IMG_3631, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Actually, we did not go to Sportsmans Lake this weekend and feed the quackers and honkers but a nice person sent me these photos that she had taken at the beginning of September (Labor Day, to be exact).

Jon made it home jet-lagged but in one piece. We drove him to the airport on Sunday, however, because he has to teach a class in St. Louis. He'll be home on Friday. Brenden and I consoled each other by eating all of dad's swiss chocolate.

The ratio of hours of enjoyment to dollars spent, when it comes to Play-Doh, is pleasingly high in our household. I, however, am about as talented as a kindergardener and was only able to make little balls and strings. Brenden didn't mind; he'd take my little arsenal of Play-Doh balls and pound them flat with his plastic Bob the Builder hammer or load them up in one of Duck's flatbed trailers and choo-choo them around the table (Duck is a friend of Thomas).

Brenden's vocabulary is exploding - he surprised me during one of our Play-Doh sessions, by saying "poop!" and making the ASL sign for poop (make a thumb's up signal and grasp thumb w/other fist. Pull thumb out of fist. It's a very descriptive sign). He didn't get it quite right, so I showed him how and he got it right. Then it occured to me to actually check for poop. He had a good diaper load.

I was telling Jon on Saturday that my favorite part of being a parent was showing Brenden how to do something and watching him get it. The above forementioned poop sign is one example. He has a tough time with the "L" sound so I was showing him how to stick his tongue between his teeth and make a voiced noise and he got that too (he still can't combine it with words yet so light is still "wagh"). He can operate the DVD player quite well though I do have to discourage him from touching the disks after he eats warm, gooey chocolate chip cookies. After I chase him down and attack him with a warm washcloth it's okay though.

A year ago:

Aged Cat, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I still miss my kitty.

Jon is on his way home, none the worse for the wear (but we won't talk about his rental vehicle).

Yes, I will be watching the Bionic Woman tonight. Katee Sackhoff plays the bad cyborg (she plays Starbuck on BSG). Matter of fact, several BSG alumni are involved with this show including producer David Eick. If he can re-imagine dreck like Battlestar Pondersosa into some of the best TV going, it will be interesting to see what he does with a show I recall liking a lot more.

I'm also going to be watching Life, which is uncomfortably a lot like House only with a cop instead of a doctor. But said cop is Damian Lewis so I'm there.

The language therapist visited him yesterday and was way impressed with his leap in verbal skills. Here's the latest Brenden dialog exchange (said about 100 times the last 48 hours) :

"Dada choochoo!" (Or "dada ado!" or "dada milk!" or "dada bobob!")

"Call me mama, remember?"

"No, mama!"

Jon in Switzerland

Jon in Switzerland, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

The world is a very small place, these days. Jon just emailed me this photo while he was out drinking with his buddies after a relaxing day of jumping off mountains. As you can see from this photo, its no wonder BASE jumpers like to vacation there.

Yesterday I went to Target to get some prescriptions filled, and I thought of a little present I wanted to get Brenden for when he actually called me 'mama'. I found a little 'Terence the tractor' figure (one of Thomas the Tank Engine's friends). Brenden adores Terence. Every time the episode comes on where Terence pulls Thomas out of a snow bank Brenden will run around the house looking for Jon and I going "Ooo dada wook! Ooo dada wook! Dachoo! Dachoo!"

Anyway, I got home and wrestled with the packaging to extract the toy (that plastic is tough! You almost need a blowtorch to cut it), put it in my pocket, and went and got Brenden. He almost immediately called me 'mama' so of course besides showering him with love like an overaffectionate labrador (without all the slobber) I gave him his tractor.

He played with it all night and took it to bed with him. In the morning he asked me where it was so I retrieved it from his bedsheets and he took it with him to daycare. Brenden loves Spongebob but Terence is a God to him.

And to remark on Nancy's comment from last post: Fun with pronouns! I can see why they can be a difficult concept to grasp. Brenden, when he wants to be picked up, runs around in front of meand holds up his arms with an expectant smile on his face. He doesn't do it often; mostly after we've run to and around the park for several hours and I'm exhausted.

Breakthrough!

himom, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Brenden is not only now acquiring new vocabulary at a fairly active clip, he's saying "mama"!

Of course, he's not calling me mama. Here's a fairly common conversation:

B: "Dada, ado! Dada, ado!"
Me: (points to my chest) "No, I'm mama!"
B: (points to his chest) "I'm mama!"

One step at a time, I say.

More Randomness

swinging3, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Arr, everyone! It's Talk like a Pirate Day. I still think it should be "Drink Like a Pirate" day so that more people will participate. If you are a Pastafarian I know it's a holy day for you. Avast!

Jon is leaving for Switzerland this morning. He's going to go jump off some cliffs. It will be just Brenden and I for a week. I would love to go, but I have no vacation time, plus I don't want to make that kind of travel will a small child in tow. Jon is taking the camera and has promised lots of pictures.

He asked me, by the way, if I minded if he went. No, I don't mind. Of course I will worry some but he's a grown-up and I trust him to make good decisions. Sometime next year I plan to take a mini-vacation by myself, but it will probably be somewhere warm and near an ocean (with no cliff-jumping!). No firm plans as of yet.

Brenden seems to have some allergies - many people are suffering right now and he's had a runny nose, runny eyes, and a slight fever. It's not bad enough where I want to take him to an allergist just yet.

I forgot to mention: I took a bunch of photos of Sportsman's Lake Park in Cullman. If it looks deserted to you it's because it was 8 in the morning on a Sunday. We had the whole park to ourselves! Jon came along and he was as entertained by Brenden feeding and chasing ducks as I was.

Random Musings

sitting, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

We finished up Deadwood. I shall miss all those -ers.

I know all the trains and songs in the Thomas the Tank Engine series by heart. My favorite engine is Edward, of course.

I finally saw Mike Judge's Idiocracy. Like all of Mr. Judge's work, this movie is funny and underneath scary as poop. Imagine going to sleep one day and waking up in a world 500 years from now where the average IQ is roughly the same as Patrick the Starfish (or Beavis and Butthead, if you will). This movie has my favorite Wilson Brother (Luke). He plays an ordinairy (G.I.) Joe who wakes up 500 years in the future because of a messed-up military experiment. It's a world where the #1 movie at the box office is called ASS, which features 90 minutes of the same butt on screen the whole time punctuated occasionally by a fart. It's a world where no one drinks water - they drink a gatorade-like drink, which has electrolytes. No one can tell him what electrolytes are or what they are good for, but it must be better than water because it has electrolytes. Nobody listens to him because he talks like a fag and he also reads, which is a fag activity. Sound familiar? Getting scared yet? Mike Judge is a visionary.

In other news: Robert Jordan has died. He was writing the last book of a 12-book series. I have read all 11. My condolences to his wife, family and friends, but damn damn damn damn damn. I demand that George R.R. Martin be placed in the Witness Protection program.

