never deliberately tried to stop drinking it or to reduce my caffeine consumption in any way except when I was pregnant.

So there I was trying to keep my caffeine consumption to zero and I started experiencing aggravated athsma again. The last time I experienced bad athsma: when I was pregnant.

Check this out, or don't - here's the important excerpt:

Main results: Caffeine, even at a low dose, compared to placebo was found to significantly improve lung function, measured in terms of FEV1, FEF25-75 and specific airway conductance for up to 2 hrs post ingestion. This effect was sustained for FEF25-75 for over 4 hrs. Improvement was also seen in FEV1 up to this time, however this effect did not reach statistical significance. No data were available for specific airway conductance after 2hrs.

Or translated: I'm a caffeine maniac because it wards off athsma.

Bring on the java!

Brenden's First Fish!

Brenden's First Fish!, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

We just got back from a weekend of camping and fishing at Lake Guntersville. Brenden was very excited when he caught this fish. It was at least 3 pounds, and over a foot in length.

It was Saturday night, when we were all wore out from the day. He did not complain when we let his fish go.

Deep fried oreos!

Deep fried oreos!, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

No, I didn't eat one. Interesting concept, though.

By the way, what evil Safety Nazi made the movie theaters switch from coconut oil to vegetable oil to pop their popcorn? I bought some coconut oil and made some popcorn and the taste is 10 X improved! If I'm going to go to a movie in the theater and buy a $6 bag of popcorn, it better be tasty. Nowadays it tastes like styrofoam. If I owned some theaters, I would pop all popcorn in coconut oil and advertise the hell out of it.

We're going camping soon now that the monsoon season seems to be over. Brenden is totally psyched. We are borrowing a friend's boat so we can fish in Lake Guntersville. Brenden is doubly psyched about that. He told me we are going to "catch a fish, cut him up, cook him, and eat him. Yum!" (exact quote there).

The Evil Twins are home and losing their harbls and front claws hasn't slowed them down any. Yeah I feel a little bad about their claws (we didn't do that to Big Fat Kitty but he doesn't use his claws).

Fringe has returned, and I'm a little miffed that the first episode in the writers offed Olivia's partner, Charlie. In exchange the writers seem to be giving Agent Farnsworth more to do even though she's still Exposition Girl. Still I'm happy the mad scientist is back.

Dollhouse has returned as well and is in the ratings cellar (attic?) so here we go again.

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This pic reminds me of this story line from my favorite online comic, Sluggy Freelance.

Speaking of evil kittens, Mal and Jayne are in the animal hospital after having various bits removed. They are doing well.

Whee!

Whee!, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I have nothing to say; I just wanted to post this photo of Brenden at the fair.

ARRRRRRRRRR(gh)!

stranger, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

The family went to the Cullman County Fair last night, and much fun was had especially by the little one. Photos soon come, but I interrupt the scheduled blather for a heaping dollop of RANT. It is not politically motivated, so don't hit your backbutton yet.

In the winter of 1990 - 91 I was stationed at Fort Riley, Kansas. Fortunately for me Manhattan - a college town - was nearby, so I was able to find a well-stocked book store without difficulty (these were the ancient days before Amazon). One day while browsing for titles I bought a book simply because I liked the cover: On Stranger Tides, by Tim Powers. The cover featured a skeletal pirate, complete with pegleg and parrot. How could such a book be bad?

It wasn't. It was damn good, and right up my alley. There were indeed pirates, as well as undead pirates, ghosts, voodoo, swordfights, Blackbeard - all kinds of fun. I know, it kind of sounds like a Pirates of the Carribean movie, doesn't it? I'm getting to that, but first I always thought the book would have made a terrific movie (there's a swordfight in the hull of a ship during a horrible storm and Powers's writing is so vivid I can still see that fight in my head). I had a faint hope that with the success of the POTC movies someone might be motivated to film this book. Be careful what you wish for.

The 4th POTC's full title, I discovered yesterday, is Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. I thought I was going to have a brain aneurism right there, but it got worse. I Googled a bit and sure enough, found a press release saying this 4th installment would be "loosely based on the book". In other words, my beloved pirate book, a book I read at least once every couple of years, is going to make it to the big screen, with that idiot captain Jack SPARROW CROWBARRED INTO THE STORY.