In other other news: My sense of smell is now working fairly regularly now which is nice. Brenden is starting to cooperate when we try to get him to say specific words. He still draws the line at "mama", though. ("ball" "baw!" "bat" "ba!" "baby" "bebe" "cat" "kyat!" "mama" "DADA!")

Letter to Brenden Month 27:

copping a rest, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Well, Brenden; you are two and a quarter years old and you still refuse to speak anything other than Brendenese. You are picking up words here or there and even the occasional sign-language sign. You are comprehending more and are able to follow complex commands. You wanted to use your computer yesterday. You said "Dada, wagh! Dada, wagh!" "Wagh" is your word for 'light', which you have logically compounded to mean computer. I told you (as I've been telling you for almost 2 weeks) "Dada isn't here. I'm mama!" to which you will look at me like I've gone stupid, and say "Wagh! Wagh!"

When dada is home, by the way, I will respond to you calling me "dada" by saying "dada is in the bathroom/kitchen/computer room." Whereby you will head to that room to investigate instead of having to stoop to call me "mama".

But back to the computer, when you dropped the "dada" bit and just referred to the "Wagh" I said "First we must pick up your toys in the living room". Usually I have to point to each and every toy, but you picked up many things on your own. Most of them ended up in the correct boxes, which impressed me.

So I let you play on the computer. You can point and click pretty well, and you know where the "B" key is (also known as the "beeeeee!" key). I had to punish you and remove the computer, because you shut it down by pulling out the power plug. That's a big no-no, there, Cochise.

I'm very proud of you that when we walk around the neighborhood, if you hear a car, you will run up onto the grass away from the street. Yesterday you even reprimanded me for not getting on the grass. I was standing in the gutter. You told me said "dada ado!" "dada ado!" and pointed to the grass next to you. "Ado" is Brendenese for "let's go there".

You must taste real good to ants because you are finding all the ant nests around the house. You are covered with little bites. Every time we find a nest we try to kill it but the survivors manage to move somewhere else. I wish I could rent a couple of anteaters. Of course you would just chase them around like you chase poor kitty.

What We're Watching:

DSCF0089, originally uploaded by Drewnl09.

Not much, but Spongebob has a competitor now for Brenden's little toddler heart. It should be no surprise to anyone but I finally bought him a Thomas the Tank Engine dvd (narrated by George Carlin!), mainly because we caught an episode on PBS over the Labor Day weekend and he went ballistic because I couldn't play it again. Brenden already has lots of little TTTE toys, shirts, and books.

Jon and I are watching the last season of Deadwood when we can. If Brenden is still up we turn the sound down, because that is the most foul-mouthed show *ever*. Nevertheless I'm still cringing thinking about the day he calls his babysitter a "c--- s---ing c--t".

Despite the vulgarisms, Jon and I realized how much we love the show because we really missed the characters. The two protagonists (and occasionally antagonists) are Al Swearengen (Ian McShane) and Seth Bullock (Timothy Olyphant). While Al, a saloon keeper, was ostensibly introduced as the bad guy and Bullock as the good guy, (he sets up shop in Deadwood to sell hardware but eventually becomes sheriff), they've traded places and allied occasionally throughout the series. Right now they are best buds because someone even nastier than Al, (George Hearst, patriarch of the infamous Hearst family you might have heard of) has moseyed into town trying to buy up everyone's gold mines and he has the muscle to make it happen one way or the other.

I've really come to love Al, even though he is one evil sumbitch. He is such a howl and despite his murderous ways he is brave and follows his own code of ethics. (I came to sympathise occasionally with Tony Soprano, but I never liked him. I love Al). Seth Bullock is so upright and upstanding I'm sure he poops diamonds (don't get me wrong, I like him too; especially when he gets his sense of justice all in an uproar. There wasn't one person watching who didn't cheer when he hauled Hearst off to jail literally by the ear).

But it's not just them; there's the ill-fated Wild Bill Hickock (not a spoiler if you know your history), his friends the decent Charlie Utter and the wonderfully loopy but good-souled Calamity Jane (she's our favorite). There's also Doc Cochran (Brad Dourif in a non-slimy role) who saw way too much during the Civil War and has perhaps the biggest heart in town (and pays for it).

I really care about these people and what happens to them. I curse the powers-that-be at HBO for cancelling this most excellent show. Now that they've cancelled David Milch's John From Cincinnatti (no offense Mr. Milch, but that cancellation was warranted), maybe he can get around to making those Deadwood movies he promised us to wrap up all the story lines.

Labor Day

Hi dad, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Brenden and I had a semi-busy weekend. Friday we ran to the park near the house and investigated many rocks, leaves, pine cones, and small animals. Brenden passed by a slide he had fallen off about a year ago (I swear I looked away for only a second!). He pointed to it and said "Ow!" and rubbed his butt with his other hand. (He fell on his ass). Pretty darn good memory!

I really can't remember what we did Saturday. I'm sure it had something to do with shopping and swimming in the pool. Sunday morning I went out to tackle some overgrown bushes in the back yard when I heard Brenden screaming. I ran to him and found a swarm of ants on his feet. Poor kid was standing in an ant's nest! I took him inside and slathered his feet with hydrocortisone and gave him some benadryl. He was out of it for most of the day - not sleeping, but not really active. I used the time to catch up on some couch potatoing and finished William Gibson's 'Pattern Recognition'. Science has finally caught up to his fiction so he's writing modern-day thrillers now.

Brenden made up some time on Monday, when we went to Sportsman's lake park in Cullman. It's a nice SHADY park with a little lake. The lake has a duck and goose population that are spoiled by people feeding them bread and crackers. Some folks were good enough to share their bread with Brenden. He got a big kick out of feeding the ducks.

In other Brenden news he has another tooth coming in. He's not supposed to get another one for a while, but he's got another upper molar peeking out. He's also still refusing to say 'mama'.

Under the Table

under the table, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I know what you're thinking: "Sheesh! Is she ever gonna update?"

Not much is happening. Brenden finally had his first speech lesson. We've been instructed not to respond to him unless he uses the correct words, like I need to stop responding to him when he calls me "da-da". That's going to make for a long weekend.

Is there anything else happening? Nah, not really. Have a great holiday weekend, everyone!

More swimming lessons

More swimming lessons, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I've mentioned before that el jefe and I have spent most of our outdoor time in the pool during this scorching month. Unlike previous years, I have enjoyed the pool a great deal this year. Usually around this time I would have begun to neglect the pool out of disinterest and it would be muddy green but it looks pristine blue right now.

I guess the big difference is how much Brenden enjoys it. He is comfortable with those little inflatable water wings and he paddles around like he's been doing it his whole life.

We had a thunderstorm roll through Friday afternoon and it was cool enough we went out on the front porch where I blew bubbles and he chased them. He also wanted to go run up and down the street, which we did. It was too late for us to go all the way to the park, but we ran (and I do mean run, that little guy is fast!) for a good 20 minutes or so.

Saturday was Jon's birthday so I baked him a cake and B and I spent a little time with him at the DZ. They were superbusy so we left before 10. Then we came home and swam, swam, swam. We started Sunday off with some swimming, too. Matter of fact we spent several hours in the pool. Then came lunch and some Spongebob and I finally got Brenden to nap for a while. I planned to take him back to the pool after dinner (spaghetti!).

We went out at about a quarter after five. I had not been paying attention to the weather, and it was getting cloudy. I told B we'd stay as long as I didn't hear any thunder. I was thinking the clouds would pass to the east of us, but the pattern was screwy because the clouds decided to blow from the southeast to the northwest. I heard thunder so B and I went indoors much to B's dismay. I let him play in the bathtub for an hour and he was happy.

That was our weekend; pretty much like all the weekends of this summer.

BUUUUUUURP!

buuuuuuurp, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

What we're watching:
Brenden doesn't insist on his train DVD so much so we're back to a steady diet of Spongebob. We've also managed to see a few movies recently:

Scary Movie IV The less said about this one the better. Hey, you watch The Alphabet Train 7,421 times in a row and see how desperate you get!

300 I knew I was going to like this movie but really I loved it! It has everything I love about movies: Men in very little clothing yelling at each other. The Spartans were wearing things kind of like tighty whiteys (except brown) and red capes, greaves, and helmets. And big honking shields. And swords and spears.

Apparently "Sparta" is a greek word meaning "badass mother[BLEEP]er" as a group of 300 Spartans, led by King Leonides, held back a bazillion Persians led by King Xerxes at the battle of Thermopylae. They held out for 3 days before being betrayed (hope I didn't spoil it for you) but Xerxes' highly disproportianate losses helped defeat his desire to extend his empire into Greece.

The movie does go into Spartan society just enough to see how such men were raised - I was surprised to discover that Spartan women held more status than I previously thought (I got that from reading, not from the movie, which I originally thought was exaggerating to make the Spartans more sympathetic). They certainly held more status than Athenian women, and could even hold land (a common occurence in societies where men died off at a pretty active clip). Women who died in childbirth were given the same honor and burials as men who died in combat.

A quick side note here: I don't mind cultures that regard women's number 1 duty is to be mothers so long as they honor their women. Cultures that insist on treating women as crap are the ones that piss me off. How anyone can justify treating their mom so bad is beyond me.

Anyways, awesome movie! Bloody, stylistic, and many buff bodies. Hoo-ra!

Letter to Brenden Month 26

dada!, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Little dude, why are you so stubborn? I know you can learn new words; just last night you were saying "cheep cheep cheep!" along with the little chicks in the Barnyard Dance book you like so much. Yet you will get all shirty with me if I ask you to say "mama".

So as you stubbornly refuse to learn more words, you stubbornly work on your swimming. We go into the pool every day (and in this weather, I am insanely happy we have one) and you have started to kick around the shallow end (wearing a ring floatie). You will chase me or dad in slow motion and that's more fun than a train-load of monkeys.

All aboard

allaboard, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Our semi-impromptu trip to Chattanooga was fun. We met up with Mark, Nancy, and Anthony and ate breakfast at the hotel's restaurant (fantastic hash - how many times do you get to say that?) then missed the first train at the museum. We wandered around the parked train cars for a bit in the scorching heat then hid out in the depot for a while.

The steam train WAS!!! AWESOME!!! That wasn't B's reaction, that was mine. I've never seen a steam engine that actually ran and it was *n*i*f*t*y. Brenden got a kick out if it too. After the choo-choo ride we all went to eat lunch at an available Applebee's. Brenden decided to sleep for most of it but woke up in time to devour his corn dog. Brenden is all about corn dogs. I was totally impressed with Anthony, who wanted fries but was denied because of his peanut allergy. Me, I would have thrown a conniption fit at his age. Anthony was disappointed, but didn't go into hysterics or anything.

It was a fun, relaxed, absolutely scorching week and I always enjoy seeing my old friends.

The Tick (paraphrased)

The Tick 2, originally uploaded by celiathepoet.

From an old friend; the best quote about parenting. Ever.

Everybody was a baby once, Sandra. Oh, sure, maybe not today, or even yesterday. But once! Babies, chum: tiny, dimpled, fleshy mirrors of our us-ness, that we parents hurl into the future, like leathery footballs of hope! And you've got to get a good spiral on that baby, or evil will make an interception!

I has a cell phone!, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Brenden's finger is doing fine - he has a black fingernail, of course, but he's using it normally. The nail looks like it's still growing so that's a load off my mind.

We bought a new refrigerator and let me say right now I will never buy a Kenmore again. The old one's compressor went out, a couple of months after its 5 year warranty. Boo!

We discovered a new vocabulary word of Brenden's: "Boat!". It figures.

What we're watching:

While surfing around 2 weeks ago I caught a nifty little episode of 'Extreme Machines' about steam trains on the Discovery Channel. Brenden went absolutely bananas while we watched it and so far, I think I have had to watch it about 1,542 times. In desperation I bought him a DVD called 'The Alphabet Train' which is more kid oriented with a bunch of trains and have watched that about 5 times through with him. About the only way I can distract him from choo-choos is with some Spongebob, and Nickelodeon finally started showing some new ones.

El Guapo

Happy Kid, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Jon is replacing the Evil Child-Eating Garage Door Openers as I type; we went and bought new ones last night and I'm ashamed that we didn't do it sooner because the price wasn't that bad.

The fridge also decided to die over the weekend and the fridge guy should be out to look at that today, too. I'm glad we have a chest freezer.

Brenden is doing good. I was real worried about him being in pain because he was prescribed only about 3-4 days worth of Lortab, but he is cruising along fine on Advil now. His finger, while a nice shade of purple, looks better than expected. I won't post pics - while I'm amused by adult boo-boos, little toddler boo-boos make me want to throw up until I'm inside out.

For some reason, Brenden has finally gotten a case of Velcro-to-mommy-itis. He has never had problems with me leaving before but the last week (it started earlier than his run-in with the garage door).
He also insists I stay with him while he falls asleep.

A quick note on Tampa: my dad is doing pretty good; the chemo is tiring him out but overall he doesn't look much different than the last time I saw him. I have never been to their new house down there and it's very nice and right next to a golf course. Brenden and I wandered over there a few times to walk around (with no golfers around, of course). Dad & Ilu have a pool so of course we spent a lot of time in there.

We also visited the Florida Aquarium, and while it's small compared to the other ones I've seen (Baltimore, Chicago, Chattanooga, Gatlinburg), it's impressive and worth checking out. We also visited the Tampa zoo which is freakin awesome. It was way too hot, however and B wasn't in the best mood because of it. We tried to visit the beach but the surf was rough and seaweed-infested. We managed to pack a lot into a 4 day vacation!

Ouch

happyboy, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Ugh. This entry was supposed to be a trip report to Tampa. We had a great time, thank you. Look at the photos and I'll blog about it later.

But yesterday afternoon Brenden broke a finger. It was the tip of the finger, but it was mashed flat - one of those things that happens in an instant.

I took one look at his finger and told Jon we needed to get him to the hospital. We loaded up in the van and took him to the little one here in town. I was so glad we were able to get in immediately. A nurse gave Brenden some Lortab and Benadryl, and I'd say it took about 20 minutes before it kicked in. In the meantime he was crying pretty bad.