The sad thing is I can see what character he can replace fairly easy. It's even sadder I can see where the screenwriter(s) could keep the main story faithful to the book even with the addition of Sparrow and Barbossa (Geoffry Rush's character) and the idiot crew of the Black Pearl. But what makes me saddest is that the screenwriters won't see what I see and John Chandagnac's journey from shallow euroweenie to Jack Shandy the brave and clever pirate will be shoved aside for Johnny Depp's Keith Richards impersonation. I bet money now that Jack Shandy won't even be in the movie at all.

I'm not happy about this development. Nope, not one bit.

Ruminating

Ruminating, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Now that my bulging disc is no longer bulging and am no longer taking pain meds / muscle relaxants, I was able to kick caffeine again. I haven't had any in 8 days.

Speaking of coffee, since I discovered that my headaches are migraines I have been paying attention to triggers. I had strongly suspected that low pressure systems are a trigger as I get migraines when it rains. I have pretty much confirmed it, and that low pressure system that sat and spun around the Southeast for a week or so just about tore me up. All hail Trexamet!

Brenden had a fever this past weekend, and now he has an ear infection. Poor little guy!

Jon B and I watched Monsters, inc a few nights back and Brenden, for once in his life, watched the whole movie beginning to end. The power of Pixar compels you.

Brenden has stopped watching Spongebob and now watches Noggin. I'm glad in one way because Noggin doesn't air commercials, but I'm sad because he wants to play 'Max and Ruby' with me (a boring show about bunnies) and it's not as fun as being Mr. Krabs to Brenden's Spongebob.

Jon, Brenden and I watched Coraline, which should have done better at the box office. I spent the movie wondering if it was CGI or stop-motion or a combination (according to iMDB it is predominantly stop-motion. WOW!). Either way the animation was wonderful. I also love just about any story of a girl where the plot doesn't involve her finding the figurative or literal Prince Charming. Brenden stayed for bits and pieces but was riveted near the end when the cat became an important part of the story.

Speaking of Brenden and cats, have I mentioned that if Brenden would have ever manhandled (that's a sexist term, now that I think of it) my cat Vasquez like he treats Mal and Jayne I would have screeched and punished him severely. As it is I look at them when they play together and think "Meh, they deserve one another".

TNT aired Doom, The Chronicles of Riddick, and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy a few Saturdays ago - all these movies have Karl Urban in them. It wasn't billed as "Karl Urban Night" but still, thanks, TNT! You forgot The Bourne Supremacy, however.

The first two movies I mentioned are not good movies, viewable only because of some eye candy. I have hope that Mr. Urban will be offered better roles because he received attention for playing Dr. McCoy in Star Trek, but his latest role will be as an (ugh) vampire. Fortunately it will be an Evil Bad Guy vampire, and I can hope he will be more like Severen from Near Dark as opposed to Edward, Lestat, or the innumerable other neurotic poofter undead that infest popular entertainment.

9/11

View of the majestic World Trade Center, originally uploaded by chadisalem.

Today is the 8th anniversary of the day we learned we're vulnerable. Today Iraq is looking more stable, but in Afghanistan embedded reporter Micheal Yon says 'the West is losing this war'. I try to avoid the political, but nothing makes my skin crawl more than reading about women subjugated to radical Islamic laws. I snarked yesterday about the Hmong and the Montagnards and what happened to them when we gave up in Vietnam, but a few of them, at least, are safe here in the U.S. I worry about the women of Afghanistan - I doubt any will be able to offer them freedom and safety if we leave.

I like Micheal Yon's website because he writes about the soldiers overseas. He has written compelling stories about American and Allied soldiers and they always make me think about my brief experiences in the military. I know I have written about basic training and a little about active duty in my blog - I don't think I wrote much about the soldiers I knew.

Some people seem to totally idolize our soldiers as heroic icons of virtue and sacrifice, and some seem to view them as homicidal sociopaths. While you will find people (soldiers and civilians alike) who fall into these two extremes, the truth is of course soldiers are human beings, and you get all kinds. I met many men and women whom I liked, some whom I regarded as assholes, a few who frightened me, and a few whom I felt honored to have met. Sometime soon I should write about a few from the more interesting categories I have listed.

In the meantime, we haven't had another attack in the United States, and I'm grateful especially to the soldiers who have worked, many at great cost, on stopping those who would harm us, and I hope we do not give up on Afghanistan for the sake of the Afghani people, especially the women and the ones who have been helping us.

Now back to my irregularly scheduled drivel. Ooh look! Cat pictures!