After some X-Rays (and that wasn't fun either) the doc told us he had a small fracture. That's not so bad. He will probably lose the fingernail, and what is upsetting me is he damaged the fingernail bed, so he may not grow a nail back where he hurt it.

Once we left the hospital, Brenden was feeling the Lortab just fine and was cheerfully pointing out the window of the van and going "Ooo dada wook!" at everything. We stopped to fill his prescriptions and we ate some MacDonald's while sitting in the van waiting for them to be filled.

I didn't have much appetite but Brenden packed away just about all my french fries and took a bite out of each of my Chicken McNuggets. I wasn't that hungry, anyway.

Jon and I were quite rattled about this. Jesus, if he had broken his leg I think both of us would have dropped dead from heart attacks! Skydiving doesn't hold a candle to parentood when it comes to terror.

Fashion Model

backpack2, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

We're leaving tomorrow afternoon for Tampa. Jon found out that Southwest flies out of Birmingham direct to Tampa for some seriously reasonable prices. In the meantime:

Letter to Brenden Month 25:

I heard back from the good folks who tested you, and you 'eligible for services' in the area we suspected - communication. I am meeting with someone next Wednesday where we will draw up a plan of attack to get you talking better. Neither your dad nor I think there's anything wrong with you but maybe I'll learn some things about little kids when I meet with this guy. It will be interesting to see the full results of this test.

Ironically, I think you are getting better at talking. You love saying "Dada, woo! Aypluh!" (Mom and/or dad, look, there's an airplane!). And I love it if I ask you if you want something. You will hear an important key word in my question, whether it be "juice", "chocolate", or "cheese", and you'll say "yeah! Yayayah!"

And even though you resist trying new words, you are not above new sounds or actions, like you love imitating faces we make, or when we all brush our teeth together you picked up spitting pretty fast.

The big news of this month is of course climbing out of bed. What I haven't reported yet is you learned to climb over the gate we put up in your doorway pretty damn fast. I'm sorely tempted to duct tape you to your mattress when it's time to sleep but we'll give you a chance to sort it out. I really should have bought you a larger bed because you will grow out of the toddler bed in oh, about 3 months I'd say. We love you, monkey-boy!

messy2, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

No word yet on Brenden's testing - not that I would expect a government agency to be that fast.

We will be visiting dad and Ilu in Tampa next weekend - turns out Southwest Airlines has some pretty sweet deals on direct flights out of Birmingham.

I'm rereading the Harry Potter series in anticipation of the 7th and final book, which will be released July 27th. I am getting it from Amazon and will read it as soon as I get it otherwise I will go insane trying to avoid spoilers which I expect will hit the internet any moment now.

It's been a slow news week.

Not about the Cat

Kitteh2, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

The assessment was pretty fascinating. I was impressed, first off, that Brenden actually listened to the women who came by (one is a neighbor 2 doors down, by the way - that was amusing). The assessment involved many questions for us (us being me, Jon, and our babysitter) which ranged to how much fun my pregnancy was to Brenden's health to how he interacts with other kids (not aggressive, but not into sharing).

I can't remember all the tests - they were fairly comprehensive, but they included rattling several things where he couldn't see to see if he noticed, and seeing if he could color with a crayon in a certain direction if shown how. He was asked to match pictures of shapes to one another and he got a few of those (he aced the stacking, sorting, and shape matching). He started faltering when one of the testers set an array of objects in front of him (a brush, a cup, a shoe, a few other things) and asked him indirect questions about the objects like "Brenden, would you like something to drink?" (Brenden ignored the cup in front of him but ran to get his sippy cup). He got the "what do you put on your feet?" but missed the "would you like to fix your hair?" That's fairly advanced though.

He absolutely wouldn't answer questions about some mommy/daddy/baby dolls but I think he was losing interest at that point.

Most of the language questions they asked us, and we came up with about 10-12 words between us that he uses on a regular basis. He doesn't use pronouns, and he rarely forms compound sentences (beyond dada nana meow).

We'll find out what the results are Thursday. Have a happy 4th, y'all!

Oh, PS Helly and Alan, you are most likely right, he'd probably take to those words like a sponge to water. The last word I can think of that he learned was "poo poo!" (which he occasionally says while clutching the back of his diaper).

Stealing Nancy's Photo

Brenden & Dad, originally uploaded by nheiges.

My friend Nancy has written on her blog about her son's reluctance to be adventurous while Brenden seems to be fearless. Her son, though, has remarkable language skills while Brenden's skills are starting to lag. I'll trade you a little adventure for language, Nancy.

Seriously, Brenden's babysitter has talked me into getting in touch with ChildFind, a state sponsored program that helps screen for and correct possible deficiencies in toddlers. I know, he's only 2 for Pete's sake, but he doesn't have the same language skills most children his age have. He seems to not want to learn new words and is extremely stubborn about it. For instance, we have been working with him to get him to call me "mama", but usually he ignores us, or says, "No, Dada!"

2 speech pathologists are coming out this afternoon to evaluate Brenden. If nothing else, maybe they can give me tips on how to get him to start saying things. If they find a problem, well... I'll deal with that when I get to that point.

Helly tagged me! I rock!!. I'm supposed to tag 5 of the women bloggers I know but they've all been tagged. Nancy, you're tagged again! So there.

Mad Scientist

Mad Scientist, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Brenden is slowly adapting to his new bed - getting him to sleep is a bear, but he is staying there for the most part. We put up a gate once we put him to bed and he'll stand there in front of it and complain. Finally he gets tired of us getting up and saying "go to bed!" so he'll just stand there. Then he realizes he's just plain tired and finally go to bed.

He loves his new bed, by the way. He just doesn't like to sleep in it. He's definitely one of those kids that hates to miss out on any of the action.

He's not really sick any more, which is helping, too. The medicine the doctor gave us to help his cough and help him sleep helped with the cough, but also revved him up. A stoned Brenden is twice as hilarious, but not at 9 pm.

What we're watching:

License to Kill Bad Bond, James Bond. Timothy Dalton's 2nd and last Bond movie. My opinion of it still holds - it's too scattershot to be a good Bond movie. One thing of note - one of the Bond Girls saves his ass several times. Bond is too much of a jerk to thank her, of course. That's just staying in character.

Thunderball More Bond. This movie is old style James Bond, back when he wasn't just a jerk, but many of his actions towards women would have had him arrested in this age. The best part of this movie is snerking at all the ideas Mike Myers stole to create Dr. Evil.

Delta Force II: The Columbian Connection Chuck Norris kicks evil bad guys in their faces!!!!
What the hell did you expect?

Toy Story We haven't seen this one in a while - it's as cute as it's always been, and I was amused to note how far Pixar animation has gone, as well as how far other CGI animation still needs to go to catch up to even this 1995 movie. One surprise in the credits: Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer's creator) has a screenplay credit for this movie. I bet some of Sid's actions (the cruel kid) and the toy's revenge on him were Whedon's twisted ideas.

Ni ni!

ni ni, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel sleepy...

The alternate title to this post is We don't call him 'monkey-boy' fer nuthin', because Brenden finally realized he could climb out of his crib Friday night. I don't mean he climbed to the top then fell out - he scaled it like he had been doing it for months. I knew he had the skill set and it was just a matter of time. His new toddler bed is in the back of the mini-van.

Brenden is also sick. I took him to the doc's this morning because he had a little fever Saturday night (no stupid John Travolta jokes there, ok?) and a lot of head congestion. He kept waking up and crying because he kept coughing. He slept with us Saturday and Sunday because it's the only way we got any rest at all. The doc prescribed him a pretty decent cough suppressant/decongestant, which I'll give him tonight so we can all sleep. I hope.

Because of Brenden's new mobility, getting him to bed on Saturday (this is before he woke up and started coughing) was impossible so he stayed up until about 10pm. Jon has a jumper friend who will be headed to Iraq in a few months and is leaving for training this week so we had a party for him at the house Saturday evening. My job was to chase Brenden which was actually easy because all he wanted to do was sit in the hot tub then go play in the pool over and over again (and I'm well aware this might be what made him sick). It was nice to talk to people I haven't seen in a while. About 8 pm B and I retreated to my bedroom and watched The Spongebob Squarepants Movie before we finally tried to go to sleep.

After posting that meme I was wondering if I really do still quote from Aliens. After discussing a disaster with my husband this morning, I said to him "If they total it let's just bug out and call it even". So I guess the answer to that is yep, I still quote.

Kitteh

Kitteh, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Now I remember why I bought a kegging system

Brenden decided he didn't want to go to bed so I had to block off the kitchen to set things up to bottle my beer. So Brenden was cranky, I was cranky, Jon was cranky. Finally I was able to get B to sleep and Jon and I worked on getting the beer bottled. I had bought some swing-cap 16 ounce bottles and they came in a sturdy carboard box so after we filled the bottles we put them back in the box.

While Jon was carrying them to the back bathroom (only place that is cool enough plus we don't let Brenden back there), I hear a mighty crash and I run to see the bottles all over the place.The box bottom had not been taped shut. Jon apologized a million times because I was upset, but I was n't at him. I didn't see that the box wasn't shut either so it would have happened to me had I taken them to the back. I lost 6 16 ounce bottles which means I lost about 8 regular bottles worth of beer more or less.

Next batch I keg for sure!

This meme I found on a blog I'm enjoying: Johnny LaRue's Crane Shot and if you know who Johnny LaRue is, love marginal movies/TVs, and are in your early 40's I bet you'll enjoy it too. This is a fairly simple meme:

1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times.

I can name 10 off the top of my head:

10) Star Wars IV (Like anyone calls it "A New Hope")
9) Empire Strikes Back
8) Return of the Jedi
7) Raiders of the Lost Ark
6) Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind
5) Jurassic Park
4) Terminator
3) Dawn of the Dead (original)
2) Jaws
1) Aliens

2. Name a movie that you've seen multiple times in the theater.

See that list for #1.

3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie.

Throughout the years only one man has remained a constant: Bill Paxton. Srsly! Even though I haven't watched Big Love yet. I intend to!

4. Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie.

Tom Cruise, though I really don't dislike him any more. Brad Pitt, maybe.

5. Name a movie that you can and do quote from.

Aliens, duh.

6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.

I used to be able to sing along with Jesus Christ, Superstar

7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with.

None comes to mind these days.

8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.

Spider-Man II

9. Name a movie that you own.

Oh, come on!
Rustler's Rhapsody

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.

Marky Mark. Actually I'm even more impressed with Donnie Wahlberg.

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what?

I couldn't list them all! I think the last one I saw in a drive-in was The Frighteners.

12. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven't yet gotten around to it.

Currently Little Miss Sunshine. Since whenever Bridge over River Kwai

13. Ever walked out of a movie?

Poltergeist III. I only walked in to get out of the sweltering heat and kill some time and this movie was so boring it drove me out.

14. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater.

Eesh. I'm always crying. Easy tear leakage, even in a key scene in Spider-Man III this year.

For most tear leaking I'd have to say Grave of the Fireflies.

15. Popcorn?

Well, yar!

16. How often do you go to the movies (as opposed to renting them or watching them at home)?

Ever since Brenden was born maybe only 1 or 2 a year.

17. What's the last movie you saw in the theater?

Spider-Man III.

18. What's your favorite/preferred genre of movie?

Gangster. No, War. Wait, Science Fiction. Wait, Horror. Nope, Action...

19. What's the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?

Herbie the Love Bug I think.

20. What movie do you wish you had never seen?

Straw Dogs. Plenty has been written about Sam Peckinpah being a misogynist. After watching this movie I'd have to concur. BLAH!

also:

Eraserhead. Not because it was vile but because it was the cinematic equivalent of listening to Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music.

21. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?

That's a good question and I'll have to think on it for a while.

22. What is the scariest movie you've seen?

Dawn of the Dead - It gave me nightmares! Nothing gives me nightmares, but I have had flesh-eating zombie nightmares ever since I saw this classic back when I was 15.

23. What is the funniest movie you've seen?

Krep. Funniest of all time? Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I say so because it still makes me laugh even though I can quote all of it. Currently I'm surprised to admit how much I totally love Dodgeball.

What I'm Watching:
I forgot to mention I watched Constantine while Mark and Nancy were visiting. While it's not a great movie, and despite my Keanu love I wish someone with a little more depth had been cast as the otherworld-weary eponymous character, I really dug the Christian mythology.

'Half-breed' devils and angels live on earth, spreading their respective leaders' wishes with whisper campaigns as the rest of Heaven and Hell stay out of our world because of some bet that God and Satan have. Sometimes the half-breeds cross the line and do something off-limits (like try to posess someone) so Constantine, who is apparently some sort of excorcist, spends his time hunting these offenders down and blowing them back to Hell. He does this because he tried to commit suicide when he was younger and succeeded for a few minutes but was revived. He knows he's going to Hell, so he's trying to get his sentence commuted by doing a few good deeds. Satan, however, is so pissed at him that Constantine knows that when he dies for real, Satan's going to show up himself (despite the deal) to collect his soul.

I wish the story had been handled better, but I really liked the premise.

Lord of the Silliness

airplane2, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

What I'm Watching:

Aragorn-I mean, Eragon Luke Skywalker lives on a farm with his uncle owen, in a land ruled by Darth Sauron, a dragon rider who betrayed and killed all the other dragon riders. Luke finds a dragon egg, hidden by Princess Leia, who was taken prisoner by the evil sorceror Darth Saruman who is Darth Sauron's minion.

The dragon hatches and uncle owen is killed so Luke has to run away with the help of Obi-Wan Kenobi. They flee towards Rivendell where the rebel alliance camps. But Luke keeps having dreams of Princess Leia so he and his dragon set out for Minas Morgul, home of Darth Saruman to free Leia. Along the way Obi-Wan gets mortally wounded so he teaches Luke about the Force and gives him his trusty light saber.

Leia, Luke, and his Dragon set out again for Rivendell when Han Solo joins them - Han apparently helped them escape from Minas Morgul. So they get to Rivendell and they discover that they have led Darth Saruman's Orcs and Darth Sauron's Stormtroopers right into the rebel hideout! But of course Luke is now powerful with the force so he and his dragon manage to take out Darth Saruman. The End, but set up for the endless sequels to follow, as Darth Sauron is still alive.

Monkey-boy says HI!

HI!, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I was thrilled to see my old friends Nancy and Mark, and their almost 4 son Anthony this weekend. Poor Anthony started running a fever, so he slept a lot. I am quite amazed at Anthony's language skills! I've met some 5 and 6 year olds (and some 30+ year olds) who can't put together sentences that complex. Brenden meowed for Nancy - I'm so proud of him! He also demonstrated quite aptly why we call him 'Monkey-boy'; some of his climbing feats were giving even Anthony grey hairs.

I made Jonathan some General Tso's Chicken for Father's day and let Brenden scribble all over a card I picked out. And like a jackass I forgot to call my dad. He's supposed to come visit this coming weekend.

What I'm Watching (in hi-def!)

My favorite High Definition channel is hands-down the Discovery HD channel, especially Sunrise Earth. This show is on at 6 am and it's simply mornings on earth somewhere. This morning they had hot air balloon morning in Vermont. It's gorgeous to watch.

I also like the Universal HD channel, because they keep showing nifty movies. I recently watched The Andromeda Strain, which is showing its age (1971), but is still a totally watchable thriller about scientists racing the clock trying to find the nature of an organism that came to earth aboard a satellite and wiped out an entire town.

Then there is Jaws, and I think I have documented sufficiently why this is still one of my all-time favorite movies. And the high definition really brought out details I haven't seen since I originally saw it in the theaters, like during the night attack on Quint's boat: The floats attached to the shark are agitating phosphorescent plankton as they are being dragged through the water, and during long shots you can see shooting stars in the sky.

I saw bits and pieces of Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith on the HBO HD channel. I'm still amazed that George Lucas got such uniformly stiff and wooden performances from such decent actors, but those space battles sure are pretty!

Brenden made me watch some Nascar race sunday afternoon, because he was attracted to the cars on the ESPN HD channel. Fortunately he lost interest after about 5 minutes or so so I went back to watch the Braves get beaten by the Indians on a non-HD channel.

Helping Mom With the Brewing

helping mom, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I'm brewing again because I desparately need a hobby.

A couple of weeks ago I did a quick inventory of my brewing equipment. I still had a couple of plastic bucket fermenters but decided to replace them because they have been used storing all sorts of fun lawn or pool chemicals for the last 3 years. I went online and I found the best of both worlds - a plastic carboy that will hold 6 gallons. I had a 6.5 gallon glass carboy that my husband broke - he denies it but I *know* it was him so I bought a bucket, and I hated it because I couldn't see what was going on during fermentation. See photo - top left for what a carboy is.

So I bought this new plastic carboy -lightweight and unbreakable, and I can peek in at what is going on without having to take the lid off.

I bought a buttload of new stuff just because, including a new hydrometer, 2 freezer thermometers, and a digital cook thermometer. I also bought a new wort chiller because my old one looks like someone sat on it and I'm not into wasting time trying to work the kinks out of copper tubing.

I should remember to order my yeast separately because even though all my supplies arrived 2 days after I ordered it, my big box o' stuff rode around in an UPS delivery truck all day and my *live* yeast pack was decidedly warm.

Still I worried for nothing. This live yeast pack comes with an inner pack of yeast nutrients. You smack the pack, the nutrient pack breaks, and you wait 3 hours and the pack should start to swell with activity. Mine swelled just fine.

My first job was washing everything real well, including scrubbing my old aluminum cook kettle. It took me 2 and a half hours to get that thing presentable. I was also soaking everything in a bleach solution (tubing, racking cane, funnel, stirring spoon) in one of my old fermenting buckets. I then set up a siphon from the old bucket to my new see-through carboy and Brenden decided he was completely fascinated with siphons. He, my kitchen floor, and 6-8 towels were sanitized along with all of my brewing gear (it was 1tbsp clorox to 5 gallons of water. I wasn't afraid of B poisoning himself).

I waited until the evening to actually do the boil. Having Monkey-boy gallavanting around me while I'm trying to boil 5 gallons of sugar water on a propane burner is not my idea of safe brewing. Once el jefe was safely tucked away in his crib I fired her up and got a 5-gallon batch of Irish Red ale a boiling.

I chose Irish Red because it's one of my favorites- I think I have made 1 batch of Irish Red for every 3 batches of beer I've ever brewed (American Cream Ale is my next favorite). I'm very comfortable with making this even if I did get a lot of malted barley grain all over my kitchen when I opened the bag too fast.

Anyway I got hammered while drinking Sam Adams but still managed to get the hops into the wort (the sugar water), the wort boiled, then cooled, then transferred to the carboy without mishap. I pitched the yeast, threw the stopper with the airlock on and put it in my keg freezer at a comfy 68 degrees. Then I stumbled to bed after making sure I at least washed everything enough to get the sugar off.

The next day I peek into the freezer and see a nice head of foam on the wort (that was some perky yeast! Usually it takes about 24 hours to see that much activity), but oddly the airlock isn't burbling - I won't go into detail, but the airlock is designed to let co2 escape during fermentation but not allow other gasses / bugs / critters in. It should bubble with yeast activity like that.

I figure out I forgot a vital part of the airlock when I was assembling everything the night before. I found it, rinsed it off in peach-flavored Vodka (about the only thing that crap is good for) and put it in the airlock. Bubbles ahoy. Now I just hope no bugs or critters got in while this part was missing.

I'm going to bottle this batch - it will probably give me the incentive to get off my butt and clean and sanitize my corny kegs, and get my co2 bottles filled because bottling is a pain in the butt. I was disgruntled to find out my 16 ounce flip-top bottles(think Grolsh bottles) had disappeared because they made bottling just a touch easier.

Next up: I'll probably do a cream ale and keg it, then I think I'll try something more ambitious. I'm thinking an India Pale Ale (lots of hops + a high gravity brew - high gravity means there's a wagonload of malt sugar in the wort therefore lots of alcohol).

Someday I want to move from extract brewing to all-grain brewing. Brenden will definitely have to be older because that takes a full day, from mashing the grains (not what it sounds like) to pitching the yeast.

Next time I brew I'll take photos so you all will know what the hell I'm talking about.

Pointless Chicken Photo

Rooster and hens, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I am sorry to see that Helly's dad has passed away. It makes me thankful that I've spent more time with my dad since Brenden was born. I'm not sure what else I can say about that.

For the first time in 3 years I brewed a batch of beer last weekend. It's currently burping merrily away in my kegorator. I'm going to bottle it, which is a pain in the butt, in about a week or two, as soon as it stops fermenting.

New Brenden phrases: "Uh oh! Woe! Uh oh, Woe!" No, he's not an end-of-times prophet, he's just telling my my cell phone is ringing. "Peas! Peas! Peas!" What he now says when he wants something. It beats his old "Uh. Uh uh uh uh! Uh! UH!" phrase.

Yeah, I don't have much to say. I watched The Sopranos finale and I was happy with the ending. Some people think Tony got whacked. Nonsense. Half the fun of the Sopranos was all the little details like music, movies, books, etc that seemed incidental never were. What Journey song was Tony listening to at the end of the episode/season/series?

Working hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Paying anything to roll the dice
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

Tony and family, and Family, keep on keeping on. Seems self-evident to me.

2 Years Ago...

Thinking, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I went back and corrected a few of the entries for the last meme I posted. I have indeed performed on stage, and I have also had surgery performed on my body. In 2 instances I have lovingly and in detail blogged about the surgical procedures.

We took Brenden to a new place in Decatur called "Off the Walls". It's for kids and it's an indoor playground, featuring many of those inflatable things that kids can jump on, slide off, etc. When we walked in with Brenden, judging by the expression on his face you would have thought the Valkyries had taken him to Valhalla a wee bit early.

We forgot the camera, unfortunately. Because Jon still has a busted foot I got to crawl, slide, climb, and play with El Jefe for 2 1/2 hours. I had fun, but my body sounded like a bowl of Rice Crispies.

Jon took B to his 2 year well-baby appointment. He is 30.4 pounds and 37 inches tall. He is big for his age!

NO WAI, originally uploaded by Women, Fire & Dangerous Things.

Meme time! This is one of those "have you ever" memes, and you answer by bolding the ones you've done:

1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink Small bar, thank goodness.
2. Swam with dolphins
3. Climbed a mountain I'm not going to assume they mean "on foot".
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
6. Held a tarantula
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
8. Said "I love you" and meant it
9. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game Braves vs. Twins! 1991 World Series!
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity - If I have given anything, I have to assume it's what I could afford
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign Don't ask I'm ashamed.
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs Some of these are stupid
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an expert
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Eaten fugu (pufferfish)
89. Had a one-night stand
90. Gone to Thailand
91. Bought a house
92. Been in a combat zone
93. Buried one/both of your parents
94. Been on a cruise ship
95. Spoken more than one language fluently
96. Performed in Rocky Horror Picture Show
97. Raised children In the process of..
98. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge - I drove it
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds (45.5 kilograms)
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart - I don't think so
111. Ridden a bike
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol Yes, yes, and yes
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach -ew!
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one important author who you missed in school, and read Many
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life - Unknown, but I have donated blood quite often, and being 0 neg (universal donor), I would hope someone got some use out of it!

Looking for trouble

Looking for trouble, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Letter to Brenden Month 24

Happy Birthday, child of mine. I hope you enjoy your chocolate cake with vanilla icing and Spongebob thingies poking out of it all over the top. I wish I were there to eat it with you. ‹/mommy guilt›

Your physical skills, both gross and fine motor skills, are a quantum leap ahead of where you were this time last year. You climb everything you possibly can, which is a major hassle because I'm having to lock you out of the kitchen some times to keep you off the dishwasher, the table, the counters. I had kittens when you came out of the kitchen waving a knife around. I know that knife was in the knife block, well away from the edge of the counter!

You have improved your vocabulary, and as I have written previously, you overload the meanings of words because you have so few of them and that is classical toddler behavior.

I have noticed other words:

"Chayah!" Which means chair. Usually you say this when you are hungry and are ready to sit down and eat.

"Dowah! Door, which usually means the fridge door. You are mastering the habit of standing there, looking in the fridge, trying to decide what you want. I recall this habit irritating the piss out of my mom. Payback is hell.

"Shoo shoo!" Choo-choo, or your train set. You overload this one to mean just about any toy with wheels except airplanes. Speaking of:

"Ayahplagh" (Really!) This is your new attempt to say airplane. You also say "Keeat" instead of "keetee" when referring to the cat now.

I'm sure you have a much larger vocabulary than I'm giving you credit for, honey. Give me time, I'm learning.

Da da na na meow

Pool side, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

A new lesson in Brendenspeak:

Yesterday Brenden told me "Da da na na meow!"

It is important, when translating Brendenspeak to know the context. Brenden and I were outside, next to the hot tub.

"Da Da" translates to "parent person". It is either me, or Jon. This one word doesn't change meaning much with context unlike the other 5-6 words in his vocabulary.

"Na na", derived from "night night", has come to mean "pick me up and place me (x)". Since we always say "night night" to him when we pick him up and place him in his crib, it doesn't take too much to understand where this new definition came from.

"Meow!" Something to drink, or liquid, depending on context. In this case it meant the hot tub.

So to put it all together, Brenden said: "Mom, pick me up and put me in the hot tub!"

We spent an hour splishing around in there. The pool is crystal clear, but too doggone cold right now.

This flower has nothing to do with this post

hisbiscus, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

I had a good time in Michigan. It was nice to be able to relax, unwind, and get tanked without having to chase Brenden about. It was good to see Hector again, as well as his brother Victor and their always cool parents. I will post pictures eventually. I don't know if any of them are worth posting. I blame the beer.

My brother and his hilarious wife Jen were there, as well as mom and Price. I was also happy to see Hector's friend Dave there - counting him, Ed, Hector, and Victor, it was a reunion of my old Dungeons and Dragons group. I definitely hope some of those photos come out! I'll write more later.

I met Victor's fiance, Kim. They're getting married next month! I wish they had spaced it out more because I can't go.

This wedding was the second I've been to where I have seen a Shrek wedding cake topper. It makes sense - Shrek is the most romantic movie to have come out in a long time.

Speaking of movies, I saw Spider-man III Saturday before the wedding. I concur with Nancy: it's a better movie than the critics are giving it credit for. It's not as good as the second movie, and there was way too much jammed in there, but overall I was very happy because Sam Raimi did not forget that the first two movies were about Peter, MJ, and Harry and he brought the story to a satisfying (and open-ended) conclusion.

Brenden did something pretty cute Sunday: he dragged a teddy bear out of his room, put him on the couch laying down with his head on a pillow. Then he pulled a small comforter we keep on the couch over his bear, patted it on the back, and said "ni-ni! Ni-ni!" (night- night).

Happy Towel Day!

Happy Towel Day!, originally uploaded by mmuzzy.

It's been a while since I've nattered about my favorite redhead. I'm still quite fond of him but lately I have realized that if I could be any inanimate object I wanted to be it would be Jamie Bamber's towel (hence the title of this post, though it is towel day. Surely you know where your towel is?).

Anyway, Damian Lewis is going to be in a new series on NBC this fall. The bad news is it's a cop show (Life). I predict it will last about 4-5 episodes. I'm thinking the success of Hugh Laurie in House has made hiring Brits to play Americans the fashionable thing to do. Speaking of Mr. Laurie, it took several seasons of House before I finally recognized him as the goofball twit from the many incarnations of Blackadder.

It worked for the aforementioned Laurie and Bamber (though technically Lee Adama's not American - he's Caprican) but failed for Ioan Gruffudd who was in some Lawyer show a few years ago that tanked mightily (Century City, if I recally correctly). I won't mind a cop show if the writing is good.

Birthday Present

Birthday Present, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

In response to Alan's comment yesterday:

I will give Hector your congratulations. I should have posted this before, but here is a link to his wedding info.

His brother Victor is doing great, still lives in Atlanta (I think) and has an important lady in his life, too. No word on any impending marriage yet.

What I'm (not) watching:

After poorly marketing it and placing it against the powerhouse of garbage that is American Idol, Veronica Mars is no more. I had to quit watching it after the first 7 eps of this season because my husband likes AI. That royally sucks. I wish Fox or one of the other networks would resurrect it and let it find the audience it deserves. Hell, the USA network has a good track record with detective shows.

Battlestar Galactica is on hiatus until 2008, but it has at least one season left. The show's creator doesn't want it to go on indefinitely, but wants the show to resolve its story then bow out gracefully. I think that's a fantastic idea and something Chris Carter should have understood when the X-Files wound down.

Season 3 of BSG was uneven; the first half was awesome with the humans breaking out of New Capricra and dealing with the aftermath plus finding the next signpost to Earth. the second half deteriorated badly with some horrid episodes. I found out later that the show's writers had to axe a story line and rushed to fill in the episodes and it shows with some awful writing. The season finale kind of and sort of made up for it when Apollo reads the riot act* to the entire fracking fleet during Baltar's trial. I also like the fact that Starbuck *is* alive, and I have no clue whatsoever what is going to happen to the fleet in season 3 (it doesn't look too good).

Lost 's season ended with a bang in its season finale, and like BSG, plans to bow out gracefully by telling its story then leaving the stage (in 3 more seasons). I am officially liking this series again after an uneven start. I could use more footage of Jack beating up Ben next season!

24's season ended with a whimper. I think this show is done for, and it should have ended with season 4. Maybe *next* season the writers will listen to me and understand that they don't need to put the world on the edge of apocalypse to make a show exciting. I doubt they will listen to me though.

So once again it is summer rerun time, also known as the long, dark tea time of the soul. Anybody got any good movie recommendations?

What's on the Beach

What's on the Beach, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

Jon broke his foot last weekend, and no it wasn't on a skydive. His foot looks real ugly but the doc didn't even cast it. He should be able to walk on it by next week. I am flying up to Detroit Friday to my friend Hector's wedding and I was worried I would have to miss it because of the busted foot but Jon found someone who will help him with Brenden. I will take the camera ans snap a bunch of photos, of course.

Real quick, because I'm like 3 weeks late with this:

Letter to Brenden Month 23: You are doing three new things since I've written one of these:

The good: you love to dance. I mean you put on your boogie shoes and get down. You didn't get that from me!

The bad: quit stage-diving, little buddy! You are finding things to climb on and then launching yourself at me. So far you've been lucky and I haven't missed. When we go into the pool next time I think I'm going to deliberately miss, so maybe you will learn a little caution.

The ugly: stop eating bugs!

Stoplight Parrotfish

Stoplight Parrotfish, originally uploaded by Sandra Maynard.

FYI, parrotfishies are the main culprit behind St. John's soft sands. They are called parrotfish because they have beaks for mouths (kind of) and they scrape old coral for food. They poop out the coral, which has been reduced to small grains (sand). That's right, and it's the best damn fish poop I've ever walked on.

Trip Report: May 8,9,10 Trunk Bay, Cruz Bay, and Coming Home
On the morning of May 8 we chose to go to a different beach. Trunk Bay is one of the more famous beaches of the Virgin Islands - it is very pretty plus it has even better facilities that Cinnamon Bay. That's the problem: there's a $4 entry fee and many, many people go there and it's especially crowded when tour groups from one of the cruise ships shows up. The whole trick to Trunk Bay is to arrive real early, say 7:30 in the morning. You won't have to pay to get in and there's usually only a few other folks on the beach. Jon snorkeled along the underwater Trail:



Brenden was even more bold in the water, which was very calm. He'd try to walk out as far as he could then he'd insist on me carrying him as far as we could. He kept pointing at this blue bouy and saying "Ball! Ball!" and wanting us to go to it. It was too deep, and I didn't have any trustworthy floaties I could load him in and swim with him to it.



The day was cloudy and showers kept threatening but we lasted until about 10 when it started getting too crowded. Brenden, with his endless fascination with running water, had a major meltdown when I insisted we leave the shower area. He fell asleep by the time we drove back into town.

If you guessed we played in the pool in the afternoon, you wouldn't be wrong. Jon went on a night-time scuba dive and I stayed with Brenden.



We decided to slack even more on the 9th. We went into Cruz Bay to window-shop and snap some photos. We found a little children's park near the National Park dock but it was getting hot about then so we went and ate at a restaurant (The Balcony) which is on the 2nd Floor of Wharfside Village (a shopping area near the Passenger Ferry dock). The food was better than we had in St. Thomas, more plentiful, and less expensive. Go figure. Brenden loooooooooooves shrimp.



During the entire vacation, Brenden would take long naps (3 hours at least). No, we didn't mind; there's something about the tropics (the heat, duh) that wears you out and Jon and I would take naps during the afternoon, as well. But any time B is asleep it's quality time, so I fought the sleepies and sat out on the veranda and watched the boats come and go. I also walked around the grounds and snapped photos of the flora and fauna. I saw 2 iguanas while we were there but I decided photos were out because both of them were sadly roadkill.

Brenden got more quality pool-time that afternoon, of course.



Coming home was like clockwork, too, surprisingly. We loaded up the jeep, checked out, caught a car barge back to st. Thomas, brought the jeep back to the car rental place, they drove us to the airport. Dependable in St. Thomas has friendly employees, by the way. That reminds me: The fellow who drove us from the airport to the car rental place was quiet but polite. When he left us, he said "goodbye" and I said goodbye, too. Brenden surprised him (and me) by waving and saying "bye-bye!" and the guy gave us both a beautiful, sunny smile. He was more talkative when he drove us back to the airport a week later.

So anyway the flights back were unremarkable. Brenden did have a meltdown on the flight from Ft. Lauderdale to Atlanta but he fell asleep before the plane left the tarmac and didn't wake up until we were retrieving our luggage. We drove back to Hartselle right then, and didn't get to the house until 1:30, swearing right then that we would pay an extra $600-$800 to fly out of Huntsville or Birmingham next time.

Overall, I loved the vacation, but perhaps the Virgin Islands was too ambitious for a full family vacation considering Brenden's age. The Gulf Coast is 5 hours south of us by car, after all. But as Brenden gets older, I hope he continues to find the ocean as exciting and enjoyable as I still do. My mom tells me that my brother Edward was snorkeling at the age of 3. I opened the pool last weekend and as soon as it gets warm enough we are going to continue working with Brenden on his swimming lessons.